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CRITIC TE AROHI
Over the past few weeks, transphobic pamphlets have been appearing on noticeboards around campus. One student has reported the pamphlets to Critic Te Arohi twice. Both times, the pamphlets were put up on the Hunter Centre noticeboard. On May 12 they said “we noticed some rather gross propaganda protesting against the upcoming bill aroundsex
WHAT IS BEHIND NEW ZEALAND’S HIGH SUICIDE RATE? Labour Party Leader Jacinda Ardern said, “every single suicide is simply unacceptable,” and proposed a review into the reasons for this rise in suicide statistics, which she says likely include growing inequality, overstretched health services, increased societal pressures, and population growth. People aged 18-24 are considered anat-risk
HOW TO TAKE MUSHROOMS AND NOT DIE Cut the stem off the mushroom, as close to the cap as possible. Put the cap (top up) on a piece of white paper. Put a glass over the top to keep air away. Leave the cap overnight to let spores drop. The next day, check out the colour of the spore print on the paper. If your mushroom has purple-brown to black spores, AND the flesh turns bluish HOW TO MAKE THE STRONGEST EDIBLES POSSIBLE 1/4 cup cocoa. 1 cup sugar. 1/2 cup flour. 2 eggs beaten. Melt the butter in a pot. Finely chop the weed, and add it to the melted butter. You want to keep the butter at a simmer (not a boil) to further decarboxylate the weed. You don't want to burn it, so watch the butter and stir often. I like to keep it simmering for around 30minutes.
OG LIME VS. LIME GEN4 VS. NEURON Speed - 4/5. Acceleration - 5/5. Handling - 4/5. Aesthetic - 3/5. Affordability- 4/5. As an avowed fan of the classic Lime, I was ready to nitpick any flaw that I could find with Neuron. Instead, what I found was an impressive evolution of the e-scooter. While substantially bigger than the Lime-S and on par with the Gen4, thatsize adds
LION BROWN IS THE LEAST INTERESTING BEER IN NEW ZEALAND Lion Brown is the oldest and least interesting beer you’ve ever seen. The Brown Bomber has been around since 1907, and despite existing for 111 years, no one ever thought to adjust the recipe to make it taste good. Despite being mediocre as shit and not being anywhere near strong enough to HOW TO: GET YOURSELF OFF Step Two: Become aroused. There are many ways to get yourself hot and heavy. Some people like to watch videos of other people having sex; others like to read poetry, or enjoy a nice cup of tea. For some, having someone stand on your genitals while they are wearing high heels is the answer. Whatever it is that gets you going. WOODSTOCK IS THE BIGGEST BITCH DRINK IN NEW ZEALAND Woodstock a sick ly sweet syrupy concoction with a harsh aftertaste that I swear can’t be real bourbon. There’s almost as much sugar in a 12 pack of Woodstock 5% as in four litres of Talleys Ice Cream. There’s more sugar per can in these than in Vodka Cruisers, meaning Woodstock wins the honourable title of the biggest Bitch Drink in NewZealand.
SCIENCE TANK
The thought experiment involves a cat who is placed in a sealed box with a flask of poison, a radioactive source and a radioactivity monitor. If the monitor detects any radioactivity, it will shatter the flask of poison, killing kitty. Quantum mechanics would imply that, after a while, the cat is simultaneously alive and dead - but when thebox
DUNEDIN’S PUB QUIZZES, RANKEDCRITIC TE AROHI
Over the past few weeks, transphobic pamphlets have been appearing on noticeboards around campus. One student has reported the pamphlets to Critic Te Arohi twice. Both times, the pamphlets were put up on the Hunter Centre noticeboard. On May 12 they said “we noticed some rather gross propaganda protesting against the upcoming bill aroundsex
WHAT IS BEHIND NEW ZEALAND’S HIGH SUICIDE RATE? Labour Party Leader Jacinda Ardern said, “every single suicide is simply unacceptable,” and proposed a review into the reasons for this rise in suicide statistics, which she says likely include growing inequality, overstretched health services, increased societal pressures, and population growth. People aged 18-24 are considered anat-risk
HOW TO TAKE MUSHROOMS AND NOT DIE Cut the stem off the mushroom, as close to the cap as possible. Put the cap (top up) on a piece of white paper. Put a glass over the top to keep air away. Leave the cap overnight to let spores drop. The next day, check out the colour of the spore print on the paper. If your mushroom has purple-brown to black spores, AND the flesh turns bluish HOW TO MAKE THE STRONGEST EDIBLES POSSIBLE 1/4 cup cocoa. 1 cup sugar. 1/2 cup flour. 2 eggs beaten. Melt the butter in a pot. Finely chop the weed, and add it to the melted butter. You want to keep the butter at a simmer (not a boil) to further decarboxylate the weed. You don't want to burn it, so watch the butter and stir often. I like to keep it simmering for around 30minutes.
OG LIME VS. LIME GEN4 VS. NEURON Speed - 4/5. Acceleration - 5/5. Handling - 4/5. Aesthetic - 3/5. Affordability- 4/5. As an avowed fan of the classic Lime, I was ready to nitpick any flaw that I could find with Neuron. Instead, what I found was an impressive evolution of the e-scooter. While substantially bigger than the Lime-S and on par with the Gen4, thatsize adds
LION BROWN IS THE LEAST INTERESTING BEER IN NEW ZEALAND Lion Brown is the oldest and least interesting beer you’ve ever seen. The Brown Bomber has been around since 1907, and despite existing for 111 years, no one ever thought to adjust the recipe to make it taste good. Despite being mediocre as shit and not being anywhere near strong enough to HOW TO: GET YOURSELF OFF Step Two: Become aroused. There are many ways to get yourself hot and heavy. Some people like to watch videos of other people having sex; others like to read poetry, or enjoy a nice cup of tea. For some, having someone stand on your genitals while they are wearing high heels is the answer. Whatever it is that gets you going. WOODSTOCK IS THE BIGGEST BITCH DRINK IN NEW ZEALAND Woodstock a sick ly sweet syrupy concoction with a harsh aftertaste that I swear can’t be real bourbon. There’s almost as much sugar in a 12 pack of Woodstock 5% as in four litres of Talleys Ice Cream. There’s more sugar per can in these than in Vodka Cruisers, meaning Woodstock wins the honourable title of the biggest Bitch Drink in NewZealand.
SCIENCE TANK
The thought experiment involves a cat who is placed in a sealed box with a flask of poison, a radioactive source and a radioactivity monitor. If the monitor detects any radioactivity, it will shatter the flask of poison, killing kitty. Quantum mechanics would imply that, after a while, the cat is simultaneously alive and dead - but when thebox
DUNEDIN’S PUB QUIZZES, RANKEDMUSIC - NEWS
Music Ha the Unclear - Bacterium, look at your motor go. Posted 2:58pm Sunday 28th September 2014 by Adrian Ng. Rating: A- After releasing a handful of lo-fi pop albums, EPs and singles under the moniker Brown, no one suspected that the Dunedin/Auckland quartet was gearing up fora drastic makeover.
