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POSITIVE DISCIPLINE
Positive Discipline Parent Education is based on the theories of Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs, and brought to life by Jane Nelsen and Lynn Lott in this experiential training. The Parent Educator DVD training includes 6 1/2 hours of live-filmed training and requires about 5 1/2 hours of homework to help develop the skills required in order to become a Certified Positive Discipline Parent CONNECTION BEFORE CORRECTION by Dr. Jane Nelsen The one Positive Discipline Tool I wish I had used more consistently is this: Connection before Correction. Of course, I didn't know what this meant as a young mother, and didn't create it as a Positive Discipline tool until about five years ago. Now we know it is just brain science: children learn (grow, feel safe, thrive) best when they feel connection—or WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR CHILDREN !Positive Discipline Workbook ! Jane Nelsen!!Lesson One www.positivediscipline.com Page 2 CONNECTION BEFORE CORRECTION Extensive research shows that we cannot influence children in a positive way until we create a connection with them. It is a brain (and heart) thing. Sometimes we have to stop dealing with the misbehavior and first heal the relationship. Connection creates a sense of safety and openness. Punishment, lecturing, nagging, scolding, blaming or shaming create fight, flight, orEMOTIONAL HONESTY
179 Lynn Lott and Jane Nelsen www.positivediscipline.com Teaching Parenting the Positive Discipline Way Emotional Honesty Lynn Lott Emotional honesty is a skill. PRAISE AND ENCOURAGEMENT STATEMENTS Lynn Lott and Jane Nelsen 152 www.positivediscipline.com Teaching Parenting the Positive Discipline Way Di!erences between Praise and Encouragement (Revised from a chart by Sacramento parent educators Bonnie G. Smith and Judy Dixon) EARLY CHILDHOOD MISTAKEN GOAL CHART (HOW ADULTS MAY 196 www.positivediscipline.org Positive Discipline for Early Childhood Educators By Jane Nelsen, Ed.D • Cheryl L. Erwin, MA, MFT, CPDLT • Steven Foster, LCSW, CPDLT The child’s goal is: If the adult feels (thinks): And tends to 3 ½-YEAR-OLD TANTRUMS Question: I just entered the world of Positive Discipline and I love it. I feel like I can be a really great mother—even more than I already am. I feel challenged with my 3 ½ year old! He is very specific about things. If he gets something in his mind, it must be that way, or he cries, sometimes until he falls asleep (up to an hour of crying)! For example, if I walk off the sidewalk to get MISTAKEN GOAL OF ASSUMED INADEQUACY A Positive Discipline Teacher Tool Card by Dr. Jane Nelsen and Dr. Kelly Gfroerer The student who operates from the mistaken goal of assumed inadequacy (because of a mistaken belief about her capabilities) may not cause you many problems during the day, but may haunt you at night when you have time to think about how she seems tohave given up.
RUDE TO GRANDPARENTS Question: Hi! I just attended Jane's Positive Discipline Seminar and I have her book, Positive Discipline for Preschoolers next to my bed. I love all your material and it has begun to save my relationship with my 5 year old son. I say begun to save, because we're having to undo so much of what we thought we were supposed to be doing in the name of discipline, but at leastPOSITIVE DISCIPLINE
Positive Discipline Parent Education is based on the theories of Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs, and brought to life by Jane Nelsen and Lynn Lott in this experiential training. The Parent Educator DVD training includes 6 1/2 hours of live-filmed training and requires about 5 1/2 hours of homework to help develop the skills required in order to become a Certified Positive Discipline Parent CONNECTION BEFORE CORRECTION by Dr. Jane Nelsen The one Positive Discipline Tool I wish I had used more consistently is this: Connection before Correction. Of course, I didn't know what this meant as a young mother, and didn't create it as a Positive Discipline tool until about five years ago. Now we know it is just brain science: children learn (grow, feel safe, thrive) best when they feel connection—or WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR CHILDREN !Positive Discipline Workbook ! Jane Nelsen!!Lesson One www.positivediscipline.com Page 2 CONNECTION BEFORE CORRECTION Extensive research shows that we cannot influence children in a positive way until we create a connection with them. It is a brain (and heart) thing. Sometimes we have to stop dealing with the misbehavior and first heal the relationship. Connection creates a sense of safety and openness. Punishment, lecturing, nagging, scolding, blaming or shaming create fight, flight, orEMOTIONAL HONESTY
179 Lynn Lott and Jane Nelsen www.positivediscipline.com Teaching Parenting the Positive Discipline Way Emotional Honesty Lynn Lott Emotional honesty is a skill. PRAISE AND ENCOURAGEMENT STATEMENTS Lynn Lott and Jane Nelsen 152 www.positivediscipline.com Teaching Parenting the Positive Discipline Way Di!erences between Praise and Encouragement (Revised from a chart by Sacramento parent educators Bonnie G. Smith and Judy Dixon) EARLY CHILDHOOD MISTAKEN GOAL CHART (HOW ADULTS MAY 196 www.positivediscipline.org Positive Discipline for Early Childhood Educators By Jane Nelsen, Ed.D • Cheryl L. Erwin, MA, MFT, CPDLT • Steven Foster, LCSW, CPDLT The child’s goal is: If the adult feels (thinks): And tends to 3 ½-YEAR-OLD TANTRUMS Question: I just entered the world of Positive Discipline and I love it. I feel like I can be a really great mother—even more than I already am. I feel challenged with my 3 ½ year old! He is very specific about things. If he gets something in his mind, it must be that way, or he cries, sometimes until he falls asleep (up to an hour of crying)! For example, if I walk off the sidewalk to get MISTAKEN GOAL OF ASSUMED INADEQUACY A Positive Discipline Teacher Tool Card by Dr. Jane Nelsen and Dr. Kelly Gfroerer The student who operates from the mistaken goal of assumed inadequacy (because of a mistaken belief about her capabilities) may not cause you many problems during the day, but may haunt you at night when you have time to think about how she seems tohave given up.
