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SPIRITUAL GIFTS
Spiritual Gifts. Pastor Tim. Published: Sep 09,2004. Read Time: 1 min. During the French Revolution, there were three Christians who were sentenced to die by the guillotine. One Christian had the gift of faith, the other had the gift of prophecy, the other had the gift of helps. The Christian with the gift of faith was to be executed first. YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLD WHEN You Know You're Getting Old When. You know you're getting there when Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work. You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been anywhere. Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D. Your children are beginning to look middle-aged. Your mind makes contracts your body EXERCISE | CLEAN JOKES | ENTERTAINMENT Exercise. - I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. - I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. - I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. - The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier. - If you are going to trycross-country
GATED COMMUNITY
Gated Community. Pastor Tim. Published: Nov 29,-0001. Read Time: 1 min. Security and peace of mind were part of the reason we moved to a gated community. Both flew out the window the night I called a local pizza shop for a delivery. "I'd like to order a large pepperoni pizza, please," I said, then gave him the address of our condominium. "We'llHOW HOT IS IT?
Published: Jul 20,2011. Read Time: 1 min. How hot is it? The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground. The trees are whistling for the dogs. The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance. Hot water now comes out of both taps. You can make sun tea instantly. You learn that a seat belt buckle makes apretty
SILLY Q&A | CLEAN JOKES | ENTERTAINMENT Silly Q&A. Pastor Tim. Published: Aug 08,2004. Read Time: 1 min. Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash? He's all right now. How does a spoiled rich girl change a lightbulb? She says, "Daddy, I want a new apartment." What BE CAREFUL FOLLOWING THE CROWD Be Careful Following the Crowd. Another true life story for the Funnies A new missionary recruit went to Venezuela for the first time. He was struggling with the language and didn't understand a whole lot of what was going on. Intending to visit one of the local churches, he got lost, but eventually got back on track and found the place. TEACHERS ABOUT TO RETIRE Teachers About to Retire. You know you're a retiree-to-be when 1. Fellow staff members greet you in the hall with, "Oh! Stop smiling!" 2. You get up to the checkout counter at Borders, and you realize you're buying books you won't need next year. 3. Your file cabinets are getting lighter, and your circular file is getting heavier. GOD'S INDWELLING, THE HOLY SPIRIT God's Indwelling, The Holy Spirit. Published: May 30,2020. Read Time: 1 min. This morning around 11 am, my 12 year old son, Michael, and I stopped at a coffee shop so I could get some coffee. Michael came in with me and spied the Chocolate Oreo brownie. I rarely splurge on treats like this, but since his brother and Dad were away on a scout LITTLE ENCOURAGEMENT Little Encouragement. The minister was shaking everyone's hand while they were leaving the church. An elderly man shook his hand and said, "Reverend, that was the worst sermon I've ever listened to. It was terrible." As the minister stood there dumbfounded, theSPIRITUAL GIFTS
Spiritual Gifts. Pastor Tim. Published: Sep 09,2004. Read Time: 1 min. During the French Revolution, there were three Christians who were sentenced to die by the guillotine. One Christian had the gift of faith, the other had the gift of prophecy, the other had the gift of helps. The Christian with the gift of faith was to be executed first. YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLD WHEN You Know You're Getting Old When. You know you're getting there when Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work. You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been anywhere. Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D. Your children are beginning to look middle-aged. Your mind makes contracts your body EXERCISE | CLEAN JOKES | ENTERTAINMENT Exercise. - I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. - I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. - I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. - The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier. - If you are going to trycross-country
GATED COMMUNITY
Gated Community. Pastor Tim. Published: Nov 29,-0001. Read Time: 1 min. Security and peace of mind were part of the reason we moved to a gated community. Both flew out the window the night I called a local pizza shop for a delivery. "I'd like to order a large pepperoni pizza, please," I said, then gave him the address of our condominium. "We'llHOW HOT IS IT?
Published: Jul 20,2011. Read Time: 1 min. How hot is it? The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground. The trees are whistling for the dogs. The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance. Hot water now comes out of both taps. You can make sun tea instantly. You learn that a seat belt buckle makes apretty
SILLY Q&A | CLEAN JOKES | ENTERTAINMENT Silly Q&A. Pastor Tim. Published: Aug 08,2004. Read Time: 1 min. Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash? He's all right now. How does a spoiled rich girl change a lightbulb? She says, "Daddy, I want a new apartment." What BE CAREFUL FOLLOWING THE CROWD Be Careful Following the Crowd. Another true life story for the Funnies A new missionary recruit went to Venezuela for the first time. He was struggling with the language and didn't understand a whole lot of what was going on. Intending to visit one of the local churches, he got lost, but eventually got back on track and found the place. TEACHERS ABOUT TO RETIRE Teachers About to Retire. You know you're a retiree-to-be when 1. Fellow staff members greet you in the hall with, "Oh! Stop smiling!" 2. You get up to the checkout counter at Borders, and you realize you're buying books you won't need next year. 3. Your file cabinets are getting lighter, and your circular file is getting heavier.CYBERSALT NEWS
Oh look, Chicken Thursday! Grandma Cybersalt and I are wondering if anyone out there would like to help by making the Cleanguote graphics that go out in the Cybersalt Digest? If you are, drop me an email at tim@cybersalt.com. We'll supply the quotes and also the size requirements and otherONE-LINER #1578
A funny one-liner born out of the Covid-19 pandemic of 2020. This one says, My going out clothes have missed me so much; I put them on yesterday and they hugged me so tightly I couldn't move! YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLD WHEN You Know You're Getting Old When. You know you're getting there when Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work. You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been anywhere. Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D. Your children are beginning to look middle-aged. Your mind makes contracts your body PASTORS' GOOD NEWS/BAD NEWS Good News: You baptized seven people today in the river.Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current. Good News: The Women's Guild voted to send you a get-well card.Bad News: The vote passed by 31-30. Good News: The Elder Board accepted your jHOW HOT IS IT?