DEPRESSION: THE HIDDEN ILLNESS In addition to mood and activity changes, the following symptoms are often experienced by sufferers: -Weight loss or gain, or appetite loss. -Insomnia or hypersomnia. -Unusual (such as really slow) movements. -Tiredness. -Feelings of worthlessness or guilt. -Difficulty thinking or concentrating.ARTICLE ARCHIVE
Founded in 1925, Critic is the student magazine of the Otago University Students' Association. Critic is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA). TAG SEARCH | CRITIC TE AROHI Period Pain: The best drugs for combatting that time of the month . Posted 12:42am Monday 24th May 2021 by Runze Liu. Period pains, medically referred to as dysmenorrhoea, are annoyingly painful and are an all too real struggle for people who menstruate. HOW TO GET THROUGH UNIVERSITY DOING AS LITTLE WORK AS EASIEST PAPERS TO PASS. (in order as voted) 1. MAOR102: Māori Society. (Also voted Easiest A) “They basically give you the exam questions in an online multiple choice bank two weeks before the exam.”. “Did nothing all semester, showed up to the exam stoned and still came out with an A+.”. “Exam is multichoice andquestions are the
TUI IS THE WORST BEER IN NEW ZEALAND Tui is a scourge upon our entire society. Fuck Tui. It looks and tastes like Speight’s with a little bit of poo mixed in. It’s exactly the same as every other generic NZ Draught style beer, but somehow manages to be worse. On the nose, I detect subtle notes of wetdog and semen. It
HOW TO TAKE FEET PICS The shot: Composition is the most important part of photography. You can have all the right pieces, but a shit shot will mess the whole thing up. Critic’s photographer Aiman suggests to play with as many different angles as you can, regardless of setting, props, and lighting: every new angle makes for a completely different (but sexy)foot
AQUANAUTS: DIVING HAS NEVER LOOKED SO GOOD From 11 June to 20 June, the Screaming Rooster will play host to something a bit different. Aquanauts, a pop-up art exhibition about the history of diving, has been set up by eight Communication Design students from Otago Polytech. Rosa Nevison, Hanna Anstiss, Emily Bell,Emily Montgomery,
ARTICLE ARCHIVE
Archive Sexing It up in Shark Week. Posted 6:10pm Thursday 17th May 2018 by Maddie Grant. Considering lesbians probably have this shit down - this one is for the cis heteros who for some reason are still queasy when it comes to periods and sex. NO REDEMPTION FOR SUNK PONG STAR Once on top of the world, beer pong star Barry BonGlover has had quite the fall from grace. Ever since a manicure-gone-wrong rendered both of his hands useless, Barry has gone through alcoholism, jail, and divorce. And we were there for all of it! Let’s take a look back at some of his greatestCRITIC TE AROHI
Over the past few weeks, transphobic pamphlets have been appearing on noticeboards around campus. One student has reported the pamphlets to Critic Te Arohi twice. Both times, the pamphlets were put up on the Hunter Centre noticeboard. On May 12 they said “we noticed some rather gross propaganda protesting against the upcoming bill aroundsex
HOROSCOPE | COLUMNS | CRITIC TE AROHI Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Vape juice isn’t a substitute for serotonin. Coping mechanism: Therapy Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Keep having low standards, it’s only up from here. Coping mechanism: Maladaptive daydreaming Aries Mar 21 - Apr HOW TO TAKE MUSHROOMS AND NOT DIE Cut the stem off the mushroom, as close to the cap as possible. Put the cap (top up) on a piece of white paper. Put a glass over the top to keep air away. Leave the cap overnight to let spores drop. The next day, check out the colour of the spore print on the paper. If your mushroom has purple-brown to black spores, AND the flesh turns bluish OG LIME VS. LIME GEN4 VS. NEURON Speed - 4/5. Acceleration - 5/5. Handling - 4/5. Aesthetic - 3/5. Affordability- 4/5. As an avowed fan of the classic Lime, I was ready to nitpick any flaw that I could find with Neuron. Instead, what I found was an impressive evolution of the e-scooter. While substantially bigger than the Lime-S and on par with the Gen4, thatsize adds
ROTUMAN LANGUAGE WEEK: TIME TO LEARN ABOUT ROTUMA Rotuma is a group of volcanic islands, made up of Rotuma Island and nearby islets (tiny baby islands), and is a self-governing Fijian dependency. Rotuma Island is 13km long and 4km wide, and is located about 465km North of Fiji. Rotuma is unique from Fiji, but continues to be thoroughly integrated with the rest of Fiji politically,socially
WHAT IS BEHIND NEW ZEALAND’S HIGH SUICIDE RATE? Labour Party Leader Jacinda Ardern said, “every single suicide is simply unacceptable,” and proposed a review into the reasons for this rise in suicide statistics, which she says likely include growing inequality, overstretched health services, increased societal pressures, and population growth. People aged 18-24 are considered anat-risk
HOW TO FUCK A MOOSE
Remember, there is only one way to thumb-wrestle, and that is to crush your opponent’s entire goddamn fist into a bloody mash of bone and gristle. Train your mind. Train your spirit. Train your flea circus. Visualise moose. Dream moose. For practice, fuck a deer. Moose are kind of like big deer. LION BROWN IS THE LEAST INTERESTING BEER IN NEW ZEALAND Lion Brown is the oldest and least interesting beer you’ve ever seen. The Brown Bomber has been around since 1907, and despite existing for 111 years, no one ever thought to adjust the recipe to make it taste good. Despite being mediocre as shit and not being anywhere near strong enough to WOODSTOCK IS THE BIGGEST BITCH DRINK IN NEW ZEALAND Woodstock a sick ly sweet syrupy concoction with a harsh aftertaste that I swear can’t be real bourbon. There’s almost as much sugar in a 12 pack of Woodstock 5% as in four litres of Talleys Ice Cream. There’s more sugar per can in these than in Vodka Cruisers, meaning Woodstock wins the honourable title of the biggest Bitch Drink in NewZealand.
HOW TO TAKE FEET PICS The shot: Composition is the most important part of photography. You can have all the right pieces, but a shit shot will mess the whole thing up. Critic’s photographer Aiman suggests to play with as many different angles as you can, regardless of setting, props, and lighting: every new angle makes for a completely different (but sexy)foot
CRITIC TE AROHI
Over the past few weeks, transphobic pamphlets have been appearing on noticeboards around campus. One student has reported the pamphlets to Critic Te Arohi twice. Both times, the pamphlets were put up on the Hunter Centre noticeboard. On May 12 they said “we noticed some rather gross propaganda protesting against the upcoming bill aroundsex
HOROSCOPE | COLUMNS | CRITIC TE AROHI Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Vape juice isn’t a substitute for serotonin. Coping mechanism: Therapy Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Keep having low standards, it’s only up from here. Coping mechanism: Maladaptive daydreaming Aries Mar 21 - Apr HOW TO TAKE MUSHROOMS AND NOT DIE Cut the stem off the mushroom, as close to the cap as possible. Put the cap (top up) on a piece of white paper. Put a glass over the top to keep air away. Leave the cap overnight to let spores drop. The next day, check out the colour of the spore print on the paper. If your mushroom has purple-brown to black spores, AND the flesh turns bluish ROTUMAN LANGUAGE WEEK: TIME TO LEARN ABOUT ROTUMA Rotuma is a group of volcanic islands, made up of Rotuma Island and nearby islets (tiny baby islands), and is a self-governing Fijian dependency. Rotuma Island is 13km long and 4km wide, and is located about 465km North of Fiji. Rotuma is unique from Fiji, but continues to be thoroughly integrated with the rest of Fiji politically,socially
OG LIME VS. LIME GEN4 VS. NEURON Speed - 4/5. Acceleration - 5/5. Handling - 4/5. Aesthetic - 3/5. Affordability- 4/5. As an avowed fan of the classic Lime, I was ready to nitpick any flaw that I could find with Neuron. Instead, what I found was an impressive evolution of the e-scooter. While substantially bigger than the Lime-S and on par with the Gen4, thatsize adds
WHAT IS BEHIND NEW ZEALAND’S HIGH SUICIDE RATE? Labour Party Leader Jacinda Ardern said, “every single suicide is simply unacceptable,” and proposed a review into the reasons for this rise in suicide statistics, which she says likely include growing inequality, overstretched health services, increased societal pressures, and population growth. People aged 18-24 are considered anat-risk
HOW TO FUCK A MOOSE
Remember, there is only one way to thumb-wrestle, and that is to crush your opponent’s entire goddamn fist into a bloody mash of bone and gristle. Train your mind. Train your spirit. Train your flea circus. Visualise moose. Dream moose. For practice, fuck a deer. Moose are kind of like big deer. LION BROWN IS THE LEAST INTERESTING BEER IN NEW ZEALAND Lion Brown is the oldest and least interesting beer you’ve ever seen. The Brown Bomber has been around since 1907, and despite existing for 111 years, no one ever thought to adjust the recipe to make it taste good. Despite being mediocre as shit and not being anywhere near strong enough to WOODSTOCK IS THE BIGGEST BITCH DRINK IN NEW ZEALAND Woodstock a sick ly sweet syrupy concoction with a harsh aftertaste that I swear can’t be real bourbon. There’s almost as much sugar in a 12 pack of Woodstock 5% as in four litres of Talleys Ice Cream. There’s more sugar per can in these than in Vodka Cruisers, meaning Woodstock wins the honourable title of the biggest Bitch Drink in NewZealand.