RUDE TO GRANDPARENTS Question: Hi! I just attended Jane's Positive Discipline Seminar and I have her book, Positive Discipline for Preschoolers next to my bed. I love all your material and it has begun to save my relationship with my 5 year old son. I say begun to save, because we're having to undo so much of what we thought we were supposed to be doing in the name of discipline, but at least PROBLEM SOLVING IN THE CLASSROOM Problem-Solving Steps. Ignore it. (It takes more courage to walk away than to stay and fight.) Do something else. (Find another game or activity.) Leave long enough for a cooling-off period, then follow-up with the next steps. Talk it over respectfully. Tell the other personhow you feel.
BOREDOM | POSITIVE DISCIPLINE Booster Thoughts #1. Children, when allowed to be bored for more than an hour, become so bored with boredom that they begin to use their native intelligence to find an alternative. When my child says, "Dad, I'm bored," I say, "I understand that, honey. Let me know how it worksout." Then I
3 ½-YEAR-OLD TANTRUMS Question: I just entered the world of Positive Discipline and I love it. I feel like I can be a really great mother—even more than I already am. I feel challenged with my 3 ½ year old! He is very specific about things. If he gets something in his mind, it must be that way, or he cries, sometimes until he falls asleep (up to an hourof crying)!
LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES Logical consequences are different from Natural Consequences in that they require the intervention of an adult—or other children in a family meeting or a class meeting. It is important to decide what kind of consequence would create a helpful learning experience that might encourage children to choose responsible cooperation. For example, Linda liked to tap her pencil while CHILD WON'T LISTEN IN DAYCARE Question: I work at a daycare with 3-5 year olds. I have a child in my class that does not listen to me most of the time. She is not phased by any of my discipline ideas. I am running out of ideas. Do you have suggestions about what I should do, or any new discipline ideas that I can use. I would like some new ideas. I hope you can help. Thanks Chris Answer: Hi Chris, This isAGGRESSIVE SIBLING
Question: I have a happy easy going five-year-old boy who recently started hitting and scratching his 2 ½ year-old sister and behaving much more defiant. I try not to react with anger—which it really does make me, because my siblings and I fought often and never learned to not hit, we went to school with scabs on our arms from scratching each other. Additionally it was my older siblings who CHILD WON'T LEAVE WHEN IT IS TIME TO GO Question: I am a single mother and have one 5-year-old son, Sean. Last night, I attended a seminar with Jane Nelsen after working all day. While I was at the seminar, Sean was at a drop in day care (Klubhouse) that stays open into the late evening. I have used this place before. Sean loves it there and he loves the care provider. My problem is I always have a power struggle with him when itsMISTAKEN$GOAL$CHART
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Thechild's goalis: If$the$parent/$$$$$ teacherfeels: And$tends$to$$$$$ reactby: And$if$the$child's$ responseis: TheBeliefbehind$$$$$ FIVE-YEAR-OLD LYING AND CONSTANTLY IN TROUBLE Question: Hi, I have a daughter who just turned 5 and a 20-month-old son. My daughter is constantly giving us trouble, at home and at day care. I'll start withshe actually bit someone a few weeks ago at school. I couldn't believe it at her age. Then when I asked her who she bit, she said she didn't bite anyone. So, she is already lying to us, too. She never listens to us about anything SAMPLE AGENDA FOR PARENTING CLASS Sample Agenda for Parenting Class by Jane Nelsen As you look at this outline and prepare for your classes, remember to follow the basic training you received inPOSITIVE DISCIPLINE
Positive Discipline Parent Education is based on the theories of Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs, and brought to life by Jane Nelsen and Lynn Lott in this experiential training. The Parent Educator DVD training includes 6 1/2 hours of live-filmed training and requires about 5 1/2 hours of homework to help develop the skills required in order to become a Certified Positive Discipline ParentFREE DOWNLOADS
Resources for Teachers. Positive Discipline in the Classroom (developed by Jane Nelsen and Lynn Lott) is a research-based classroom management program that empowers teachers with skills to build their students’ sense of community, prepare them for successful living, and increase academic achievement. Attend the 2-Day Training or bring the training to your school. TOOL CARDS | POSITIVE DISCIPLINE Positive Discipline offers online learning options for parents, teachers, and parent educators. Learn in the comfort of your own home and at your own pace. PRAISE AND ENCOURAGEMENT STATEMENTS Lynn Lott and Jane Nelsen 152 www.positivediscipline.com Teaching Parenting the Positive Discipline Way Di!erences between Praise and Encouragement (Revised from a chart by Sacramento parent educators Bonnie G. Smith and Judy Dixon)MISTAKEN$GOAL$CHART
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Thechild's goalis: If$the$parent/$$$$$ teacherfeels: And$tends$to$$$$$ reactby: And$if$the$child's$ responseis: TheBeliefbehind$$$$$ 3 ½-YEAR-OLD TANTRUMS Question: I just entered the world of Positive Discipline and I love it. I feel like I can be a really great mother—even more than I already am. I feel challenged with my 3 ½ year old! He is very specific about things. If he gets something in his mind, it must be that way, or he cries, sometimes until he falls asleep (up to an hour of crying)! For example, if I walk off the sidewalk to get RUDE TO GRANDPARENTS Question: Hi! I just attended Jane's Positive Discipline Seminar and I have her book, Positive Discipline for Preschoolers next to my bed. I love all your material and it has begun to save my relationship with my 5 year old son. I say begun to save, because we're having to undo so much of what we thought we were supposed to be doing in the name of discipline, but at least CHILD WON'T LISTEN IN DAYCARE Question: I work at a daycare with 3-5 year olds. I have a child in my class that does not listen to me most of the time. She is not phased by any of my discipline ideas. I am running out of ideas. Do you have suggestions about what I should do, or any new discipline ideas that I can use. I would like some new ideas. I hope you can help. Thanks Chris Answer: Hi Chris, This is a very broad EARLY CHILDHOOD MISTAKEN GOAL CHART (HOW ADULTS MAY 196 www.positivediscipline.org Positive Discipline for Early Childhood Educators By Jane Nelsen, Ed.D • Cheryl L. Erwin, MA, MFT, CPDLT • Steven Foster, LCSW, CPDLT The child’s goal is: If the adult feels (thinks): And tends to DEALING WITH A STRONG-WILLED 3-YEAR-OLD Question: You mentioned family meetings as an approach to dealing with a strong-willed child, but indicated that it works for children 4 and older. What about a strong-willed 3-yr-old who absolutely has to have everything her own way and goes completely ballistic if we don't do exactly what she expects? Answer: There are many factors that could be involved in your situation.POSITIVE DISCIPLINE