Published: Jul 20,2011. Read Time: 1 min. How hot is it? The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground. The trees are whistling for the dogs. The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance. Hot water now comes out of both taps. You can make sun tea instantly. You learn that a seat belt buckle makes apretty
REMEMBERING NAMES
Remembering Names. Pastor Tim. Published: Sep 23,2019. Read Time: 1 min. When I was introduced to a couple visiting our congregation, I decided to remember their names by noting they were the same as those of two characters in a popular children's story. After the services I stopped to talk to them, and as they were saying goodbye I teased,SCAVENGER HUNT
A woman answered her front door and saw a little boy holding a list. 'Ma'am,' he explained, 'I'm on a scavenger hunt, and I still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper to earn a dollar.''Wow,' the woman replied. 'Who sent youECUMENICAL FIRE
Read Time: 1 min. During a recent ecumenical gathering, a secretary rushed in shouting, "The building is on fire!" The Methodists gathered in the corner and prayed. The Baptists cried, "Where is the water?" The Quakers quietly praised God for the blessings that fire brings. The Lutherans posted a notice on the door declaring the fire was evil.VICAR'S SURPRISE
Vicar's Surprise. A rich man went to his vicar and said, "I want you and your wife to take a three-month trip to the Holy Land at my expense. When you come back, I'll have a surprise for you". The vicar accepted the offer, and he and his wife went off to the Middle East. Three months later they returned home and were met by the wealthyBAPTIST DOG
The Baptist father wondered and said, "Hmm, I don't know. I've never tried." He then ordered the dog, "Heel." Suddenly the dog leaped onto the father's lap and placed its paw on the man's head and started to pray. "Wait a minute!" exclaimed the Baptist mother, "This dog isn't Baptist! It's Pentecostal!" GOD'S INDWELLING, THE HOLY SPIRIT God's Indwelling, The Holy Spirit. Published: May 30,2020. Read Time: 1 min. This morning around 11 am, my 12 year old son, Michael, and I stopped at a coffee shop so I could get some coffee. Michael came in with me and spied the Chocolate Oreo brownie. I rarely splurge on treats like this, but since his brother and Dad were away on a scout YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLD WHEN You Know You're Getting Old When. You know you're getting there when Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work. You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been anywhere. Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D. Your children are beginning to look middle-aged. Your mind makes contracts your body LITTLE ENCOURAGEMENT Little Encouragement. The minister was shaking everyone's hand while they were leaving the church. An elderly man shook his hand and said, "Reverend, that was the worst sermon I've ever listened to. It was terrible." As the minister stood there dumbfounded, theSPIRITUAL GIFTS
Spiritual Gifts. Pastor Tim. Published: Sep 09,2004. Read Time: 1 min. During the French Revolution, there were three Christians who were sentenced to die by the guillotine. One Christian had the gift of faith, the other had the gift of prophecy, the other had the gift of helps. The Christian with the gift of faith was to be executed first.GATED COMMUNITY
Gated Community. Pastor Tim. Published: Nov 29,-0001. Read Time: 1 min. Security and peace of mind were part of the reason we moved to a gated community. Both flew out the window the night I called a local pizza shop for a delivery. "I'd like to order a large pepperoni pizza, please," I said, then gave him the address of our condominium. "We'll EXERCISE | CLEAN JOKES | ENTERTAINMENT Exercise. - I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. - I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. - I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. - The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier. - If you are going to trycross-country
THIS TOWN IS SO SMALL... This town is so small . . . - The City Jail is called amoeba, because it only has one cell. - Main Street, which is one block long, dead ends in both directions. - The phone book has only one page. - The 7-11 is a 3&1/2 - 5&1/2. - The New Year's baby was born in October. TEACHERS ABOUT TO RETIRE Teachers About to Retire. You know you're a retiree-to-be when 1. Fellow staff members greet you in the hall with, "Oh! Stop smiling!" 2. You get up to the checkout counter at Borders, and you realize you're buying books you won't need next year. 3. Your file cabinets are getting lighter, and your circular file is getting heavier. MORE CHURCH BULLETIN HUMOR *More Church Bulletin Humor* Sermon Outline: I. Delineate your fear II. Disown your fear III. Displace your rear - Next Friday we will be serving hot gods for lunch. - If you would like to make a donation, fill out a form, enclose a check and drip in the collectionRAINY WEATHER HUMOR
Rainy Weather Humor. Pastor Tim. Published: May 10,2005. Read Time: 1 min. Nothing personal against Seattlites - change it to any other place getting a lot of rain. ------------------. A newcomer to Seattle arrives on a rainy day. She gets up the next day and it's raining. It also rains the day after that, and the day after that. GOD'S INDWELLING, THE HOLY SPIRIT God's Indwelling, The Holy Spirit. Published: May 30,2020. Read Time: 1 min. This morning around 11 am, my 12 year old son, Michael, and I stopped at a coffee shop so I could get some coffee. Michael came in with me and spied the Chocolate Oreo brownie. I rarely splurge on treats like this, but since his brother and Dad were away on a scout YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLD WHEN You Know You're Getting Old When. You know you're getting there when Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work. You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been anywhere. Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D. Your children are beginning to look middle-aged. Your mind makes contracts your body LITTLE ENCOURAGEMENT Little Encouragement. The minister was shaking everyone's hand while they were leaving the church. An elderly man shook his hand and said, "Reverend, that was the worst sermon I've ever listened to. It was terrible." As the minister stood there dumbfounded, theSPIRITUAL GIFTS
Spiritual Gifts. Pastor Tim. Published: Sep 09,2004. Read Time: 1 min. During the French Revolution, there were three Christians who were sentenced to die by the guillotine. One Christian had the gift of faith, the other had the gift of prophecy, the other had the gift of helps. The Christian with the gift of faith was to be executed first.GATED COMMUNITY
Gated Community. Pastor Tim. Published: Nov 29,-0001. Read Time: 1 min. Security and peace of mind were part of the reason we moved to a gated community. Both flew out the window the night I called a local pizza shop for a delivery. "I'd like to order a large pepperoni pizza, please," I said, then gave him the address of our condominium. "We'll EXERCISE | CLEAN JOKES | ENTERTAINMENT Exercise. - I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. - I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. - I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. - The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier. - If you are going to trycross-country
THIS TOWN IS SO SMALL... This town is so small . . . - The City Jail is called amoeba, because it only has one cell. - Main Street, which is one block long, dead ends in both directions. - The phone book has only one page. - The 7-11 is a 3&1/2 - 5&1/2. - The New Year's baby was born in October. TEACHERS ABOUT TO RETIRE Teachers About to Retire. You know you're a retiree-to-be when 1. Fellow staff members greet you in the hall with, "Oh! Stop smiling!" 2. You get up to the checkout counter at Borders, and you realize you're buying books you won't need next year. 3. Your file cabinets are getting lighter, and your circular file is getting heavier. MORE CHURCH BULLETIN HUMOR *More Church Bulletin Humor* Sermon Outline: I. Delineate your fear II. Disown your fear III. Displace your rear - Next Friday we will be serving hot gods for lunch. - If you would like to make a donation, fill out a form, enclose a check and drip in the collectionRAINY WEATHER HUMOR
Rainy Weather Humor. Pastor Tim. Published: May 10,2005. Read Time: 1 min. Nothing personal against Seattlites - change it to any other place getting a lot of rain. ------------------. A newcomer to Seattle arrives on a rainy day. She gets up the next day and it's raining. It also rains the day after that, and the day after that.HOME
The Story of "Chicken Thursday". Susan Davis. Published: Jul 19,2011. “Chicken Thursday” has been driving some Cybersalt Digest subscribers around the bend wondering what it refers to. As promised, here is the explanation of what “Chicken Thursday” means. This story begins way back in 2010 when Tim and I began watching “’TilDebt Do
CYBERSALT NEWS
Oh look, Chicken Thursday! Grandma Cybersalt and I are wondering if anyone out there would like to help by making the Cleanguote graphics that go out in the Cybersalt Digest? If you are, drop me an email at tim@cybersalt.com. We'll supply the quotes and also the size requirements and other GOD'S INDWELLING, THE HOLY SPIRIT God's Indwelling, The Holy Spirit. Published: May 30,2020. Read Time: 1 min. This morning around 11 am, my 12 year old son, Michael, and I stopped at a coffee shop so I could get some coffee. Michael came in with me and spied the Chocolate Oreo brownie. I rarely splurge on treats like this, but since his brother and Dad were away on a scout PASTORS' GOOD NEWS/BAD NEWS Good News: You baptized seven people today in the river.Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current. Good News: The Women's Guild voted to send you a get-well card.Bad News: The vote passed by 31-30. Good News: The Elder Board accepted your jHOW HOT IS IT?