HOW TO TAKE FEET PICS The shot: Composition is the most important part of photography. You can have all the right pieces, but a shit shot will mess the whole thing up. Critic’s photographer Aiman suggests to play with as many different angles as you can, regardless of setting, props, and lighting: every new angle makes for a completely different (but sexy)foot
MUSIC - NEWS
Music Ha the Unclear - Bacterium, look at your motor go. Posted 2:58pm Sunday 28th September 2014 by Adrian Ng. Rating: A- After releasing a handful of lo-fi pop albums, EPs and singles under the moniker Brown, no one suspected that the Dunedin/Auckland quartet was gearing up fora drastic makeover.
HOROSCOPE | COLUMNS | CRITIC TE AROHI Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Vape juice isn’t a substitute for serotonin. Coping mechanism: Therapy Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Keep having low standards, it’s only up from here. Coping mechanism: Maladaptive daydreaming Aries Mar 21 - Apr TAG SEARCH | CRITIC TE AROHI Period Pain: The best drugs for combatting that time of the month . Posted 12:42am Monday 24th May 2021 by Runze Liu. Period pains, medically referred to as dysmenorrhoea, are annoyingly painful and are an all too real struggle for people who menstruate. THERE WILL BE BLOOD: THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE MESSY OF Most humans swap a lot of bodily fluids to show that we’re attracted to each other, but for some reason we don’t put period blood in that category. There’s a longstanding belief that periods are unclean or gross, with no evidence to back that up. And contrary to what a lot ofARTICLE ARCHIVE
Archive Sexing It up in Shark Week. Posted 6:10pm Thursday 17th May 2018 by Maddie Grant. Considering lesbians probably have this shit down - this one is for the cis heteros who for some reason are still queasy when it comes to periods and sex. CRITIC SAVED AN AUCKLAND UNI STUDENT FROM A “CULT” Unclear if cults respect social distancing. Last week, an Auckland Uni student claimed to have been approached by two girls from Elohim Academy. Elohim Academy is a sub-group of the World Mission Society Church of God (WMSCOG), which is known for its aggressive recruitment strategy, and has been labeled by some as a cult.NUDITY & RUDITY
Nudity & Rudity. After spending some time in a nude sauna in Finland, Kirsty Gordge explores public nudity in New Zealand, asking the big question: Why don’t Kiwis get naked more often? Boobs: perky, droopy, and wrinkled. Nipples: dark, pink and small. Bums: tight,HOW TO FUCK A MOOSE
Remember, there is only one way to thumb-wrestle, and that is to crush your opponent’s entire goddamn fist into a bloody mash of bone and gristle. Train your mind. Train your spirit. Train your flea circus. Visualise moose. Dream moose. For practice, fuck a deer. Moose are kind of like big deer. DUNEDIN’S PUB QUIZZES, RANKED Dog With Two Tails. Dog’s quiz is six rounds of six questions, always finishing with a music round. The questions are homegrown by Jamie Green of Radio 1, so props for keeping it original. It’s a very laid back atmosphere, but you still have to get there an hour early to get a good seat. It feels a bit more like a café than a pub,and you
THE SLINKS: KINGS OF FLAT PARTIES The Slinks: Kings of Flat Parties. The Slinks are an up and coming band on the Dunedin scene. Starting out in 2019, they’ve worked their way up from playing at the humble Crown Hotel to playing gigs as far out of town as Queenstown. They have two EPs out on Spotify: The Slinks and Come On Now.CRITIC TE AROHI
Over the past few weeks, transphobic pamphlets have been appearing on noticeboards around campus. One student has reported the pamphlets to Critic Te Arohi twice. Both times, the pamphlets were put up on the Hunter Centre noticeboard. On May 12 they said “we noticed some rather gross propaganda protesting against the upcoming bill aroundsex
HOROSCOPE | COLUMNS | CRITIC TE AROHI Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Vape juice isn’t a substitute for serotonin. Coping mechanism: Therapy Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Keep having low standards, it’s only up from here. Coping mechanism: Maladaptive daydreaming Aries Mar 21 - Apr HOW TO TAKE MUSHROOMS AND NOT DIE Cut the stem off the mushroom, as close to the cap as possible. Put the cap (top up) on a piece of white paper. Put a glass over the top to keep air away. Leave the cap overnight to let spores drop. The next day, check out the colour of the spore print on the paper. If your mushroom has purple-brown to black spores, AND the flesh turns bluish OG LIME VS. LIME GEN4 VS. NEURON Speed - 4/5. Acceleration - 5/5. Handling - 4/5. Aesthetic - 3/5. Affordability- 4/5. As an avowed fan of the classic Lime, I was ready to nitpick any flaw that I could find with Neuron. Instead, what I found was an impressive evolution of the e-scooter. While substantially bigger than the Lime-S and on par with the Gen4, thatsize adds
ROTUMAN LANGUAGE WEEK: TIME TO LEARN ABOUT ROTUMA Rotuma is a group of volcanic islands, made up of Rotuma Island and nearby islets (tiny baby islands), and is a self-governing Fijian dependency. Rotuma Island is 13km long and 4km wide, and is located about 465km North of Fiji. Rotuma is unique from Fiji, but continues to be thoroughly integrated with the rest of Fiji politically,socially
WHAT IS BEHIND NEW ZEALAND’S HIGH SUICIDE RATE? Labour Party Leader Jacinda Ardern said, “every single suicide is simply unacceptable,” and proposed a review into the reasons for this rise in suicide statistics, which she says likely include growing inequality, overstretched health services, increased societal pressures, and population growth. People aged 18-24 are considered anat-risk
HOW TO FUCK A MOOSE
Remember, there is only one way to thumb-wrestle, and that is to crush your opponent’s entire goddamn fist into a bloody mash of bone and gristle. Train your mind. Train your spirit. Train your flea circus. Visualise moose. Dream moose. For practice, fuck a deer. Moose are kind of like big deer. LION BROWN IS THE LEAST INTERESTING BEER IN NEW ZEALAND Lion Brown is the oldest and least interesting beer you’ve ever seen. The Brown Bomber has been around since 1907, and despite existing for 111 years, no one ever thought to adjust the recipe to make it taste good. Despite being mediocre as shit and not being anywhere near strong enough to WOODSTOCK IS THE BIGGEST BITCH DRINK IN NEW ZEALAND Woodstock a sick ly sweet syrupy concoction with a harsh aftertaste that I swear can’t be real bourbon. There’s almost as much sugar in a 12 pack of Woodstock 5% as in four litres of Talleys Ice Cream. There’s more sugar per can in these than in Vodka Cruisers, meaning Woodstock wins the honourable title of the biggest Bitch Drink in NewZealand.