Positive Discipline Parent Education is based on the theories of Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs, and brought to life by Jane Nelsen and Lynn Lott in this experiential training. The Parent Educator DVD training includes 6 1/2 hours of live-filmed training and requires about 5 1/2 hours of homework to help develop the skills required in order to become a Certified Positive Discipline ParentFREE DOWNLOADS
Resources for Teachers. Positive Discipline in the Classroom (developed by Jane Nelsen and Lynn Lott) is a research-based classroom management program that empowers teachers with skills to build their students’ sense of community, prepare them for successful living, and increase academic achievement. Attend the 2-Day Training or bring the training to your school. TOOL CARDS | POSITIVE DISCIPLINE Positive Discipline offers online learning options for parents, teachers, and parent educators. Learn in the comfort of your own home and at your own pace. PRAISE AND ENCOURAGEMENT STATEMENTS Lynn Lott and Jane Nelsen 152 www.positivediscipline.com Teaching Parenting the Positive Discipline Way Di!erences between Praise and Encouragement (Revised from a chart by Sacramento parent educators Bonnie G. Smith and Judy Dixon)MISTAKEN$GOAL$CHART
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Thechild's goalis: If$the$parent/$$$$$ teacherfeels: And$tends$to$$$$$ reactby: And$if$the$child's$ responseis: TheBeliefbehind$$$$$ 3 ½-YEAR-OLD TANTRUMS Question: I just entered the world of Positive Discipline and I love it. I feel like I can be a really great mother—even more than I already am. I feel challenged with my 3 ½ year old! He is very specific about things. If he gets something in his mind, it must be that way, or he cries, sometimes until he falls asleep (up to an hour of crying)! For example, if I walk off the sidewalk to get RUDE TO GRANDPARENTS Question: Hi! I just attended Jane's Positive Discipline Seminar and I have her book, Positive Discipline for Preschoolers next to my bed. I love all your material and it has begun to save my relationship with my 5 year old son. I say begun to save, because we're having to undo so much of what we thought we were supposed to be doing in the name of discipline, but at least CHILD WON'T LISTEN IN DAYCARE Question: I work at a daycare with 3-5 year olds. I have a child in my class that does not listen to me most of the time. She is not phased by any of my discipline ideas. I am running out of ideas. Do you have suggestions about what I should do, or any new discipline ideas that I can use. I would like some new ideas. I hope you can help. Thanks Chris Answer: Hi Chris, This is a very broad EARLY CHILDHOOD MISTAKEN GOAL CHART (HOW ADULTS MAY 196 www.positivediscipline.org Positive Discipline for Early Childhood Educators By Jane Nelsen, Ed.D • Cheryl L. Erwin, MA, MFT, CPDLT • Steven Foster, LCSW, CPDLT The child’s goal is: If the adult feels (thinks): And tends to DEALING WITH A STRONG-WILLED 3-YEAR-OLD Question: You mentioned family meetings as an approach to dealing with a strong-willed child, but indicated that it works for children 4 and older. What about a strong-willed 3-yr-old who absolutely has to have everything her own way and goes completely ballistic if we don't do exactly what she expects? Answer: There are many factors that could be involved in your situation. TRAINING & CERTIFICATION The best way to learn is to teach. And the best way to teach is experientially. We offer Positive Discipline certification training for parent educators, teachers, early childhood educators, business, and couples. View the Upcoming Schedule of live in-person certification workshops. If you cannot find a workshop in your area, you may take the independent study options listed below. UponPARENTING BOOKS
Our best-selling parenting and classroom management books teach parents and teachers to be both firm and kind, so that any child–from a three-year-old toddler to a rebellious teenager–can learn creative cooperation and self-discipline with no loss ofdignity.
TOOL CARDS | POSITIVE DISCIPLINE Positive Discipline offers online learning options for parents, teachers, and parent educators. Learn in the comfort of your own home and at your own pace. CONNECTION BEFORE CORRECTION by Dr. Jane Nelsen The one Positive Discipline Tool I wish I had used more consistently is this: Connection before Correction. Of course, I didn't know what this meant as a young mother, and didn't create it as a Positive Discipline tool until about five years ago. Now we know it is just brain science: children learn (grow, feel safe, thrive) best when they feel connection—or KEEPING THE JOY IN RELATIONSHIPS The Keeping the Joy in Relationships workshop is both fun, enlightening, and packed with experiential activities designed to help Participants improve all relationships through an even deeper understanding and embodiment of Positive Discipline Principles. Whether you have been married for 30 years or are looking for a committed relationship, this workshop provides the tools to BOREDOM | POSITIVE DISCIPLINE Question: My child complains about being bored and expects me to drop everything to entertain him. What do you suggest? Answer: From the Book Positive Discipline A-Z Understanding Your Child, Yourself, and the Situation We live in a society where children are used to being entertained. Television and electronic games are major contributors tothis dilemma.