Published: Jul 20,2011. Read Time: 1 min. How hot is it? The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground. The trees are whistling for the dogs. The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance. Hot water now comes out of both taps. You can make sun tea instantly. You learn that a seat belt buckle makes apretty
THIS TOWN IS SO SMALL... This town is so small . . . - The City Jail is called amoeba, because it only has one cell. - Main Street, which is one block long, dead ends in both directions. - The phone book has only one page. - The 7-11 is a 3&1/2 - 5&1/2. - The New Year's baby was born in October. MORE CHURCH BULLETIN HUMOR *More Church Bulletin Humor* Sermon Outline: I. Delineate your fear II. Disown your fear III. Displace your rear - Next Friday we will be serving hot gods for lunch. - If you would like to make a donation, fill out a form, enclose a check and drip in the collectionRAINY WEATHER HUMOR
Rainy Weather Humor. Pastor Tim. Published: May 10,2005. Read Time: 1 min. Nothing personal against Seattlites - change it to any other place getting a lot of rain. ------------------. A newcomer to Seattle arrives on a rainy day. She gets up the next day and it's raining. It also rains the day after that, and the day after that. DAYVORCE | CLEAN JOKES | ENTERTAINMENT A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce.The attorney asked, "May I help you?"The farmer said, "Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorce's."The attorney said, "Well do you have any grounds?"The farmer said, "Yea, I got about 140 acres."The attorney said, "No, you YOU MIGHT BE A PASTOR IF... You Might be a Pastor If ~ You've waded in a creek wearing a necktie. ~ You've ever dreamed you were preaching only to waken and discover that you were. ~ You'd rather negotiate with terrorists than the church organist. ~ You see a picnic as no picnic. ~ You've ever wanted to fire the church and form a congregation search committee. GOD'S INDWELLING, THE HOLY SPIRIT God's Indwelling, The Holy Spirit. Published: May 30,2020. Read Time: 1 min. This morning around 11 am, my 12 year old son, Michael, and I stopped at a coffee shop so I could get some coffee. Michael came in with me and spied the Chocolate Oreo brownie. I rarely splurge on treats like this, but since his brother and Dad were away on a scout LITTLE ENCOURAGEMENT Little Encouragement. The minister was shaking everyone's hand while they were leaving the church. An elderly man shook his hand and said, "Reverend, that was the worst sermon I've ever listened to. It was terrible." As the minister stood there dumbfounded, the EXERCISE | CLEAN JOKES | ENTERTAINMENT Exercise. - I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. - I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. - I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. - The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier. - If you are going to trycross-country
SPIRITUAL GIFTS
Spiritual Gifts. Pastor Tim. Published: Sep 09,2004. Read Time: 1 min. During the French Revolution, there were three Christians who were sentenced to die by the guillotine. One Christian had the gift of faith, the other had the gift of prophecy, the other had the gift of helps. The Christian with the gift of faith was to be executed first.GATED COMMUNITY
Gated Community. Pastor Tim. Published: Nov 29,-0001. Read Time: 1 min. Security and peace of mind were part of the reason we moved to a gated community. Both flew out the window the night I called a local pizza shop for a delivery. "I'd like to order a large pepperoni pizza, please," I said, then gave him the address of our condominium. "We'll THIS TOWN IS SO SMALL... This town is so small . . . - The City Jail is called amoeba, because it only has one cell. - Main Street, which is one block long, dead ends in both directions. - The phone book has only one page. - The 7-11 is a 3&1/2 - 5&1/2. - The New Year's baby was born in October. YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLD WHEN You Know You're Getting Old When. You know you're getting there when Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work. You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been anywhere. Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D. Your children are beginning to look middle-aged. Your mind makes contracts your body TEACHERS ABOUT TO RETIRE Teachers About to Retire. You know you're a retiree-to-be when 1. Fellow staff members greet you in the hall with, "Oh! Stop smiling!" 2. You get up to the checkout counter at Borders, and you realize you're buying books you won't need next year. 3. Your file cabinets are getting lighter, and your circular file is getting heavier. MORE CHURCH BULLETIN HUMOR *More Church Bulletin Humor* Sermon Outline: I. Delineate your fear II. Disown your fear III. Displace your rear - Next Friday we will be serving hot gods for lunch. - If you would like to make a donation, fill out a form, enclose a check and drip in the collection BE CAREFUL FOLLOWING THE CROWD Be Careful Following the Crowd. Another true life story for the Funnies A new missionary recruit went to Venezuela for the first time. He was struggling with the language and didn't understand a whole lot of what was going on. Intending to visit one of the local churches, he got lost, but eventually got back on track and found the place. GOD'S INDWELLING, THE HOLY SPIRIT God's Indwelling, The Holy Spirit. Published: May 30,2020. Read Time: 1 min. This morning around 11 am, my 12 year old son, Michael, and I stopped at a coffee shop so I could get some coffee. Michael came in with me and spied the Chocolate Oreo brownie. I rarely splurge on treats like this, but since his brother and Dad were away on a scout LITTLE ENCOURAGEMENT Little Encouragement. The minister was shaking everyone's hand while they were leaving the church. An elderly man shook his hand and said, "Reverend, that was the worst sermon I've ever listened to. It was terrible." As the minister stood there dumbfounded, the EXERCISE | CLEAN JOKES | ENTERTAINMENT Exercise. - I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. - I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. - I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. - The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier. - If you are going to trycross-country
SPIRITUAL GIFTS
Spiritual Gifts. Pastor Tim. Published: Sep 09,2004. Read Time: 1 min. During the French Revolution, there were three Christians who were sentenced to die by the guillotine. One Christian had the gift of faith, the other had the gift of prophecy, the other had the gift of helps. The Christian with the gift of faith was to be executed first.GATED COMMUNITY