HOW TO TAKE FEET PICS The shot: Composition is the most important part of photography. You can have all the right pieces, but a shit shot will mess the whole thing up. Critic’s photographer Aiman suggests to play with as many different angles as you can, regardless of setting, props, and lighting: every new angle makes for a completely different (but sexy)foot
CRITIC TE AROHI
Over the past few weeks, transphobic pamphlets have been appearing on noticeboards around campus. One student has reported the pamphlets to Critic Te Arohi twice. Both times, the pamphlets were put up on the Hunter Centre noticeboard. On May 12 they said “we noticed some rather gross propaganda protesting against the upcoming bill aroundsex
HOROSCOPE | COLUMNS | CRITIC TE AROHI Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Vape juice isn’t a substitute for serotonin. Coping mechanism: Therapy Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Keep having low standards, it’s only up from here. Coping mechanism: Maladaptive daydreaming Aries Mar 21 - Apr HOW TO TAKE MUSHROOMS AND NOT DIE Cut the stem off the mushroom, as close to the cap as possible. Put the cap (top up) on a piece of white paper. Put a glass over the top to keep air away. Leave the cap overnight to let spores drop. The next day, check out the colour of the spore print on the paper. If your mushroom has purple-brown to black spores, AND the flesh turns bluish OG LIME VS. LIME GEN4 VS. NEURON Speed - 4/5. Acceleration - 5/5. Handling - 4/5. Aesthetic - 3/5. Affordability- 4/5. As an avowed fan of the classic Lime, I was ready to nitpick any flaw that I could find with Neuron. Instead, what I found was an impressive evolution of the e-scooter. While substantially bigger than the Lime-S and on par with the Gen4, thatsize adds
ROTUMAN LANGUAGE WEEK: TIME TO LEARN ABOUT ROTUMA Rotuma is a group of volcanic islands, made up of Rotuma Island and nearby islets (tiny baby islands), and is a self-governing Fijian dependency. Rotuma Island is 13km long and 4km wide, and is located about 465km North of Fiji. Rotuma is unique from Fiji, but continues to be thoroughly integrated with the rest of Fiji politically,socially
WHAT IS BEHIND NEW ZEALAND’S HIGH SUICIDE RATE? Labour Party Leader Jacinda Ardern said, “every single suicide is simply unacceptable,” and proposed a review into the reasons for this rise in suicide statistics, which she says likely include growing inequality, overstretched health services, increased societal pressures, and population growth. People aged 18-24 are considered anat-risk
HOW TO FUCK A MOOSE
Remember, there is only one way to thumb-wrestle, and that is to crush your opponent’s entire goddamn fist into a bloody mash of bone and gristle. Train your mind. Train your spirit. Train your flea circus. Visualise moose. Dream moose. For practice, fuck a deer. Moose are kind of like big deer. LION BROWN IS THE LEAST INTERESTING BEER IN NEW ZEALAND Lion Brown is the oldest and least interesting beer you’ve ever seen. The Brown Bomber has been around since 1907, and despite existing for 111 years, no one ever thought to adjust the recipe to make it taste good. Despite being mediocre as shit and not being anywhere near strong enough to WOODSTOCK IS THE BIGGEST BITCH DRINK IN NEW ZEALAND Woodstock a sick ly sweet syrupy concoction with a harsh aftertaste that I swear can’t be real bourbon. There’s almost as much sugar in a 12 pack of Woodstock 5% as in four litres of Talleys Ice Cream. There’s more sugar per can in these than in Vodka Cruisers, meaning Woodstock wins the honourable title of the biggest Bitch Drink in NewZealand.
HOW TO TAKE FEET PICS The shot: Composition is the most important part of photography. You can have all the right pieces, but a shit shot will mess the whole thing up. Critic’s photographer Aiman suggests to play with as many different angles as you can, regardless of setting, props, and lighting: every new angle makes for a completely different (but sexy)foot
MUSIC - NEWS
Music Ha the Unclear - Bacterium, look at your motor go. Posted 2:58pm Sunday 28th September 2014 by Adrian Ng. Rating: A- After releasing a handful of lo-fi pop albums, EPs and singles under the moniker Brown, no one suspected that the Dunedin/Auckland quartet was gearing up fora drastic makeover.
HOROSCOPE | COLUMNS | CRITIC TE AROHI Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Vape juice isn’t a substitute for serotonin. Coping mechanism: Therapy Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Keep having low standards, it’s only up from here. Coping mechanism: Maladaptive daydreaming Aries Mar 21 - Apr TAG SEARCH | CRITIC TE AROHI Period Pain: The best drugs for combatting that time of the month . Posted 12:42am Monday 24th May 2021 by Runze Liu. Period pains, medically referred to as dysmenorrhoea, are annoyingly painful and are an all too real struggle for people who menstruate. THERE WILL BE BLOOD: THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE MESSY OF Most humans swap a lot of bodily fluids to show that we’re attracted to each other, but for some reason we don’t put period blood in that category. There’s a longstanding belief that periods are unclean or gross, with no evidence to back that up. And contrary to what a lot ofARTICLE ARCHIVE
Archive Sexing It up in Shark Week. Posted 6:10pm Thursday 17th May 2018 by Maddie Grant. Considering lesbians probably have this shit down - this one is for the cis heteros who for some reason are still queasy when it comes to periods and sex. CRITIC SAVED AN AUCKLAND UNI STUDENT FROM A “CULT” Unclear if cults respect social distancing. Last week, an Auckland Uni student claimed to have been approached by two girls from Elohim Academy. Elohim Academy is a sub-group of the World Mission Society Church of God (WMSCOG), which is known for its aggressive recruitment strategy, and has been labeled by some as a cult.NUDITY & RUDITY
Nudity & Rudity. After spending some time in a nude sauna in Finland, Kirsty Gordge explores public nudity in New Zealand, asking the big question: Why don’t Kiwis get naked more often? Boobs: perky, droopy, and wrinkled. Nipples: dark, pink and small. Bums: tight,HOW TO FUCK A MOOSE
Remember, there is only one way to thumb-wrestle, and that is to crush your opponent’s entire goddamn fist into a bloody mash of bone and gristle. Train your mind. Train your spirit. Train your flea circus. Visualise moose. Dream moose. For practice, fuck a deer. Moose are kind of like big deer. DUNEDIN’S PUB QUIZZES, RANKED Dog With Two Tails. Dog’s quiz is six rounds of six questions, always finishing with a music round. The questions are homegrown by Jamie Green of Radio 1, so props for keeping it original. It’s a very laid back atmosphere, but you still have to get there an hour early to get a good seat. It feels a bit more like a café than a pub,and you
THE SLINKS: KINGS OF FLAT PARTIES The Slinks: Kings of Flat Parties. The Slinks are an up and coming band on the Dunedin scene. Starting out in 2019, they’ve worked their way up from playing at the humble Crown Hotel to playing gigs as far out of town as Queenstown. They have two EPs out on Spotify: The Slinks and Come On Now.CRITIC TE AROHI
Over the past few weeks, transphobic pamphlets have been appearing on noticeboards around campus. One student has reported the pamphlets to Critic Te Arohi twice. Both times, the pamphlets were put up on the Hunter Centre noticeboard. On May 12 they said “we noticed some rather gross propaganda protesting against the upcoming bill aroundsex
HOROSCOPE | COLUMNS | CRITIC TE AROHI Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Vape juice isn’t a substitute for serotonin. Coping mechanism: Therapy Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Keep having low standards, it’s only up from here. Coping mechanism: Maladaptive daydreaming Aries Mar 21 - Apr HOW TO TAKE MUSHROOMS AND NOT DIE Cut the stem off the mushroom, as close to the cap as possible. Put the cap (top up) on a piece of white paper. Put a glass over the top to keep air away. Leave the cap overnight to let spores drop. The next day, check out the colour of the spore print on the paper. If your mushroom has purple-brown to black spores, AND the flesh turns bluish ROTUMAN LANGUAGE WEEK: TIME TO LEARN ABOUT ROTUMA Rotuma is a group of volcanic islands, made up of Rotuma Island and nearby islets (tiny baby islands), and is a self-governing Fijian dependency. Rotuma Island is 13km long and 4km wide, and is located about 465km North of Fiji. Rotuma is unique from Fiji, but continues to be thoroughly integrated with the rest of Fiji politically,socially
WHAT IS BEHIND NEW ZEALAND’S HIGH SUICIDE RATE? Labour Party Leader Jacinda Ardern said, “every single suicide is simply unacceptable,” and proposed a review into the reasons for this rise in suicide statistics, which she says likely include growing inequality, overstretched health services, increased societal pressures, and population growth. People aged 18-24 are considered anat-risk
HOW TO FUCK A MOOSE
Remember, there is only one way to thumb-wrestle, and that is to crush your opponent’s entire goddamn fist into a bloody mash of bone and gristle. Train your mind. Train your spirit. Train your flea circus. Visualise moose. Dream moose. For practice, fuck a deer. Moose are kind of like big deer. WOODSTOCK IS THE BIGGEST BITCH DRINK IN NEW ZEALAND Woodstock a sick ly sweet syrupy concoction with a harsh aftertaste that I swear can’t be real bourbon. There’s almost as much sugar in a 12 pack of Woodstock 5% as in four litres of Talleys Ice Cream. There’s more sugar per can in these than in Vodka Cruisers, meaning Woodstock wins the honourable title of the biggest Bitch Drink in NewZealand.