POSITIVE DISCIPLINE GUIDELINES Positive Disciplil¥ From the book Positive Discipline, by Jane Nelsen Misbehaving children are "discouraged children" who have mistaken ideas on how to achieve their Primary goal— LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES Logical consequences are different from Natural Consequences in that they require the intervention of an adult—or other children in a family meeting or a class meeting. It is important to decide what kind of consequence would create a helpful learning experience that might encourage children to choose responsible cooperation. For example, Linda liked to tap her pencil whileDISRESPECTFUL TEEN
Question: We are at our wits end trying to discipline our 13-yr. old son. He is VERY disrespectful(the more I do for him - the more he disrespects us). We thought we were disciplining him the "right way" - but no - its not working. He has gone weeks w/o the things he enjoys the most. It doesn't make a difference. HELP! Answer: Thirteen is such a delightful age, isn't it? SIX YEAR OLD TALKS TOO MUCH Question: I have a 6yr old son in kindergarten. He is constantly getting in trouble for talking. I have done just about everything I know to do to quiet him. I know children like to talk, but this is really getting out of control. He is very bright and has a wonderful personality. I don't want to be to hard on him because I don't want to change his little personality. He just loves people andPOSITIVE DISCIPLINE
Positive Discipline Parent Education is based on the theories of Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs, and brought to life by Jane Nelsen and Lynn Lott in this experiential training. The Parent Educator DVD training includes 6 1/2 hours of live-filmed training and requires about 5 1/2 hours of homework to help develop the skills required in order to become a Certified Positive Discipline Parent TOOL CARDS | POSITIVE DISCIPLINETRAINING & CERTIFICATIONPARENTING BOOKSTEACHER TOOL CARDSDOWNLOAD PRODUCTSE-BOOK DOWNLOADS Positive Discipline offers online learning options for parents, teachers, and parent educators. Learn in the comfort of your own home and at your own pace.POSITIVE DISCIPLINE
Positive Disciplil¥ From the book Positive Discipline, by Jane Nelsen Misbehaving children are "discouraged children" who have mistaken ideas on how to achieve their Primary goal— PRAISE AND ENCOURAGEMENT STATEMENTS Lynn Lott and Jane Nelsen 152 www.positivediscipline.com Teaching Parenting the Positive Discipline Way Di!erences between Praise and Encouragement (Revised from a chart by Sacramento parent educators Bonnie G. Smith and Judy Dixon) EARLY CHILDHOOD MISTAKEN GOAL CHART (HOW ADULTS MAY 196 www.positivediscipline.org Positive Discipline for Early Childhood Educators By Jane Nelsen, Ed.D • Cheryl L. Erwin, MA, MFT, CPDLT • Steven Foster, LCSW, CPDLT The child’s goal is: If the adult feels (thinks): And tends to 3 ½-YEAR-OLD TANTRUMS Question: I just entered the world of Positive Discipline and I love it. I feel like I can be a really great mother—even more than I already am. I feel challenged with my 3 ½ year old! He is very specific about things. If he gets something in his mind, it must be that way, or he cries, sometimes until he falls asleep (up to an hour of crying)! For example, if I walk off the sidewalk to get CHILD WON'T LISTEN IN DAYCARE Question: I work at a daycare with 3-5 year olds. I have a child in my class that does not listen to me most of the time. She is not phased by any of my discipline ideas. I am running out of ideas. Do you have suggestions about what I should do, or any new discipline ideas that I can use. I would like some new ideas. I hope you can help. Thanks Chris Answer: Hi Chris, This is a very broad RUDE TO GRANDPARENTS Question: Hi! I just attended Jane's Positive Discipline Seminar and I have her book, Positive Discipline for Preschoolers next to my bed. I love all your material and it has begun to save my relationship with my 5 year old son. I say begun to save, because we're having to undo so much of what we thought we were supposed to be doing in the name of discipline, but at leastMISTAKEN$GOAL$CHART
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Thechild's goalis: If$the$parent/$$$$$ teacherfeels: And$tends$to$$$$$ reactby: And$if$the$child's$ responseis: TheBeliefbehind$$$$$ DEALING WITH A STRONG-WILLED 3-YEAR-OLD Question: You mentioned family meetings as an approach to dealing with a strong-willed child, but indicated that it works for children 4 and older. What about a strong-willed 3-yr-old who absolutely has to have everything her own way and goes completely ballistic if we don't do exactly what she expects? Answer: There are many factors that could be involved in your situation.POSITIVE DISCIPLINE
Positive Discipline Parent Education is based on the theories of Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs, and brought to life by Jane Nelsen and Lynn Lott in this experiential training. The Parent Educator DVD training includes 6 1/2 hours of live-filmed training and requires about 5 1/2 hours of homework to help develop the skills required in order to become a Certified Positive Discipline Parent TOOL CARDS | POSITIVE DISCIPLINETRAINING & CERTIFICATIONPARENTING BOOKSTEACHER TOOL CARDSDOWNLOAD PRODUCTSE-BOOK DOWNLOADS Positive Discipline offers online learning options for parents, teachers, and parent educators. Learn in the comfort of your own home and at your own pace.POSITIVE DISCIPLINE
Positive Disciplil¥ From the book Positive Discipline, by Jane Nelsen Misbehaving children are "discouraged children" who have mistaken ideas on how to achieve their Primary goal— PRAISE AND ENCOURAGEMENT STATEMENTS Lynn Lott and Jane Nelsen 152 www.positivediscipline.com Teaching Parenting the Positive Discipline Way Di!erences between Praise and Encouragement (Revised from a chart by Sacramento parent educators Bonnie G. Smith and Judy Dixon) EARLY CHILDHOOD MISTAKEN GOAL CHART (HOW ADULTS MAY 196 www.positivediscipline.org Positive Discipline for Early Childhood Educators By Jane Nelsen, Ed.D • Cheryl L. Erwin, MA, MFT, CPDLT • Steven Foster, LCSW, CPDLT The child’s goal is: If the adult feels (thinks): And tends to 3 ½-YEAR-OLD TANTRUMS Question: I just entered the world of Positive Discipline and I love it. I feel like I can be a really great mother—even more than I already am. I feel challenged with my 3 ½ year old! He is very specific about things. If he gets something in his mind, it must be that way, or he cries, sometimes until he falls asleep (up to an hour of crying)! For example, if I walk off the sidewalk to get CHILD WON'T LISTEN IN DAYCARE Question: I work at a daycare with 3-5 year olds. I have a child in my class that does not listen to me most of the time. She is not phased by any of my discipline ideas. I am running out of ideas. Do you have suggestions about what I should do, or any new discipline ideas that I can use. I would like some new ideas. I hope you can help. Thanks Chris Answer: Hi Chris, This is a very broad RUDE TO GRANDPARENTS Question: Hi! I just attended Jane's Positive Discipline Seminar and I have her book, Positive Discipline for Preschoolers next to my bed. I love all your material and it has begun to save my relationship with my 5 year old son. I say begun to save, because we're having to undo so much of what we thought we were supposed to be doing in the name of discipline, but at leastMISTAKEN$GOAL$CHART