Gated Community. Pastor Tim. Published: Nov 29,-0001. Read Time: 1 min. Security and peace of mind were part of the reason we moved to a gated community. Both flew out the window the night I called a local pizza shop for a delivery. "I'd like to order a large pepperoni pizza, please," I said, then gave him the address of our condominium. "We'll THIS TOWN IS SO SMALL... This town is so small . . . - The City Jail is called amoeba, because it only has one cell. - Main Street, which is one block long, dead ends in both directions. - The phone book has only one page. - The 7-11 is a 3&1/2 - 5&1/2. - The New Year's baby was born in October. YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLD WHEN You Know You're Getting Old When. You know you're getting there when Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work. You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been anywhere. Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D. Your children are beginning to look middle-aged. Your mind makes contracts your body TEACHERS ABOUT TO RETIRE Teachers About to Retire. You know you're a retiree-to-be when 1. Fellow staff members greet you in the hall with, "Oh! Stop smiling!" 2. You get up to the checkout counter at Borders, and you realize you're buying books you won't need next year. 3. Your file cabinets are getting lighter, and your circular file is getting heavier. MORE CHURCH BULLETIN HUMOR *More Church Bulletin Humor* Sermon Outline: I. Delineate your fear II. Disown your fear III. Displace your rear - Next Friday we will be serving hot gods for lunch. - If you would like to make a donation, fill out a form, enclose a check and drip in the collection BE CAREFUL FOLLOWING THE CROWD Be Careful Following the Crowd. Another true life story for the Funnies A new missionary recruit went to Venezuela for the first time. He was struggling with the language and didn't understand a whole lot of what was going on. Intending to visit one of the local churches, he got lost, but eventually got back on track and found the place.HOME
The Story of "Chicken Thursday". Susan Davis. Published: Jul 19,2011. “Chicken Thursday” has been driving some Cybersalt Digest subscribers around the bend wondering what it refers to. As promised, here is the explanation of what “Chicken Thursday” means. This story begins way back in 2010 when Tim and I began watching “’TilDebt Do
GOD'S INDWELLING, THE HOLY SPIRIT God's Indwelling, The Holy Spirit. Published: May 30,2020. Read Time: 1 min. This morning around 11 am, my 12 year old son, Michael, and I stopped at a coffee shop so I could get some coffee. Michael came in with me and spied the Chocolate Oreo brownie. I rarely splurge on treats like this, but since his brother and Dad were away on a scout THIS TOWN IS SO SMALL... This town is so small . . . - The City Jail is called amoeba, because it only has one cell. - Main Street, which is one block long, dead ends in both directions. - The phone book has only one page. - The 7-11 is a 3&1/2 - 5&1/2. - The New Year's baby was born in October.HOW HOT IS IT?
Published: Jul 20,2011. Read Time: 1 min. How hot is it? The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground. The trees are whistling for the dogs. The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance. Hot water now comes out of both taps. You can make sun tea instantly. You learn that a seat belt buckle makes apretty
YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLD WHEN You Know You're Getting Old When. You know you're getting there when Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work. You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been anywhere. Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D. Your children are beginning to look middle-aged. Your mind makes contracts your body PASTORS' GOOD NEWS/BAD NEWS Good News: You baptized seven people today in the river.Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current. Good News: The Women's Guild voted to send you a get-well card.Bad News: The vote passed by 31-30. Good News: The Elder Board accepted your j MORE CHURCH BULLETIN HUMOR *More Church Bulletin Humor* Sermon Outline: I. Delineate your fear II. Disown your fear III. Displace your rear - Next Friday we will be serving hot gods for lunch. - If you would like to make a donation, fill out a form, enclose a check and drip in the collection DAYVORCE | CLEAN JOKES | ENTERTAINMENT A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce.The attorney asked, "May I help you?"The farmer said, "Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorce's."The attorney said, "Well do you have any grounds?"The farmer said, "Yea, I got about 140 acres."The attorney said, "No, youBAPTIST DOG
The Baptist father wondered and said, "Hmm, I don't know. I've never tried." He then ordered the dog, "Heel." Suddenly the dog leaped onto the father's lap and placed its paw on the man's head and started to pray. "Wait a minute!" exclaimed the Baptist mother, "This dog isn't Baptist! It's Pentecostal!" YOU MIGHT BE A PASTOR IF... You Might be a Pastor If ~ You've waded in a creek wearing a necktie. ~ You've ever dreamed you were preaching only to waken and discover that you were. ~ You'd rather negotiate with terrorists than the church organist. ~ You see a picnic as no picnic. ~ You've ever wanted to fire the church and form a congregation search committee. GOD'S INDWELLING, THE HOLY SPIRIT God's Indwelling, The Holy Spirit. Published: May 30,2020. Read Time: 1 min. This morning around 11 am, my 12 year old son, Michael, and I stopped at a coffee shop so I could get some coffee. Michael came in with me and spied the Chocolate Oreo brownie. I rarely splurge on treats like this, but since his brother and Dad were away on a scout LITTLE ENCOURAGEMENT Little Encouragement. The minister was shaking everyone's hand while they were leaving the church. An elderly man shook his hand and said, "Reverend, that was the worst sermon I've ever listened to. It was terrible." As the minister stood there dumbfounded, the EXERCISE | CLEAN JOKES | ENTERTAINMENT Exercise. - I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. - I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. - I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. - The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier. - If you are going to trycross-country
SPIRITUAL GIFTS
Spiritual Gifts. Pastor Tim. Published: Sep 09,2004. Read Time: 1 min. During the French Revolution, there were three Christians who were sentenced to die by the guillotine. One Christian had the gift of faith, the other had the gift of prophecy, the other had the gift of helps. The Christian with the gift of faith was to be executed first.GATED COMMUNITY