LION BROWN IS THE LEAST INTERESTING BEER IN NEW ZEALAND Lion Brown is the oldest and least interesting beer you’ve ever seen. The Brown Bomber has been around since 1907, and despite existing for 111 years, no one ever thought to adjust the recipe to make it taste good. Despite being mediocre as shit and not being anywhere near strong enough toSCIENCE TANK
The thought experiment involves a cat who is placed in a sealed box with a flask of poison, a radioactive source and a radioactivity monitor. If the monitor detects any radioactivity, it will shatter the flask of poison, killing kitty. Quantum mechanics would imply that, after a while, the cat is simultaneously alive and dead - but when thebox
HOW TO TAKE FEET PICS The shot: Composition is the most important part of photography. You can have all the right pieces, but a shit shot will mess the whole thing up. Critic’s photographer Aiman suggests to play with as many different angles as you can, regardless of setting, props, and lighting: every new angle makes for a completely different (but sexy)foot
CRITIC TE AROHI
Over the past few weeks, transphobic pamphlets have been appearing on noticeboards around campus. One student has reported the pamphlets to Critic Te Arohi twice. Both times, the pamphlets were put up on the Hunter Centre noticeboard. On May 12 they said “we noticed some rather gross propaganda protesting against the upcoming bill aroundsex
HOROSCOPE | COLUMNS | CRITIC TE AROHI Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Vape juice isn’t a substitute for serotonin. Coping mechanism: Therapy Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Keep having low standards, it’s only up from here. Coping mechanism: Maladaptive daydreaming Aries Mar 21 - Apr HOW TO TAKE MUSHROOMS AND NOT DIE Cut the stem off the mushroom, as close to the cap as possible. Put the cap (top up) on a piece of white paper. Put a glass over the top to keep air away. Leave the cap overnight to let spores drop. The next day, check out the colour of the spore print on the paper. If your mushroom has purple-brown to black spores, AND the flesh turns bluish ROTUMAN LANGUAGE WEEK: TIME TO LEARN ABOUT ROTUMA Rotuma is a group of volcanic islands, made up of Rotuma Island and nearby islets (tiny baby islands), and is a self-governing Fijian dependency. Rotuma Island is 13km long and 4km wide, and is located about 465km North of Fiji. Rotuma is unique from Fiji, but continues to be thoroughly integrated with the rest of Fiji politically,socially
WHAT IS BEHIND NEW ZEALAND’S HIGH SUICIDE RATE? Labour Party Leader Jacinda Ardern said, “every single suicide is simply unacceptable,” and proposed a review into the reasons for this rise in suicide statistics, which she says likely include growing inequality, overstretched health services, increased societal pressures, and population growth. People aged 18-24 are considered anat-risk
HOW TO FUCK A MOOSE
Remember, there is only one way to thumb-wrestle, and that is to crush your opponent’s entire goddamn fist into a bloody mash of bone and gristle. Train your mind. Train your spirit. Train your flea circus. Visualise moose. Dream moose. For practice, fuck a deer. Moose are kind of like big deer. WOODSTOCK IS THE BIGGEST BITCH DRINK IN NEW ZEALAND Woodstock a sick ly sweet syrupy concoction with a harsh aftertaste that I swear can’t be real bourbon. There’s almost as much sugar in a 12 pack of Woodstock 5% as in four litres of Talleys Ice Cream. There’s more sugar per can in these than in Vodka Cruisers, meaning Woodstock wins the honourable title of the biggest Bitch Drink in NewZealand.
LION BROWN IS THE LEAST INTERESTING BEER IN NEW ZEALAND Lion Brown is the oldest and least interesting beer you’ve ever seen. The Brown Bomber has been around since 1907, and despite existing for 111 years, no one ever thought to adjust the recipe to make it taste good. Despite being mediocre as shit and not being anywhere near strong enough toSCIENCE TANK
The thought experiment involves a cat who is placed in a sealed box with a flask of poison, a radioactive source and a radioactivity monitor. If the monitor detects any radioactivity, it will shatter the flask of poison, killing kitty. Quantum mechanics would imply that, after a while, the cat is simultaneously alive and dead - but when thebox
HOW TO TAKE FEET PICS The shot: Composition is the most important part of photography. You can have all the right pieces, but a shit shot will mess the whole thing up. Critic’s photographer Aiman suggests to play with as many different angles as you can, regardless of setting, props, and lighting: every new angle makes for a completely different (but sexy)foot
MUSIC - NEWS
Music Ha the Unclear - Bacterium, look at your motor go. Posted 2:58pm Sunday 28th September 2014 by Adrian Ng. Rating: A- After releasing a handful of lo-fi pop albums, EPs and singles under the moniker Brown, no one suspected that the Dunedin/Auckland quartet was gearing up fora drastic makeover.
MUSIC - NEWS
Music Recent Releases. Posted 2:32pm Sunday 15th March 2015 by Basti Menkes. Hot Chip “Huarache Lights” London group, Hot Chip, has been carefully honing its TAG SEARCH | CRITIC TE AROHI Clocktower SILENT During Super Duper Blood Moon, Panned for Refusing to Take a Stance. Posted 4:14pm Sunday 30th May 2021 by Alex Leckie-Zaharic. There was trouble in paradise on Wednesday as the clocktower failed to chime for most of the day. TAG SEARCH | CRITIC TE AROHI Period Pain: The best drugs for combatting that time of the month . Posted 12:42am Monday 24th May 2021 by Runze Liu. Period pains, medically referred to as dysmenorrhoea, are annoyingly painful and are an all too real struggle for people who menstruate. WHAT COPING MECHANISM ARE YOU? Your Coping Mechanism: 8 - 12: Oversharing to Strangers. You are known for getting a little too fucked on a Wednesday and justifying your absent relationship with your father to some random in the Pint Night line. Alternatives: Therapy, a sense of self, more vitamins. 13 - 16:Substance Abuse.
THERE WILL BE BLOOD: THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE MESSY OF Most humans swap a lot of bodily fluids to show that we’re attracted to each other, but for some reason we don’t put period blood in that category. There’s a longstanding belief that periods are unclean or gross, with no evidence to back that up. And contrary to what a lot of CRITIC SAVED AN AUCKLAND UNI STUDENT FROM A “CULT” Unclear if cults respect social distancing. Last week, an Auckland Uni student claimed to have been approached by two girls from Elohim Academy. Elohim Academy is a sub-group of the World Mission Society Church of God (WMSCOG), which is known for its aggressive recruitment strategy, and has been labeled by some as a cult.ARTICLE ARCHIVE
Archive Sexing It up in Shark Week. Posted 6:10pm Thursday 17th May 2018 by Maddie Grant. Considering lesbians probably have this shit down - this one is for the cis heteros who for some reason are still queasy when it comes to periods and sex.ARTICLE ARCHIVE
Founded in 1925, Critic is the student magazine of the Otago University Students' Association. Critic is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA). TAG SEARCH | CRITIC TE AROHI Founded in 1925, Critic is the student magazine of the Otago University Students' Association. Critic is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA).CRITIC TE AROHI
Over the past few weeks, transphobic pamphlets have been appearing on noticeboards around campus. One student has reported the pamphlets to Critic Te Arohi twice. Both times, the pamphlets were put up on the Hunter Centre noticeboard. On May 12 they said “we noticed some rather gross propaganda protesting against the upcoming bill aroundsex
HOW TO TAKE MUSHROOMS AND NOT DIE Cut the stem off the mushroom, as close to the cap as possible. Put the cap (top up) on a piece of white paper. Put a glass over the top to keep air away. Leave the cap overnight to let spores drop. The next day, check out the colour of the spore print on the paper. If your mushroom has purple-brown to black spores, AND the flesh turns bluish ROTUMAN LANGUAGE WEEK: TIME TO LEARN ABOUT ROTUMA Rotuma is a group of volcanic islands, made up of Rotuma Island and nearby islets (tiny baby islands), and is a self-governing Fijian dependency. Rotuma Island is 13km long and 4km wide, and is located about 465km North of Fiji. Rotuma is unique from Fiji, but continues to be thoroughly integrated with the rest of Fiji politically,socially
HOW TO: GET YOURSELF OFF Step Two: Become aroused. There are many ways to get yourself hot and heavy. Some people like to watch videos of other people having sex; others like to read poetry, or enjoy a nice cup of tea. For some, having someone stand on your genitals while they are wearing high heels is the answer. Whatever it is that gets you going. HOW TO MAKE THE STRONGEST EDIBLES POSSIBLE 1/4 cup cocoa. 1 cup sugar. 1/2 cup flour. 2 eggs beaten. Melt the butter in a pot. Finely chop the weed, and add it to the melted butter. You want to keep the butter at a simmer (not a boil) to further decarboxylate the weed. You don't want to burn it, so watch the butter and stir often. I like to keep it simmering for around 30minutes.