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Thechild's goalis: If$the$parent/$$$$$ teacherfeels: And$tends$to$$$$$ reactby: And$if$the$child's$ responseis: TheBeliefbehind$$$$$ DEALING WITH A STRONG-WILLED 3-YEAR-OLD Question: You mentioned family meetings as an approach to dealing with a strong-willed child, but indicated that it works for children 4 and older. What about a strong-willed 3-yr-old who absolutely has to have everything her own way and goes completely ballistic if we don't do exactly what she expects? Answer: There are many factors that could be involved in your situation.FREE DOWNLOADS
Resources for Teachers. Positive Discipline in the Classroom (developed by Jane Nelsen and Lynn Lott) is a research-based classroom management program that empowers teachers with skills to build their students’ sense of community, prepare them for successful living, and increase academic achievement. Attend the 2-Day Training or bring the training to your school. TRAINING & CERTIFICATION The best way to learn is to teach. And the best way to teach is experientially. We offer Positive Discipline certification training for parent educators, teachers, early childhood educators, business, and couples. View the Upcoming Schedule of live in-person certification workshops. If you cannot find a workshop in your area, you may take the independent study options listed below. UponPARENTING BOOKS
Our best-selling parenting and classroom management books teach parents and teachers to be both firm and kind, so that any child–from a three-year-old toddler to a rebellious teenager–can learn creative cooperation and self-discipline with no loss ofdignity.
CONNECTION BEFORE CORRECTION by Dr. Jane Nelsen The one Positive Discipline Tool I wish I had used more consistently is this: Connection before Correction. Of course, I didn't know what this meant as a young mother, and didn't create it as a Positive Discipline tool until about five years ago. Now we know it is just brain science: children learn (grow, feel safe, thrive) best when they feel connection—orVALIDATE FEELINGS
Positive Discipline Parent Tool by Dr. Jane Nelsen Billy is sad because his friend doesn’t want to play with him. Susan is angry because she doesn’t want to pick up her toys. Tammie hates her baby brother and wants to hit him. Billy’s Mom tries to comfort him bysaying,
CHILD WON'T LISTEN IN DAYCARE Question: I work at a daycare with 3-5 year olds. I have a child in my class that does not listen to me most of the time. She is not phased by any of my discipline ideas. I am running out of ideas. Do you have suggestions about what I should do, or any new discipline ideas that I can use. I would like some new ideas. I hope you can help. Thanks Chris Answer: Hi Chris, This is CHILD WON'T LEAVE WHEN IT IS TIME TO GO Question: I am a single mother and have one 5-year-old son, Sean. Last night, I attended a seminar with Jane Nelsen after working all day. While I was at the seminar, Sean was at a drop in day care (Klubhouse) that stays open into the late evening. I have used this place before. Sean loves it there and he loves the care provider. My problem is I always have a power struggle with him when its LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES Logical consequences are different from Natural Consequences in that they require the intervention of an adult—or other children in a family meeting or a class meeting. It is important to decide what kind of consequence would create a helpful learning experience that might encourage children to choose responsible cooperation. For example, Linda liked to tap her pencil whileDISRESPECTFUL TEEN
Question: We are at our wits end trying to discipline our 13-yr. old son. He is VERY disrespectful(the more I do for him - the more he disrespects us). We thought we were disciplining him the "right way" - but no - its not working. He has gone weeks w/o the things he enjoys the most. It doesn't make a difference. HELP! Answer: Thirteen is such a delightful age, isn't it? SIX YEAR OLD TALKS TOO MUCH Question: I have a 6yr old son in kindergarten. He is constantly getting in trouble for talking. I have done just about everything I know to do to quiet him. I know children like to talk, but this is really getting out of control. He is very bright and has a wonderful personality. I don't want to be to hard on him because I don't want to change his little personality. He just loves people andPOSITIVE DISCIPLINE
Positive Discipline Parent Education is based on the theories of Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs, and brought to life by Jane Nelsen and Lynn Lott in this experiential training. The Parent Educator DVD training includes 6 1/2 hours of live-filmed training and requires about 5 1/2 hours of homework to help develop the skills required in order to become a Certified Positive Discipline Parent CONNECTION BEFORE CORRECTION by Dr. Jane Nelsen The one Positive Discipline Tool I wish I had used more consistently is this: Connection before Correction. Of course, I didn't know what this meant as a young mother, and didn't create it as a Positive Discipline tool until about five years ago. Now we know it is just brain science: children learn (grow, feel safe, thrive) best when they feel connection—or WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR CHILDREN !Positive Discipline Workbook ! Jane Nelsen!!Lesson One www.positivediscipline.com Page 2EMOTIONAL HONESTY