Gated Community. Pastor Tim. Published: Nov 29,-0001. Read Time: 1 min. Security and peace of mind were part of the reason we moved to a gated community. Both flew out the window the night I called a local pizza shop for a delivery. "I'd like to order a large pepperoni pizza, please," I said, then gave him the address of our condominium. "We'll THIS TOWN IS SO SMALL... This town is so small . . . - The City Jail is called amoeba, because it only has one cell. - Main Street, which is one block long, dead ends in both directions. - The phone book has only one page. - The 7-11 is a 3&1/2 - 5&1/2. - The New Year's baby was born in October. YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLD WHEN You Know You're Getting Old When. You know you're getting there when Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work. You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been anywhere. Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D. Your children are beginning to look middle-aged. Your mind makes contracts your body TEACHERS ABOUT TO RETIRE Teachers About to Retire. You know you're a retiree-to-be when 1. Fellow staff members greet you in the hall with, "Oh! Stop smiling!" 2. You get up to the checkout counter at Borders, and you realize you're buying books you won't need next year. 3. Your file cabinets are getting lighter, and your circular file is getting heavier. MORE CHURCH BULLETIN HUMOR *More Church Bulletin Humor* Sermon Outline: I. Delineate your fear II. Disown your fear III. Displace your rear - Next Friday we will be serving hot gods for lunch. - If you would like to make a donation, fill out a form, enclose a check and drip in the collection BE CAREFUL FOLLOWING THE CROWD Be Careful Following the Crowd. Another true life story for the Funnies A new missionary recruit went to Venezuela for the first time. He was struggling with the language and didn't understand a whole lot of what was going on. Intending to visit one of the local churches, he got lost, but eventually got back on track and found the place. GOD'S INDWELLING, THE HOLY SPIRIT God's Indwelling, The Holy Spirit. Published: May 30,2020. Read Time: 1 min. This morning around 11 am, my 12 year old son, Michael, and I stopped at a coffee shop so I could get some coffee. Michael came in with me and spied the Chocolate Oreo brownie. I rarely splurge on treats like this, but since his brother and Dad were away on a scout LITTLE ENCOURAGEMENT Little Encouragement. The minister was shaking everyone's hand while they were leaving the church. An elderly man shook his hand and said, "Reverend, that was the worst sermon I've ever listened to. It was terrible." As the minister stood there dumbfounded, the EXERCISE | CLEAN JOKES | ENTERTAINMENT Exercise. - I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. - I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. - I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. - The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier. - If you are going to trycross-country
SPIRITUAL GIFTS
Spiritual Gifts. Pastor Tim. Published: Sep 09,2004. Read Time: 1 min. During the French Revolution, there were three Christians who were sentenced to die by the guillotine. One Christian had the gift of faith, the other had the gift of prophecy, the other had the gift of helps. The Christian with the gift of faith was to be executed first.GATED COMMUNITY
Gated Community. Pastor Tim. Published: Nov 29,-0001. Read Time: 1 min. Security and peace of mind were part of the reason we moved to a gated community. Both flew out the window the night I called a local pizza shop for a delivery. "I'd like to order a large pepperoni pizza, please," I said, then gave him the address of our condominium. "We'll THIS TOWN IS SO SMALL... This town is so small . . . - The City Jail is called amoeba, because it only has one cell. - Main Street, which is one block long, dead ends in both directions. - The phone book has only one page. - The 7-11 is a 3&1/2 - 5&1/2. - The New Year's baby was born in October. YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLD WHEN You Know You're Getting Old When. You know you're getting there when Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work. You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been anywhere. Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D. Your children are beginning to look middle-aged. Your mind makes contracts your body TEACHERS ABOUT TO RETIRE Teachers About to Retire. You know you're a retiree-to-be when 1. Fellow staff members greet you in the hall with, "Oh! Stop smiling!" 2. You get up to the checkout counter at Borders, and you realize you're buying books you won't need next year. 3. Your file cabinets are getting lighter, and your circular file is getting heavier. MORE CHURCH BULLETIN HUMOR *More Church Bulletin Humor* Sermon Outline: I. Delineate your fear II. Disown your fear III. Displace your rear - Next Friday we will be serving hot gods for lunch. - If you would like to make a donation, fill out a form, enclose a check and drip in the collection BE CAREFUL FOLLOWING THE CROWD Be Careful Following the Crowd. Another true life story for the Funnies A new missionary recruit went to Venezuela for the first time. He was struggling with the language and didn't understand a whole lot of what was going on. Intending to visit one of the local churches, he got lost, but eventually got back on track and found the place.HOME
The Story of "Chicken Thursday". Susan Davis. Published: Jul 19,2011. “Chicken Thursday” has been driving some Cybersalt Digest subscribers around the bend wondering what it refers to. As promised, here is the explanation of what “Chicken Thursday” means. This story begins way back in 2010 when Tim and I began watching “’TilDebt Do
GOD'S INDWELLING, THE HOLY SPIRIT God's Indwelling, The Holy Spirit. Published: May 30,2020. Read Time: 1 min. This morning around 11 am, my 12 year old son, Michael, and I stopped at a coffee shop so I could get some coffee. Michael came in with me and spied the Chocolate Oreo brownie. I rarely splurge on treats like this, but since his brother and Dad were away on a scout THIS TOWN IS SO SMALL... This town is so small . . . - The City Jail is called amoeba, because it only has one cell. - Main Street, which is one block long, dead ends in both directions. - The phone book has only one page. - The 7-11 is a 3&1/2 - 5&1/2. - The New Year's baby was born in October.HOW HOT IS IT?