LION BROWN IS THE LEAST INTERESTING BEER IN NEW ZEALAND Lion Brown is the oldest and least interesting beer you’ve ever seen. The Brown Bomber has been around since 1907, and despite existing for 111 years, no one ever thought to adjust the recipe to make it taste good. Despite being mediocre as shit and not being anywhere near strong enough to WHAT IS BEHIND NEW ZEALAND’S HIGH SUICIDE RATE? Labour Party Leader Jacinda Ardern said, “every single suicide is simply unacceptable,” and proposed a review into the reasons for this rise in suicide statistics, which she says likely include growing inequality, overstretched health services, increased societal pressures, and population growth. People aged 18-24 are considered anat-risk
WOODSTOCK IS THE BIGGEST BITCH DRINK IN NEW ZEALAND Woodstock a sick ly sweet syrupy concoction with a harsh aftertaste that I swear can’t be real bourbon. There’s almost as much sugar in a 12 pack of Woodstock 5% as in four litres of Talleys Ice Cream. There’s more sugar per can in these than in Vodka Cruisers, meaning Woodstock wins the honourable title of the biggest Bitch Drink in NewZealand.
CRITIC BOOZE REVIEWS Bad, bad, bad.”. At $3.99 for a 500ml bottle of 12% ‘beer’, it beats Golden Ratio $1/standard threshold, which is the one thing I will give it credit for. It is incredibly cheap. But that’s about all it has going for it. First of all, it burns. Yes, genuinely burns going down your throat. DUNEDIN’S PUB QUIZZES, RANKEDCRITIC TE AROHI
Over the past few weeks, transphobic pamphlets have been appearing on noticeboards around campus. One student has reported the pamphlets to Critic Te Arohi twice. Both times, the pamphlets were put up on the Hunter Centre noticeboard. On May 12 they said “we noticed some rather gross propaganda protesting against the upcoming bill aroundsex
HOW TO TAKE MUSHROOMS AND NOT DIE Cut the stem off the mushroom, as close to the cap as possible. Put the cap (top up) on a piece of white paper. Put a glass over the top to keep air away. Leave the cap overnight to let spores drop. The next day, check out the colour of the spore print on the paper. If your mushroom has purple-brown to black spores, AND the flesh turns bluish ROTUMAN LANGUAGE WEEK: TIME TO LEARN ABOUT ROTUMA Rotuma is a group of volcanic islands, made up of Rotuma Island and nearby islets (tiny baby islands), and is a self-governing Fijian dependency. Rotuma Island is 13km long and 4km wide, and is located about 465km North of Fiji. Rotuma is unique from Fiji, but continues to be thoroughly integrated with the rest of Fiji politically,socially
HOW TO: GET YOURSELF OFF Step Two: Become aroused. There are many ways to get yourself hot and heavy. Some people like to watch videos of other people having sex; others like to read poetry, or enjoy a nice cup of tea. For some, having someone stand on your genitals while they are wearing high heels is the answer. Whatever it is that gets you going. HOW TO MAKE THE STRONGEST EDIBLES POSSIBLE 1/4 cup cocoa. 1 cup sugar. 1/2 cup flour. 2 eggs beaten. Melt the butter in a pot. Finely chop the weed, and add it to the melted butter. You want to keep the butter at a simmer (not a boil) to further decarboxylate the weed. You don't want to burn it, so watch the butter and stir often. I like to keep it simmering for around 30minutes.
LION BROWN IS THE LEAST INTERESTING BEER IN NEW ZEALAND Lion Brown is the oldest and least interesting beer you’ve ever seen. The Brown Bomber has been around since 1907, and despite existing for 111 years, no one ever thought to adjust the recipe to make it taste good. Despite being mediocre as shit and not being anywhere near strong enough to WHAT IS BEHIND NEW ZEALAND’S HIGH SUICIDE RATE? Labour Party Leader Jacinda Ardern said, “every single suicide is simply unacceptable,” and proposed a review into the reasons for this rise in suicide statistics, which she says likely include growing inequality, overstretched health services, increased societal pressures, and population growth. People aged 18-24 are considered anat-risk
WOODSTOCK IS THE BIGGEST BITCH DRINK IN NEW ZEALAND Woodstock a sick ly sweet syrupy concoction with a harsh aftertaste that I swear can’t be real bourbon. There’s almost as much sugar in a 12 pack of Woodstock 5% as in four litres of Talleys Ice Cream. There’s more sugar per can in these than in Vodka Cruisers, meaning Woodstock wins the honourable title of the biggest Bitch Drink in NewZealand.
CRITIC BOOZE REVIEWS Bad, bad, bad.”. At $3.99 for a 500ml bottle of 12% ‘beer’, it beats Golden Ratio $1/standard threshold, which is the one thing I will give it credit for. It is incredibly cheap. But that’s about all it has going for it. First of all, it burns. Yes, genuinely burns going down your throat. DUNEDIN’S PUB QUIZZES, RANKEDMUSIC - NEWS
Music Ha the Unclear - Bacterium, look at your motor go. Posted 2:58pm Sunday 28th September 2014 by Adrian Ng. Rating: A- After releasing a handful of lo-fi pop albums, EPs and singles under the moniker Brown, no one suspected that the Dunedin/Auckland quartet was gearing up fora drastic makeover.