179 Lynn Lott and Jane Nelsen www.positivediscipline.com Teaching Parenting the Positive Discipline Way Emotional Honesty Lynn Lott Emotional honesty is a skill. CONNECTION BEFORE CORRECTION Extensive research shows that we cannot influence children in a positive way until we create a connection with them. It is a brain (and heart) thing. Sometimes we have to stop dealing with the misbehavior and first heal the relationship. Connection creates a sense of safety and openness. Punishment, lecturing, nagging, scolding, blaming or shaming create fight, flight, or PRAISE AND ENCOURAGEMENT STATEMENTS Lynn Lott and Jane Nelsen 152 www.positivediscipline.com Teaching Parenting the Positive Discipline Way Di!erences between Praise and Encouragement (Revised from a chart by Sacramento parent educators Bonnie G. Smith and Judy Dixon) CHILD WON'T LEAVE WHEN IT IS TIME TO GO Question: I am a single mother and have one 5-year-old son, Sean. Last night, I attended a seminar with Jane Nelsen after working all day. While I was at the seminar, Sean was at a drop in day care (Klubhouse) that stays open into the late evening. I have used this place before. Sean loves it there and he loves the care provider. My problem is I always have a power struggle with him when its EARLY CHILDHOOD MISTAKEN GOAL CHART (HOW ADULTS MAY 196 www.positivediscipline.org Positive Discipline for Early Childhood Educators By Jane Nelsen, Ed.D • Cheryl L. Erwin, MA, MFT, CPDLT • Steven Foster, LCSW, CPDLT The child’s goal is: If the adult feels (thinks): And tends to CHILD WON'T LISTEN IN DAYCARE Question: I work at a daycare with 3-5 year olds. I have a child in my class that does not listen to me most of the time. She is not phased by any of my discipline ideas. I am running out of ideas. Do you have suggestions about what I should do, or any new discipline ideas that I can use. I would like some new ideas. I hope you can help. Thanks Chris Answer: Hi Chris, This is a very broad MISTAKEN GOAL OF ASSUMED INADEQUACY A Positive Discipline Teacher Tool Card by Dr. Jane Nelsen and Dr. Kelly Gfroerer The student who operates from the mistaken goal of assumed inadequacy (because of a mistaken belief about her capabilities) may not cause you many problems during the day, but may haunt you at night when you have time to think about how she seems tohave given up.
POSITIVE DISCIPLINE
Positive Discipline Parent Education is based on the theories of Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs, and brought to life by Jane Nelsen and Lynn Lott in this experiential training. The Parent Educator DVD training includes 6 1/2 hours of live-filmed training and requires about 5 1/2 hours of homework to help develop the skills required in order to become a Certified Positive Discipline Parent CONNECTION BEFORE CORRECTION by Dr. Jane Nelsen The one Positive Discipline Tool I wish I had used more consistently is this: Connection before Correction. Of course, I didn't know what this meant as a young mother, and didn't create it as a Positive Discipline tool until about five years ago. Now we know it is just brain science: children learn (grow, feel safe, thrive) best when they feel connection—or WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR CHILDREN !Positive Discipline Workbook ! Jane Nelsen!!Lesson One www.positivediscipline.com Page 2EMOTIONAL HONESTY
179 Lynn Lott and Jane Nelsen www.positivediscipline.com Teaching Parenting the Positive Discipline Way Emotional Honesty Lynn Lott Emotional honesty is a skill. CONNECTION BEFORE CORRECTION Extensive research shows that we cannot influence children in a positive way until we create a connection with them. It is a brain (and heart) thing. Sometimes we have to stop dealing with the misbehavior and first heal the relationship. Connection creates a sense of safety and openness. Punishment, lecturing, nagging, scolding, blaming or shaming create fight, flight, or PRAISE AND ENCOURAGEMENT STATEMENTS Lynn Lott and Jane Nelsen 152 www.positivediscipline.com Teaching Parenting the Positive Discipline Way Di!erences between Praise and Encouragement (Revised from a chart by Sacramento parent educators Bonnie G. Smith and Judy Dixon) CHILD WON'T LEAVE WHEN IT IS TIME TO GO Question: I am a single mother and have one 5-year-old son, Sean. Last night, I attended a seminar with Jane Nelsen after working all day. While I was at the seminar, Sean was at a drop in day care (Klubhouse) that stays open into the late evening. I have used this place before. Sean loves it there and he loves the care provider. My problem is I always have a power struggle with him when its EARLY CHILDHOOD MISTAKEN GOAL CHART (HOW ADULTS MAY 196 www.positivediscipline.org Positive Discipline for Early Childhood Educators By Jane Nelsen, Ed.D • Cheryl L. Erwin, MA, MFT, CPDLT • Steven Foster, LCSW, CPDLT The child’s goal is: If the adult feels (thinks): And tends to CHILD WON'T LISTEN IN DAYCARE Question: I work at a daycare with 3-5 year olds. I have a child in my class that does not listen to me most of the time. She is not phased by any of my discipline ideas. I am running out of ideas. Do you have suggestions about what I should do, or any new discipline ideas that I can use. I would like some new ideas. I hope you can help. Thanks Chris Answer: Hi Chris, This is a very broad MISTAKEN GOAL OF ASSUMED INADEQUACY A Positive Discipline Teacher Tool Card by Dr. Jane Nelsen and Dr. Kelly Gfroerer The student who operates from the mistaken goal of assumed inadequacy (because of a mistaken belief about her capabilities) may not cause you many problems during the day, but may haunt you at night when you have time to think about how she seems tohave given up.
PROBLEM SOLVING IN THE CLASSROOM Problem-Solving Steps. Ignore it. (It takes more courage to walk away than to stay and fight.) Do something else. (Find another game or activity.) Leave long enough for a cooling-off period, then follow-up with the next steps. Talk it over respectfully. Tell the other personhow you feel.
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Positive Discipline offers online learning options for parents, teachers, and parent educators. Learn in the comfort of your own home and at your own pace. 3 ½-YEAR-OLD TANTRUMS Question: I just entered the world of Positive Discipline and I love it. I feel like I can be a really great mother—even more than I already am. I feel challenged with my 3 ½ year old! He is very specific about things. If he gets something in his mind, it must be that way, or he cries, sometimes until he falls asleep (up to an hourof crying)!
LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES Logical consequences are different from Natural Consequences in that they require the intervention of an adult—or other children in a family meeting or a class meeting. It is important to decide what kind of consequence would create a helpful learning experience that might encourage children to choose responsible cooperation. For example, Linda liked to tap her pencil while AVOID REWARDS IN THE CLASSROOM by Dr. Jane Nelsen and Dr. Kelly Gfroerer While rewards may be a quick way to motivate students, it is important to stop and think, “What are students learning when they receive rewards?” Research has shown that rewards are not effective long-term and in fact can be harmful to students. The rewards become more important than the inner satisfaction of learning and contribution. Below is an CHILD WON'T LISTEN IN DAYCARE Question: I work at a daycare with 3-5 year olds. I have a child in my class that does not listen to me most of the time. She is not phased by any of my discipline ideas. I am running out of ideas. Do you have suggestions about what I should do, or any new discipline ideas that I can use. I would like some new ideas. I hope you can help. Thanks Chris Answer: Hi Chris, This is CHILD WON'T LEAVE WHEN IT IS TIME TO GO Question: I am a single mother and have one 5-year-old son, Sean. Last night, I attended a seminar with Jane Nelsen after working all day. While I was at the seminar, Sean was at a drop in day care (Klubhouse) that stays open into the late evening. I have used this place before. Sean loves it there and he loves the care provider. My problem is Ialways have a power
SIX YEAR OLD TALKS TOO MUCH Question: I have a 6yr old son in kindergarten. He is constantly getting in trouble for talking. I have done just about everything I know to do to quiet him. I know children like to talk, but this is really getting out of control. He is very bright and has a wonderful personality. I don't want to be to hard on him because I don't want to change his little personality. He just loves people and TRUSTING THE PROCESS www.positivediscipline.com Trusting the Process by Jane Nelsen Question: What does it mean to "trust the process"? Answer: There are several aspects to trusting the process FIVE-YEAR-OLD LYING AND CONSTANTLY IN TROUBLE Question: Hi, I have a daughter who just turned 5 and a 20-month-old son. My daughter is constantly giving us trouble, at home and at day care. I'll start withshe actually bit someone a few weeks ago at school. I couldn't believe it at her age. Then when I asked her who she bit, she said she didn't bite anyone. So, she is already lying to us, too. She never listens to us about anythingPOSITIVE DISCIPLINE
Positive Discipline Parent Education is based on the theories of Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs, and brought to life by Jane Nelsen and Lynn Lott in this experiential training. The Parent Educator DVD training includes 6 1/2 hours of live-filmed training and requires about 5 1/2 hours of homework to help develop the skills required in order to become a Certified Positive Discipline Parent TOOL CARDS | POSITIVE DISCIPLINETRAINING & CERTIFICATIONPARENTING BOOKSTEACHER TOOL CARDSDOWNLOAD PRODUCTSE-BOOK DOWNLOADS Positive Discipline offers online learning options for parents, teachers, and parent educators. Learn in the comfort of your own home and at your own pace. 3 ½-YEAR-OLD TANTRUMS Question: I just entered the world of Positive Discipline and I love it. I feel like I can be a really great mother—even more than I already am. I feel challenged with my 3 ½ year old! He is very specific about things. If he gets something in his mind, it must be that way, or he cries, sometimes until he falls asleep (up to an hour of crying)! For example, if I walk off the sidewalk to get CHILD WON'T LISTEN IN DAYCARE Question: I work at a daycare with 3-5 year olds. I have a child in my class that does not listen to me most of the time. She is not phased by any of my discipline ideas. I am running out of ideas. Do you have suggestions about what I should do, or any new discipline ideas that I can use. I would like some new ideas. I hope you can help. Thanks Chris Answer: Hi Chris, This is a very broad CONNECTION BEFORE CORRECTION Extensive research shows that we cannot influence children in a positive way until we create a connection with them. It is a brain (and heart) thing. Sometimes we have to stop dealing with the misbehavior and first heal the relationship. Connection creates a sense of safety and openness. Punishment, lecturing, nagging, scolding, blaming or shaming create fight, flight, orEMOTIONAL HONESTY
179 Lynn Lott and Jane Nelsen www.positivediscipline.com Teaching Parenting the Positive Discipline Way Emotional Honesty Lynn Lott Emotional honesty is a skill. PRAISE AND ENCOURAGEMENT STATEMENTS Lynn Lott and Jane Nelsen 152 www.positivediscipline.com Teaching Parenting the Positive Discipline Way Di!erences between Praise and Encouragement (Revised from a chart by Sacramento parent educators Bonnie G. Smith and Judy Dixon) FIVE-YEAR-OLD LYING AND CONSTANTLY IN TROUBLE Question: Hi, I have a daughter who just turned 5 and a 20-month-old son. My daughter is constantly giving us trouble, at home and at day care. I'll start withshe actually bit someone a few weeks ago at school. I couldn't believe it at her age. Then when I asked her who she bit, she said she didn't bite anyone. So, she is already lying to us, too. She never listens to us about anything RUDE TO GRANDPARENTS Question: Hi! I just attended Jane's Positive Discipline Seminar and I have her book, Positive Discipline for Preschoolers next to my bed. I love all your material and it has begun to save my relationship with my 5 year old son. I say begun to save, because we're having to undo so much of what we thought we were supposed to be doing in the name of discipline, but at leastMISTAKEN$GOAL$CHART
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Thechild's goalis: If$the$parent/$$$$$ teacherfeels: And$tends$to$$$$$ reactby: And$if$the$child's$ responseis: TheBeliefbehind$$$$$POSITIVE DISCIPLINE