Published: Jul 20,2011. Read Time: 1 min. How hot is it? The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground. The trees are whistling for the dogs. The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance. Hot water now comes out of both taps. You can make sun tea instantly. You learn that a seat belt buckle makes apretty
YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLD WHEN You Know You're Getting Old When. You know you're getting there when Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work. You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been anywhere. Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D. Your children are beginning to look middle-aged. Your mind makes contracts your body PASTORS' GOOD NEWS/BAD NEWS Good News: You baptized seven people today in the river.Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current. Good News: The Women's Guild voted to send you a get-well card.Bad News: The vote passed by 31-30. Good News: The Elder Board accepted your j MORE CHURCH BULLETIN HUMOR *More Church Bulletin Humor* Sermon Outline: I. Delineate your fear II. Disown your fear III. Displace your rear - Next Friday we will be serving hot gods for lunch. - If you would like to make a donation, fill out a form, enclose a check and drip in the collection DAYVORCE | CLEAN JOKES | ENTERTAINMENT A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce.The attorney asked, "May I help you?"The farmer said, "Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorce's."The attorney said, "Well do you have any grounds?"The farmer said, "Yea, I got about 140 acres."The attorney said, "No, youBAPTIST DOG
The Baptist father wondered and said, "Hmm, I don't know. I've never tried." He then ordered the dog, "Heel." Suddenly the dog leaped onto the father's lap and placed its paw on the man's head and started to pray. "Wait a minute!" exclaimed the Baptist mother, "This dog isn't Baptist! It's Pentecostal!" YOU MIGHT BE A PASTOR IF... You Might be a Pastor If ~ You've waded in a creek wearing a necktie. ~ You've ever dreamed you were preaching only to waken and discover that you were. ~ You'd rather negotiate with terrorists than the church organist. ~ You see a picnic as no picnic. ~ You've ever wanted to fire the church and form a congregation search committee. LITTLE ENCOURAGEMENT Little Encouragement. The minister was shaking everyone's hand while they were leaving the church. An elderly man shook his hand and said, "Reverend, that was the worst sermon I've ever listened to. It was terrible." As the minister stood there dumbfounded, the SILLY Q&A | CLEAN JOKES | ENTERTAINMENT Silly Q&A. Pastor Tim. Published: Aug 08,2004. Read Time: 1 min. Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash? He's all right now. How does a spoiled rich girl change a lightbulb? She says, "Daddy, I want a new apartment." WhatSPIRITUAL GIFTS
Spiritual Gifts. Pastor Tim. Published: Sep 09,2004. Read Time: 1 min. During the French Revolution, there were three Christians who were sentenced to die by the guillotine. One Christian had the gift of faith, the other had the gift of prophecy, the other had the gift of helps. The Christian with the gift of faith was to be executed first. EXERCISE | CLEAN JOKES | ENTERTAINMENTEXERCISE JOKES HUMORSHORT CLEAN JOKES FOR SENIORSEXERCISE JOKES FOR KIDSFUNNY GYM JOKESEXERCISE JOKES ONE LINERSEXERCISE JOKES FOR SENIORS Exercise. - I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. - I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. - I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. - The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier. - If you are going to trycross-country
NUMBERS | BACKPEW | CARTOONS | ENTERTAINMENT The book of Numbers is honestly at times a tedious book to read, BUT important as it chronicles God's faithfulness to an often ungrateful people of Israel. Due to their rebellious nature a 9 day journey to the promised land took 38 YEARS. CENSUS: The book of Numbers startsout
GATED COMMUNITY
Gated Community. Pastor Tim. Published: Nov 29,-0001. Read Time: 1 min. Security and peace of mind were part of the reason we moved to a gated community. Both flew out the window the night I called a local pizza shop for a delivery. "I'd like to order a large pepperoni pizza, please," I said, then gave him the address of our condominium. "We'llFOUR LETTER WORDS
A joke about a new bride who comes home after the honeymoon and is appalled at the language coming out of her new husband's mouth. So many 4-letter words. She begs her mother to come get her because she simply cannot bear the language. When her mom presses to BE CAREFUL FOLLOWING THE CROWD Be Careful Following the Crowd. Another true life story for the Funnies A new missionary recruit went to Venezuela for the first time. He was struggling with the language and didn't understand a whole lot of what was going on. Intending to visit one of the local churches, he got lost, but eventually got back on track and found the place. BRICKLAYER'S INSURANCE CLAIM Bricklayer's Insurance Claim. Pastor Tim. Published: Mar 27,2005. Read Time: 1 min. I am writing in response to your request for additional information. In block number three of the accident reporting form, I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more and I trust that the followingECUMENICAL FIRE
Read Time: 1 min. During a recent ecumenical gathering, a secretary rushed in shouting, "The building is on fire!" The Methodists gathered in the corner and prayed. The Baptists cried, "Where is the water?" The Quakers quietly praised God for the blessings that fire brings. The Lutherans posted a notice on the door declaring the fire was evil. LITTLE ENCOURAGEMENT Little Encouragement. The minister was shaking everyone's hand while they were leaving the church. An elderly man shook his hand and said, "Reverend, that was the worst sermon I've ever listened to. It was terrible." As the minister stood there dumbfounded, the SILLY Q&A | CLEAN JOKES | ENTERTAINMENT Silly Q&A. Pastor Tim. Published: Aug 08,2004. Read Time: 1 min. Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash? He's all right now. How does a spoiled rich girl change a lightbulb? She says, "Daddy, I want a new apartment." WhatSPIRITUAL GIFTS
Spiritual Gifts. Pastor Tim. Published: Sep 09,2004. Read Time: 1 min. During the French Revolution, there were three Christians who were sentenced to die by the guillotine. One Christian had the gift of faith, the other had the gift of prophecy, the other had the gift of helps. The Christian with the gift of faith was to be executed first. EXERCISE | CLEAN JOKES | ENTERTAINMENTEXERCISE JOKES HUMORSHORT CLEAN JOKES FOR SENIORSEXERCISE JOKES FOR KIDSFUNNY GYM JOKESEXERCISE JOKES ONE LINERSEXERCISE JOKES FOR SENIORS Exercise. - I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. - I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. - I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. - The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier. - If you are going to trycross-country
NUMBERS | BACKPEW | CARTOONS | ENTERTAINMENT The book of Numbers is honestly at times a tedious book to read, BUT important as it chronicles God's faithfulness to an often ungrateful people of Israel. Due to their rebellious nature a 9 day journey to the promised land took 38 YEARS. CENSUS: The book of Numbers startsout
GATED COMMUNITY
Gated Community. Pastor Tim. Published: Nov 29,-0001. Read Time: 1 min. Security and peace of mind were part of the reason we moved to a gated community. Both flew out the window the night I called a local pizza shop for a delivery. "I'd like to order a large pepperoni pizza, please," I said, then gave him the address of our condominium. "We'llFOUR LETTER WORDS
A joke about a new bride who comes home after the honeymoon and is appalled at the language coming out of her new husband's mouth. So many 4-letter words. She begs her mother to come get her because she simply cannot bear the language. When her mom presses to BE CAREFUL FOLLOWING THE CROWD Be Careful Following the Crowd. Another true life story for the Funnies A new missionary recruit went to Venezuela for the first time. He was struggling with the language and didn't understand a whole lot of what was going on. Intending to visit one of the local churches, he got lost, but eventually got back on track and found the place. BRICKLAYER'S INSURANCE CLAIM Bricklayer's Insurance Claim. Pastor Tim. Published: Mar 27,2005. Read Time: 1 min. I am writing in response to your request for additional information. In block number three of the accident reporting form, I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more and I trust that the followingECUMENICAL FIRE
Read Time: 1 min. During a recent ecumenical gathering, a secretary rushed in shouting, "The building is on fire!" The Methodists gathered in the corner and prayed. The Baptists cried, "Where is the water?" The Quakers quietly praised God for the blessings that fire brings. The Lutherans posted a notice on the door declaring the fire was evil. YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLD WHEN You Know You're Getting Old When. You know you're getting there when Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work. You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been anywhere. Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D. Your children are beginning to look middle-aged. Your mind makes contracts your bodyHOW HOT IS IT?