MUSIC - NEWS
Music Recent Releases. Posted 2:32pm Sunday 15th March 2015 by Basti Menkes. Hot Chip “Huarache Lights” London group, Hot Chip, has been carefully honing its TAG SEARCH | CRITIC TE AROHI Period Pain: The best drugs for combatting that time of the month . Posted 12:42am Monday 24th May 2021 by Runze Liu. Period pains, medically referred to as dysmenorrhoea, are annoyingly painful and are an all too real struggle for people who menstruate. TAG SEARCH | CRITIC TE AROHI Clocktower SILENT During Super Duper Blood Moon, Panned for Refusing to Take a Stance. Posted 4:14pm Sunday 30th May 2021 by Alex Leckie-Zaharic. There was trouble in paradise on Wednesday as the clocktower failed to chime for most of the day. FEES INCREASE FOR INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS DESPITE PROTEST 70 students showed up to the University Council meeting today in protest of raising international student fees, but the University Council voted to raise their fees anyway. The Council will raise the fees in a new way. For international students returning to Otago,their fees will be
CRITIC SAVED AN AUCKLAND UNI STUDENT FROM A “CULT” Unclear if cults respect social distancing. Last week, an Auckland Uni student claimed to have been approached by two girls from Elohim Academy. Elohim Academy is a sub-group of the World Mission Society Church of God (WMSCOG), which is known for its aggressive recruitment strategy, and has been labeled by some as a cult. A REVIEW OF LEE VANDERVIS’S BOOK DCC Councillor Lee Vandervis has recently released a “book” (his words). The full title is The Hitch-hikers Guide to the Mayoralty Part 1: Invaluable for understanding the DCC and reading between the lines of local print-media monopoly. The title is only a fraction of this truly bizarre pamphlet/dossier/magazine.ARTICLE ARCHIVE
Archive Sexing It up in Shark Week. Posted 6:10pm Thursday 17th May 2018 by Maddie Grant. Considering lesbians probably have this shit down - this one is for the cis heteros who for some reason are still queasy when it comes to periods and sex. TAG SEARCH | CRITIC TE AROHI Founded in 1925, Critic is the student magazine of the Otago University Students' Association. Critic is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA).ARTICLE ARCHIVE
Founded in 1925, Critic is the student magazine of the Otago University Students' Association. Critic is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA).CRITIC TE AROHI
Over the past few weeks, transphobic pamphlets have been appearing on noticeboards around campus. One student has reported the pamphlets to Critic Te Arohi twice. Both times, the pamphlets were put up on the Hunter Centre noticeboard. On May 12 they said “we noticed some rather gross propaganda protesting against the upcoming bill aroundsex
HOW TO TAKE MUSHROOMS AND NOT DIE Cut the stem off the mushroom, as close to the cap as possible. Put the cap (top up) on a piece of white paper. Put a glass over the top to keep air away. Leave the cap overnight to let spores drop. The next day, check out the colour of the spore print on the paper. If your mushroom has purple-brown to black spores, AND the flesh turns bluish ROTUMAN LANGUAGE WEEK: TIME TO LEARN ABOUT ROTUMA Rotuma is a group of volcanic islands, made up of Rotuma Island and nearby islets (tiny baby islands), and is a self-governing Fijian dependency. Rotuma Island is 13km long and 4km wide, and is located about 465km North of Fiji. Rotuma is unique from Fiji, but continues to be thoroughly integrated with the rest of Fiji politically,socially
HOW TO: GET YOURSELF OFF Step Two: Become aroused. There are many ways to get yourself hot and heavy. Some people like to watch videos of other people having sex; others like to read poetry, or enjoy a nice cup of tea. For some, having someone stand on your genitals while they are wearing high heels is the answer. Whatever it is that gets you going. HOW TO MAKE THE STRONGEST EDIBLES POSSIBLE 1/4 cup cocoa. 1 cup sugar. 1/2 cup flour. 2 eggs beaten. Melt the butter in a pot. Finely chop the weed, and add it to the melted butter. You want to keep the butter at a simmer (not a boil) to further decarboxylate the weed. You don't want to burn it, so watch the butter and stir often. I like to keep it simmering for around 30minutes.
LION BROWN IS THE LEAST INTERESTING BEER IN NEW ZEALAND Lion Brown is the oldest and least interesting beer you’ve ever seen. The Brown Bomber has been around since 1907, and despite existing for 111 years, no one ever thought to adjust the recipe to make it taste good. Despite being mediocre as shit and not being anywhere near strong enough to WHAT IS BEHIND NEW ZEALAND’S HIGH SUICIDE RATE? Labour Party Leader Jacinda Ardern said, “every single suicide is simply unacceptable,” and proposed a review into the reasons for this rise in suicide statistics, which she says likely include growing inequality, overstretched health services, increased societal pressures, and population growth. People aged 18-24 are considered anat-risk
WOODSTOCK IS THE BIGGEST BITCH DRINK IN NEW ZEALAND Woodstock a sick ly sweet syrupy concoction with a harsh aftertaste that I swear can’t be real bourbon. There’s almost as much sugar in a 12 pack of Woodstock 5% as in four litres of Talleys Ice Cream. There’s more sugar per can in these than in Vodka Cruisers, meaning Woodstock wins the honourable title of the biggest Bitch Drink in NewZealand.
CRITIC BOOZE REVIEWS Bad, bad, bad.”. At $3.99 for a 500ml bottle of 12% ‘beer’, it beats Golden Ratio $1/standard threshold, which is the one thing I will give it credit for. It is incredibly cheap. But that’s about all it has going for it. First of all, it burns. Yes, genuinely burns going down your throat. DUNEDIN’S PUB QUIZZES, RANKEDCRITIC TE AROHI
Over the past few weeks, transphobic pamphlets have been appearing on noticeboards around campus. One student has reported the pamphlets to Critic Te Arohi twice. Both times, the pamphlets were put up on the Hunter Centre noticeboard. On May 12 they said “we noticed some rather gross propaganda protesting against the upcoming bill aroundsex
HOW TO TAKE MUSHROOMS AND NOT DIE Cut the stem off the mushroom, as close to the cap as possible. Put the cap (top up) on a piece of white paper. Put a glass over the top to keep air away. Leave the cap overnight to let spores drop. The next day, check out the colour of the spore print on the paper. If your mushroom has purple-brown to black spores, AND the flesh turns bluish ROTUMAN LANGUAGE WEEK: TIME TO LEARN ABOUT ROTUMA Rotuma is a group of volcanic islands, made up of Rotuma Island and nearby islets (tiny baby islands), and is a self-governing Fijian dependency. Rotuma Island is 13km long and 4km wide, and is located about 465km North of Fiji. Rotuma is unique from Fiji, but continues to be thoroughly integrated with the rest of Fiji politically,socially
HOW TO: GET YOURSELF OFF Step Two: Become aroused. There are many ways to get yourself hot and heavy. Some people like to watch videos of other people having sex; others like to read poetry, or enjoy a nice cup of tea. For some, having someone stand on your genitals while they are wearing high heels is the answer. Whatever it is that gets you going. HOW TO MAKE THE STRONGEST EDIBLES POSSIBLE 1/4 cup cocoa. 1 cup sugar. 1/2 cup flour. 2 eggs beaten. Melt the butter in a pot. Finely chop the weed, and add it to the melted butter. You want to keep the butter at a simmer (not a boil) to further decarboxylate the weed. You don't want to burn it, so watch the butter and stir often. I like to keep it simmering for around 30minutes.
LION BROWN IS THE LEAST INTERESTING BEER IN NEW ZEALAND Lion Brown is the oldest and least interesting beer you’ve ever seen. The Brown Bomber has been around since 1907, and despite existing for 111 years, no one ever thought to adjust the recipe to make it taste good. Despite being mediocre as shit and not being anywhere near strong enough to WHAT IS BEHIND NEW ZEALAND’S HIGH SUICIDE RATE? Labour Party Leader Jacinda Ardern said, “every single suicide is simply unacceptable,” and proposed a review into the reasons for this rise in suicide statistics, which she says likely include growing inequality, overstretched health services, increased societal pressures, and population growth. People aged 18-24 are considered anat-risk
WOODSTOCK IS THE BIGGEST BITCH DRINK IN NEW ZEALAND Woodstock a sick ly sweet syrupy concoction with a harsh aftertaste that I swear can’t be real bourbon. There’s almost as much sugar in a 12 pack of Woodstock 5% as in four litres of Talleys Ice Cream. There’s more sugar per can in these than in Vodka Cruisers, meaning Woodstock wins the honourable title of the biggest Bitch Drink in NewZealand.
CRITIC BOOZE REVIEWS Bad, bad, bad.”. At $3.99 for a 500ml bottle of 12% ‘beer’, it beats Golden Ratio $1/standard threshold, which is the one thing I will give it credit for. It is incredibly cheap. But that’s about all it has going for it. First of all, it burns. Yes, genuinely burns going down your throat. DUNEDIN’S PUB QUIZZES, RANKEDMUSIC - NEWS
Music Ha the Unclear - Bacterium, look at your motor go. Posted 2:58pm Sunday 28th September 2014 by Adrian Ng. Rating: A- After releasing a handful of lo-fi pop albums, EPs and singles under the moniker Brown, no one suspected that the Dunedin/Auckland quartet was gearing up fora drastic makeover.