Positive Discipline Parent Education is based on the theories of Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs, and brought to life by Jane Nelsen and Lynn Lott in this experiential training. The Parent Educator DVD training includes 6 1/2 hours of live-filmed training and requires about 5 1/2 hours of homework to help develop the skills required in order to become a Certified Positive Discipline Parent TOOL CARDS | POSITIVE DISCIPLINETRAINING & CERTIFICATIONPARENTING BOOKSTEACHER TOOL CARDSDOWNLOAD PRODUCTSE-BOOK DOWNLOADS Positive Discipline offers online learning options for parents, teachers, and parent educators. Learn in the comfort of your own home and at your own pace. 3 ½-YEAR-OLD TANTRUMS Question: I just entered the world of Positive Discipline and I love it. I feel like I can be a really great mother—even more than I already am. I feel challenged with my 3 ½ year old! He is very specific about things. If he gets something in his mind, it must be that way, or he cries, sometimes until he falls asleep (up to an hour of crying)! For example, if I walk off the sidewalk to get CHILD WON'T LISTEN IN DAYCARE Question: I work at a daycare with 3-5 year olds. I have a child in my class that does not listen to me most of the time. She is not phased by any of my discipline ideas. I am running out of ideas. Do you have suggestions about what I should do, or any new discipline ideas that I can use. I would like some new ideas. I hope you can help. Thanks Chris Answer: Hi Chris, This is a very broad CONNECTION BEFORE CORRECTION Extensive research shows that we cannot influence children in a positive way until we create a connection with them. It is a brain (and heart) thing. Sometimes we have to stop dealing with the misbehavior and first heal the relationship. Connection creates a sense of safety and openness. Punishment, lecturing, nagging, scolding, blaming or shaming create fight, flight, orEMOTIONAL HONESTY
179 Lynn Lott and Jane Nelsen www.positivediscipline.com Teaching Parenting the Positive Discipline Way Emotional Honesty Lynn Lott Emotional honesty is a skill. PRAISE AND ENCOURAGEMENT STATEMENTS Lynn Lott and Jane Nelsen 152 www.positivediscipline.com Teaching Parenting the Positive Discipline Way Di!erences between Praise and Encouragement (Revised from a chart by Sacramento parent educators Bonnie G. Smith and Judy Dixon) FIVE-YEAR-OLD LYING AND CONSTANTLY IN TROUBLE Question: Hi, I have a daughter who just turned 5 and a 20-month-old son. My daughter is constantly giving us trouble, at home and at day care. I'll start withshe actually bit someone a few weeks ago at school. I couldn't believe it at her age. Then when I asked her who she bit, she said she didn't bite anyone. So, she is already lying to us, too. She never listens to us about anything RUDE TO GRANDPARENTS Question: Hi! I just attended Jane's Positive Discipline Seminar and I have her book, Positive Discipline for Preschoolers next to my bed. I love all your material and it has begun to save my relationship with my 5 year old son. I say begun to save, because we're having to undo so much of what we thought we were supposed to be doing in the name of discipline, but at leastMISTAKEN$GOAL$CHART
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Thechild's goalis: If$the$parent/$$$$$ teacherfeels: And$tends$to$$$$$ reactby: And$if$the$child's$ responseis: TheBeliefbehind$$$$$ TRAINING & CERTIFICATION The best way to learn is to teach. And the best way to teach is experientially. We offer Positive Discipline certification training for parent educators, teachers, early childhood educators, business, and couples. View the Upcoming Schedule of live in-person certification workshops. If you cannot find a workshop in your area, you may take the independent study options listed below. UponFREE DOWNLOADS
Resources for Teachers. Positive Discipline in the Classroom (developed by Jane Nelsen and Lynn Lott) is a research-based classroom management program that empowers teachers with skills to build their students’ sense of community, prepare them for successful living, and increase academic achievement. Attend the 2-Day Training or bring the training to your school.USER ACCOUNT
Based on the best selling Positive Discipline books by Dr. Jane Nelsen, Positive Discipline employs non-punitive methods for teaching valuable social and life skills in a manner that is respectful and encouraging for both children and adults (parents, teachers, childcareSAN DIEGO, CA
Positive Discipline offers online learning options for parents, teachers, and parent educators. Learn in the comfort of your own home and at your own pace. BOREDOM | POSITIVE DISCIPLINE Booster Thoughts #1. Children, when allowed to be bored for more than an hour, become so bored with boredom that they begin to use their native intelligence to find an alternative. When my child says, "Dad, I'm bored," I say, "I understand that, honey. Let me know how it worksout." Then I
CONNECTION BEFORE CORRECTION by Dr. Jane Nelsen The one Positive Discipline Tool I wish I had used more consistently is this: Connection before Correction. Of course, I didn't know what this meant as a young mother, and didn't create it as a Positive Discipline tool until about five years ago. Now we know it is just brain science: children learn (grow, feel safe, thrive) best when they feel connection—or WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR CHILDREN !Positive Discipline Workbook ! Jane Nelsen!!Lesson One www.positivediscipline.com Page 2 CONNECTION BEFORE CORRECTION Extensive research shows that we cannot influence children in a positive way until we create a connection with them. It is a brain (and heart) thing. Sometimes we have to stop dealing with the misbehavior and first heal the relationship. Connection creates a sense of safety and openness. Punishment, lecturing, nagging, scolding, blaming or shaming create fight, flight, or LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES Logical consequences are different from Natural Consequences in that they require the intervention of an adult—or other children in a family meeting or a class meeting. It is important to decide what kind of consequence would create a helpful learning experience that might encourage children to choose responsible cooperation. For example, Linda liked to tap her pencil while SIX YEAR OLD TALKS TOO MUCH Question: I have a 6yr old son in kindergarten. He is constantly getting in trouble for talking. I have done just about everything I know to do to quiet him. I know children like to talk, but this is really getting out of control. He is very bright and has a wonderful personality. I don't want to be to hard on him because I don't want to change his little personality. He just loves people and Skip to main contentSEARCH FORM
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Break the Code of MisbehaviorLimited Choices
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