Published: Jul 20,2011. Read Time: 1 min. How hot is it? The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground. The trees are whistling for the dogs. The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance. Hot water now comes out of both taps. You can make sun tea instantly. You learn that a seat belt buckle makes apretty
GATED COMMUNITY
Gated Community. Pastor Tim. Published: Nov 29,-0001. Read Time: 1 min. Security and peace of mind were part of the reason we moved to a gated community. Both flew out the window the night I called a local pizza shop for a delivery. "I'd like to order a large pepperoni pizza, please," I said, then gave him the address of our condominium. "We'll THIS TOWN IS SO SMALL... This town is so small . . . - The City Jail is called amoeba, because it only has one cell. - Main Street, which is one block long, dead ends in both directions. - The phone book has only one page. - The 7-11 is a 3&1/2 - 5&1/2. - The New Year's baby was born in October. TEACHERS ABOUT TO RETIRE Teachers About to Retire. You know you're a retiree-to-be when 1. Fellow staff members greet you in the hall with, "Oh! Stop smiling!" 2. You get up to the checkout counter at Borders, and you realize you're buying books you won't need next year. 3. Your file cabinets are getting lighter, and your circular file is getting heavier.VICAR'S SURPRISE
Vicar's Surprise. A rich man went to his vicar and said, "I want you and your wife to take a three-month trip to the Holy Land at my expense. When you come back, I'll have a surprise for you". The vicar accepted the offer, and he and his wife went off to the Middle East. Three months later they returned home and were met by the wealthyRAINY WEATHER HUMOR
Rainy Weather Humor. Pastor Tim. Published: May 10,2005. Read Time: 1 min. Nothing personal against Seattlites - change it to any other place getting a lot of rain. ------------------. A newcomer to Seattle arrives on a rainy day. She gets up the next day and it's raining. It also rains the day after that, and the day after that.AND THEN THEY VOTED
And Then They Voted. Pastor Tim. Published: Nov 09,2010. Read Time: 1 min. While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise inBAPTIST DOG
The Baptist father wondered and said, "Hmm, I don't know. I've never tried." He then ordered the dog, "Heel." Suddenly the dog leaped onto the father's lap and placed its paw on the man's head and started to pray. "Wait a minute!" exclaimed the Baptist mother, "This dog isn't Baptist! It's Pentecostal!"ENTERTAINMENT
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get. SILLY Q&A | CLEAN JOKES | ENTERTAINMENT Aug 09, 2004 · Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?He's all right now. How does a spoiled rich girl change a lightbulb?She says, 'Daddy, I want a new apartment.' What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?Polaroids. What doprisoners
LITTLE ENCOURAGEMENT Apr 22, 2007 · The minister was shaking everyone's hand while they were leaving the church. An elderly man shook his hand and said, "Reverend, that was the worst sermon I've ever listened to. It was terrible." As the minister stood there dumbfounded, the old man's wife stepped in, trying to help. "Please don't EXERCISE | CLEAN JOKES | ENTERTAINMENT Jul 01, 2005 · - I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.- I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.- I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.- The advantage of exercising everyday is that you
FOUR LETTER WORDS
Feb 24, 2021 · A joke about a new bride who comes home after the honeymoon and is appalled at the language coming out of her new husband's mouth. So many 4-letter words. She begs her mother to come get her because she simply cannot bear the language. When her mompresses to
BE CAREFUL FOLLOWING THE CROWD Sep 15, 2005 · Another true life story for the Funnies A new missionary recruit went to Venezuela for the first time. He was struggling with the language and didn't understand a whole lot of what was going on. Intending to visit one of the local churches, he got lost, but eventually got back THIS TOWN IS SO SMALL... Mar 23, 2011 · This town is so small . . . - The City Jail is called amoeba, because it only has one cell. - Main Street, which is one block long, dead ends in both directions. - McDonalds only has one Golden Arch. - The phone book has only one page. -GATED COMMUNITY
Oct 27, 2006 · Security and peace of mind were part of the reason we moved to a gated community. Both flew out the window the night I called a local pizza shop for a delivery.'I'd like to order a large pepperoni pizza, please,' I said, then gave him the address of ourcondominium.'We'll
VICAR'S SURPRISE
Sep 23, 2004 · A rich man went to his vicar and said, 'I want you and your wife to take a three-month trip to the Holy Land at my expense. When you come back, I'll have a surprise for you'. The vicar accepted the offer, and he and his wife went off toAND THEN THEY VOTED
Nov 09, 2010 · While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?' When another person jumped in and explained that the sun rises inRAINY WEATHER HUMOR
May 10, 2005 · Nothing personal against Seattlites - change it to any other place getting a lot of rain. ----- A newcomer to Seattle arrives on a rainy day. She gets up the next day and it's raining. It also rains the day after that, and the day after SILLY Q&A | CLEAN JOKES | ENTERTAINMENT Aug 09, 2004 · Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?He's all right now. How does a spoiled rich girl change a lightbulb?She says, 'Daddy, I want a new apartment.' What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?Polaroids. What doprisoners
LITTLE ENCOURAGEMENT Apr 22, 2007 · The minister was shaking everyone's hand while they were leaving the church. An elderly man shook his hand and said, "Reverend, that was the worst sermon I've ever listened to. It was terrible." As the minister stood there dumbfounded, the old man's wife stepped in, trying to help. "Please don't EXERCISE | CLEAN JOKES | ENTERTAINMENT Jul 01, 2005 · - I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.- I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.- I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.- The advantage of exercising everyday is that you
FOUR LETTER WORDS
Feb 24, 2021 · A joke about a new bride who comes home after the honeymoon and is appalled at the language coming out of her new husband's mouth. So many 4-letter words. She begs her mother to come get her because she simply cannot bear the language. When her mompresses to
BE CAREFUL FOLLOWING THE CROWD Sep 15, 2005 · Another true life story for the Funnies A new missionary recruit went to Venezuela for the first time. He was struggling with the language and didn't understand a whole lot of what was going on. Intending to visit one of the local churches, he got lost, but eventually got back THIS TOWN IS SO SMALL... Mar 23, 2011 · This town is so small . . . - The City Jail is called amoeba, because it only has one cell. - Main Street, which is one block long, dead ends in both directions. - McDonalds only has one Golden Arch. - The phone book has only one page. -GATED COMMUNITY
Oct 27, 2006 · Security and peace of mind were part of the reason we moved to a gated community. Both flew out the window the night I called a local pizza shop for a delivery.'I'd like to order a large pepperoni pizza, please,' I said, then gave him the address of ourcondominium.'We'll
VICAR'S SURPRISE
Sep 23, 2004 · A rich man went to his vicar and said, 'I want you and your wife to take a three-month trip to the Holy Land at my expense. When you come back, I'll have a surprise for you'. The vicar accepted the offer, and he and his wife went off toAND THEN THEY VOTED
Nov 09, 2010 · While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?' When another person jumped in and explained that the sun rises inRAINY WEATHER HUMOR
May 10, 2005 · Nothing personal against Seattlites - change it to any other place getting a lot of rain. ----- A newcomer to Seattle arrives on a rainy day. She gets up the next day and it's raining. It also rains the day after that, and the day afterSPIRITUAL GIFTS
Sep 10, 2004 · During the French Revolution, there were three Christians who were sentenced to die by the guillotine. One Christian had the gift of faith, the other had the gift of prophecy, the other had the gift of helps. The Christian with the gift of faith was to beexecuted first. He
BRICKLAYER'S INSURANCE CLAIM Mar 27, 2005 · I am writing in response to your request for additional information. In block number three of the accident reporting form, I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more and I trust that the following details are sufficient: IECUMENICAL FIRE
Dec 20, 2017 · During a recent ecumenical gathering, a secretary rushed in shouting, 'The building is on fire!' The Methodists gathered in the corner and prayed. The Baptists cried, 'Where is the water?' The Quakers quietly praised God for the blessings that fire brings. CURBING CHURCH GROWTH May 19, 2008 · 25 Easy Ways to Curb the Annoying Problem of Church Growth1. Begin your message with the phrase, 'You know what's wrong with you people'2. Place the student Sunday school space near the 'Ruth class' for ladies 70 and above.3. Move business meetings toHOW HOT IS IT?