MUSIC - NEWS
Music Recent Releases. Posted 2:32pm Sunday 15th March 2015 by Basti Menkes. Hot Chip “Huarache Lights” London group, Hot Chip, has been carefully honing its TAG SEARCH | CRITIC TE AROHI Period Pain: The best drugs for combatting that time of the month . Posted 12:42am Monday 24th May 2021 by Runze Liu. Period pains, medically referred to as dysmenorrhoea, are annoyingly painful and are an all too real struggle for people who menstruate. TAG SEARCH | CRITIC TE AROHI Clocktower SILENT During Super Duper Blood Moon, Panned for Refusing to Take a Stance. Posted 4:14pm Sunday 30th May 2021 by Alex Leckie-Zaharic. There was trouble in paradise on Wednesday as the clocktower failed to chime for most of the day. FEES INCREASE FOR INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS DESPITE PROTEST 70 students showed up to the University Council meeting today in protest of raising international student fees, but the University Council voted to raise their fees anyway. The Council will raise the fees in a new way. For international students returning to Otago,their fees will be
CRITIC SAVED AN AUCKLAND UNI STUDENT FROM A “CULT” Unclear if cults respect social distancing. Last week, an Auckland Uni student claimed to have been approached by two girls from Elohim Academy. Elohim Academy is a sub-group of the World Mission Society Church of God (WMSCOG), which is known for its aggressive recruitment strategy, and has been labeled by some as a cult. A REVIEW OF LEE VANDERVIS’S BOOK DCC Councillor Lee Vandervis has recently released a “book” (his words). The full title is The Hitch-hikers Guide to the Mayoralty Part 1: Invaluable for understanding the DCC and reading between the lines of local print-media monopoly. The title is only a fraction of this truly bizarre pamphlet/dossier/magazine.ARTICLE ARCHIVE
Archive Sexing It up in Shark Week. Posted 6:10pm Thursday 17th May 2018 by Maddie Grant. Considering lesbians probably have this shit down - this one is for the cis heteros who for some reason are still queasy when it comes to periods and sex. TAG SEARCH | CRITIC TE AROHI Founded in 1925, Critic is the student magazine of the Otago University Students' Association. Critic is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA).ARTICLE ARCHIVE
Founded in 1925, Critic is the student magazine of the Otago University Students' Association. Critic is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA).Random Archive
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Working in the Sun: Top Jobs to Get Cause Rent’s Still Duein January.
The Ultimate Guide to Pulling an All NighterExclusive
Interviews with the Cats of North Dunedin HOW TO HYPOTHETICALLY CHUCK A HĀNGI PIT IN YOUR FLAT YARD Hāngi is iconic; the food that connects us to our ancestors, the best treat for all. Most importantly, forget your expensive, overhyped ham - Hāngi is the best Christmas dish, prove me wrong. Hāngi, as we all know, takes a huge amount of work. You have to dig a hole, find the perfect rocks, get firewood, peel kumara for what feels like a million years, the list goes on. But digging a hole at home is one thing, getting away with... HOARDERS: THE STORIES BEHIND STUDENT ELECTION STEALS It’s the most wonderful, most polarizing time of 2020. Election season. Every three years, election hoardings from different political parties pop up around Dunedin, displaying the politicians vying for your vote (which you should definitely cast). But North Dunedin is probably not the best place to put up a hoarding, as they become subjected to the same abuse, graffiti, and theft as any other innocent item which exists within this suburb.... LOCAL PRODUCE: L HOTEL Up-and-coming band L Hotel, who formed a powerhouse threesome from previous band the Shitz, have recently been hitting Dunedin stages and blessing our ears with funky covers we all know and love. Critic caught up with bassist and ex-Radio 1 host Dave Borrie after a job interview. He did not get the job. The band describes their formation as rising from the ashes of a band called the Shitz “which some of you may have listened to”.... MOST PREDICTABLE OUSA ELECTION IN YEARS Michaela Waite-Harvey won the OUSA presidency convincingly. The results were announced in the Main Common Room last Thursday. There are five current Exec members continuing on in their roles or taking new positions in the 2021 Exec. Michaela is moving up from Welfare and Equity Representative to become President in 2021. She won with 69.25% of the vote, over contender Sammy Bergen’s 30.75%. “It feels really humbling to be able... EVERYONE ON CAMPUS CAN GET WEED Critic asked 34 students: if your life absolutely depended on it, could you suss weed within the hour? Every single person, bar one, said yes. However, Critic would like to point out that that single “no” could’ve asked any one of the other 33 people in the room. Every single one of them had just indicated that weed was no more than an hour away. We’re pretty sure that if your life was on the line,you’d be...
DAVE FROM MAHARAJAS
Some people say their hero is their mum. Some say Steve Irwin. Personally, I’d go with Dave from Maharajas. The dashing young manager is just as much a superhero as any of the rest. He upholds the law, serves the community, and doesn’t ask for... MOSCATO, ROSÉ, MOSCATO ROSÉ: DO THEY TASTE THE SAME? Dessert wine, you gotta love her. Perfect for a cheeky necking before a night out, or something sweet you can sip while watching...WET ASS PHRESHERS
Last week, a mate and I were peacefully eating curry at Taj Mahal. Two hours later we were drinking alongside a gaggle of well-suited, piss-drunk first years, taking shelter from the midnight rain under a Leith Street bridge. Critic returned to the bridge to... THE CAPPING SHOW LIVES TO SEE ANOTHER AUDIENCE Against all odds, The Capping Show has returned for its 126th year, yeeting the bar for student sketch comedy into the stratosphere. This year’s show, Flatatouille, followed a rat named Remy... EXAMSOFT FLAGGED 80% OF EXAMS FOR REVIEW LAST SEM 6670 out of the 8188 exams conducted on ExamSoft were “flagged for review” in Sem One. ExamSoft was the remote invigilating software used for all of the Health Sci exams and some... OPINION: ALL STUDENTS SHOULD BE ELIGIBLE FOR ANOTHER GRADE BUMP Wednesday 12 August, 2020. A new Covid-19 community cluster is found in Auckland, and New Zealand is faced with the prospect of... THE SINGLE MOST INTERESTING POINT FROM EACH EXEC REPORT The OUSA Exec have to write reports about what they have done in each quarter of the year in order to continue being paid. This is... SCARFIE WEATHER FIRST TO PREDICT SNOWFALL After announcing his departure from campus, Scarfie Weather was back online last Thursday (24 September) with a hot take: “I wouldn’t be surprised if we saw snow on Tuesday down to sea... NEW SCHOLARSHIP MONEY FOR INTERNATIONAL POSTGRADS A new scholarship appeared on the University’s website this week that would provide $10,000 in tuition fees towards one year of study for select international postgrad students. The Otago... STUDENTS STRUGGLING TO FIND EMPLOYMENT Students are struggling to find jobs this summer. This may be related to the oncoming recession. 79.7% of students who responded to Critic’s online survey said that they were finding it...*
NEWS
* Everyone on Campus Can Get Weed * ExamSoft Flagged 80% of Exams for Review... * Jack’s Off: An Exit Interview * Most Predictable OUSA Election in Years * New Scholarship Money for International ... * OPINION: All Students Should be Eligible... * OUSA Gives Club of the Year to the Club ... * Scarfie Weather First to Predict Snowfal... * Students Struggling to Find Employment * The Capping Show Lives to See Another Au... * The Single Most Interesting Point from E... * We Harvested Your Data and Are Selling i...* Wet Ass Phreshers
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CULTURE
* Dave From Maharajas * Hoarders: The Stories Behind Student Ele... * How to Hypothetically Chuck a Hāngi... * Local Produce: L Hotel * Moscato, Rosé, Moscato Rosé: Do They Tas... Founded in 1925, Critic is the student magazine of the Otago University Students' Association. Critic is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA). Disclaimer: the views presented within this publication do not necessarily represent the views of the Editor, Planet Media, or OUSA. Press Council: people with a complaint against a newspaper should first complain in writing to the Editor and then, if not satisfied with the response, complain to the Press Council. Complaints should be addressed to the Secretary, PO Box 10-879 The Terrace, Wellington. Phone: (03) 479 5335. News Desk: (03) 479 5336. For all enquiries or to volunteer, email critic@critic.co.nz. For advertising enquiries call (03) 479 5361 or visit www.planetmedia.co.nz 2020 Critic | Website built by Core Development | Privacy Policy | Terms &Conditions
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