Jul 31, 2003 · How hot is it? The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground. The trees are whistling for the dogs. The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance. Hot water now comes out of both taps. You can make sun tea instantly. You THIS TOWN IS SO SMALL... Mar 23, 2011 · This town is so small . . . - The City Jail is called amoeba, because it only has one cell. - Main Street, which is one block long, dead ends in both directions. - McDonalds only has one Golden Arch. - The phone book has only one page. -AND THEN THEY VOTED
Nov 09, 2010 · While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?' When another person jumped in and explained that the sun rises in YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLD WHEN Aug 17, 2011 · You know you're getting there when Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work. You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been anywhere.ENTERTAINMENT
Oct 14, 2010 · Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), TEACHERS ABOUT TO RETIRE Dec 09, 2010 · You know you're a retiree-to-be when 1. Fellow staff members greet you in the hall with, 'Oh! Stop smiling!' 2. You get up to the checkout counter at Borders, and you realize you're buying books you won't need next year. 3. Your file cabinets are getting lighter, and your circularENTERTAINMENT
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.RAINY WEATHER HUMOR
May 10, 2005 · Nothing personal against Seattlites - change it to any other place getting a lot of rain. ----- A newcomer to Seattle arrives on a rainy day. She gets up the next day and it's raining. It also rains the day after that, and the day after YOU MIGHT BE A PASTOR IF... Jun 18, 2011 · ~ You've waded in a creek wearing a necktie. ~ You've ever dreamed you were preaching only to waken and discover that you were. ~ You'd rather negotiate with terrorists than the church organist. ~ You see a picnic as no picnic. ~ You've ever wanted tofire the church
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BAPTIST DOG
Jul 04, 2018 · A strong Baptist family decided to buy a home and make everything in the house Baptist. They were going to make it look and feel Baptist through and through. So when they were finished they went to a pet shop to look for a Baptist dog. They asked the owner, CURBING CHURCH GROWTH May 19, 2008 · 25 Easy Ways to Curb the Annoying Problem of Church Growth1. Begin your message with the phrase, 'You know what's wrong with you people'2. Place the student Sunday school space near the 'Ruth class' for ladies 70 and above.3. Move business meetings toCOUNTRY BOYS
Sep 24, 2004 · These two country boys, brothers, were knocking around one lazy summer day and thought it would be a good prank to push over the outhouse. They crept up from an advantageous direction like a couple of commandos, pushed the outhouse overSCAVENGER HUNT
Aug 29, 2005 · A woman answered her front door and saw a little boy holding a list. 'Ma'am,' he explained, 'I'm on a scavenger hunt, and I still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper to earn a dollar.''Wow,' the woman replied. 'Who sent you__
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* Details Written by Pastor Tim Published: 19 October 2012 Many of you will remember the story of “Bang” - a peach fronted conure that hit one of the windows of Cybersalt World Headquarters in June of 2011 and subsequently became part of our “flock” after we could not track down its owners (see - “Bang! ”).Bang brought a lot of fun and entertainment into our lives, but on this past Sunday he/she (we never knew what gender Bang was) went to a new home with a parrot lover half an hour away from us. Of everyone in the house, Bang bonded the most with me.This was probably due to my being the first person he saw in the morning when I uncovered his cage and delivered fresh seed and water for the beginning of the day. I like to think he was also in awe of me because I was the one who turned the sun on - a trick I like to call “opening the curtains.” For whatever reason, Bang’s little bird brain liked me the most.I’ll always remember Bang as a fun bird who would land on my shoulder for a sunflower seed while I worked at the computer, liked his share of my vanilla ice cream cones, and who enjoyed long walks on the beach together - well would have if I had ever taken him on any. At this point you are probably wondering why Bang has a new home. Last Updated: 07 July 2019 Read more: Good-Bye Bang THE STORY OF "CHICKEN THURSDAY" * Details Written by Susan Davis Published: 19 July 2011 “Chicken Thursday” has been driving some Cybersalt Digest subscribers around the bend wondering what it refers to. As promised, here is the explanation of what “Chicken Thursday”means.
This story begins way back in 2010 when Tim and I began watching “’Til Debt Do Us Part” with one of our free cable deals. After our 3 months of free cable we cancelled (because now we really knew we couldn’t afford cable), and began watching episodes on-line. I don’t know if many of you watch TV shows on-line, but one of the really neat features is seriously abbreviated commercials. Really, you get like one 15 second commercial and then it’s right back to your show. The only downside of these commercials was that the volume was set differently somehow so that they’d blare out about twice as loud as the volume of the show. Last Updated: 19 February 2015 Read more: The Story of "Chicken Thursday" Powered By JFBConnect Shop with Amazon! - http://amzn.to/2z3uBpa Copyright © 1998 - 2020 Cybersalt Consulting and Communications. Allrights reserved.
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