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* About Me
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BUTTERFLY EMERGING
June 19, 2019 By RachelLeave a
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Butterflies go through a metamorphosis process beginning with a caterpillar. During the chrysalis stage the wings are being developed. Once emerged, the butterfly must begin to start the process of learning to be a butterfly. Today I feel as though I have finally emerged from my 60+ day transformation inside the cancer cocoon where I was developing my miraculously beautiful wings. Once the butterflies complete this metamorphosis process they are very tired and need torest.
I am taking a cue from these gorgeous gifts of nature and allowing myself a hardening off period. Taking the appropriate amount of rest and then learnIng to fly. I am ready to hit the ground running and fly immediately, but my body has other plans. Like the butterfly, what goes on behind the scenes is far more complicated than meet the eye. Bottom lime, I am ready to “Fk fear and fly!” (One of my favorite quotes from The Brave Sparrow on IG. Of course my own motto Fear Less,Slay More.
COUNTDOWN MENTALITY
June 13, 2019 By RachelLeave a
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The day has arrived my friends!! After having been in Mexico for 60 days receiving treatment, we are approaching THE FINAL COUNTDOWN!! On Monday, I received my sixth and final IPT/chemo session. Next week, we will depart Hope4Cancer Treatment Centers and finally head back home to Michigan via a cross country road tour. While I will miss my H4C family so much and am sad to leave this little safe haven, I am ready to move forward and more importantly, sleep in my own bed. The relationships I have developed while here are without question, some of the most meaningful of my life. I have been in anticipation of this day for so long. When planning this trip, there was no way to even imagine the kinds of twists and turns I would find myself undertaking. I was just a girl. Planning a trip to an amazing four star resort in Cancun, Mexico. The plan was to receive some holistic therapies to strengthen my immune system which at the time was really plundering. I had no idea my family were crossing their fingers behind their backs hoping I would just get the chance to get on a plane to make it to Mexico for treatment. When we arrived in Cancun 60 days ago, I remember the day vividly. It was very sunny and the weather was perfectly beach temperate. At the airport, everything went so smoothly, which is usually pretty unusual for my trips my husband and I take. When we came through the terminal and walked outside there was a driver holding a sign with MY name on it (probably sounds weird, but I have always wanted to show up and have someone waiting for me with a sign). We hopped in the shuttle and we were whisked off to explore paradise. That is really where the fun part of the story ended for me. Because I started feeling very ill right away in the shuttle. When we travel, my husband loves talking to drivers and getting some history about the local area or talking about the sights along the way. This was a good distraction as I was just sitting there hoping our hotel wasn’t much further or I was going to get sick in the car and begin our trip witha scene.
We arrived at the hotel and were greeted with cold washcloths. Which considering how I was feeling was absolutely perfect for me. I had spent the past month living with frozen washcloths or ice packs on my head because I was constantly in pain. This extra special welcome allowed me to pull myself together enough to be able to check in to the hotel. We were also greeted with a glass of sparkling wine for Alec and a bottle of water for me. After check in, we were escorted to our room which to describe as breathtaking is an understatement. It was a suite with a beautiful king sized bed with a living room area overlooking our resort and the gorgeous teal water! We sent the bellboy on a mission right away for some ice so that I could ice my head. While laying there, in pain once again, I just couldn’t stop crying tears of joy. Less than a month before I had this off the wall conversation with Claudette from H4C. Proposed this hair-brained idea with its steep price tag to my loved ones. Somehow in less than 30 days it all manifested! I was sitting in Cancun with an opportunity to finally receive some professional guidance with my health. –Continue Reading– GIVE UP? NOW? AFTER ALL OF THIS? June 8, 2019 By RachelLeave a
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People ask me all the time, “How do you do it?” “How do you stay positive?” Nearly seven years ago, the trajectory of my life changed without a moment’s notice. Fast foreword four years, and the really difficult times came. During each of those excruciatingly painful treatments I just kept looking forward. Visualizing that the suffering was temporary and my reward would be a lifetime of joy, adventure, love, and many more memories to make. Once my decline began, my mind started to waiver away from the belief I was going to get some relief from this painful journey. In fact, my recall healing sessions point to this factor as a potential reason for my sudden outbreak of tumors. The sheer fear and panic around the idea of feeling trapped with no way out of this recurring nightmare. The thoughts started popping up so rapidly that I even began to be open about my feelings of not wanting to continue to fight so hard to live. Thankfully, one of my dominant personality traits is that I am not one to give up easily. Especially if I have already an invested interest in the outcome. This stubbornness was enough to remind me that I am a fighter. I accepted the possibility that all this could be a futile effort. But when doubts came into my mind, I stopped them dead in tracks and reminded myself what I am fighting for and how much time, energy, resources, and sacrifice from others it has taken to getme to this place.
Everyday is a new chance for me to approach the day from a place of gratitude or from a mindset of lack. I could choose to wake up and focus my thoughts on how exhausted I am because I slept poorly again. How my legs, ankles, and feet are so swollen, just walking is a challenge. How I have to get stuck with yet another needle for bloodwork at 7am. How I am starving from fasting for the bloodwork. How its Saturday and I have 6 hours worth of therapy to do today. –Continue Reading–THE PREVIOUS
FEARING THE FINISH LINE I am beginning my countdown to leaving this healing sanctuary and heading back home to resume life. I have witnessed so many people here at the clinic come and go. Some of them leave here with a new found exuberance, ready to conquer the world. Others are fearful. Afraid that they won’t be able to LOOKING PAIN IN THE EYES – FROM A CAREGIVER’S VIEW A long time ago when I was a teenager I went to Alaska to become a fisherman. I was lured by the adventure, the vast unknown and the promise of good pay. But the foundation of my main motive and purpose was derived from the trip I took a year before. That was the move THIS MOMENT IS PERFECT All we can do is make the decision for today. We are really only living in the now. If we think about the past and all that we have endured to get here, we are most likely going to feel depressed. If we think about the future and all that we desire to be, it MAKING SPACE TO GAIN TRUE CLOSENESS I know it is hard to keep on keepin on when everything is chaos around you. Just remember that only you can honor and respect your piece of mind. You have the right to choose to distance yourself from drama. As much as it seems like it is selfish to do, sometimes you have to I AM ENOUGH CHEMO BRAIN AND ALL I have been learning through my self reflection that I have never really dealt with any emotions my whole life. Anything bad that happened to me was shoved in “a black hole” in my mind, never to be thought of or found again. As I am going through this healing journey, my mind is startingABOUT THE BLOG
Hello My Fearless Slayers! My name is Rachel Bykovny. First and foremost, I am a wife, pet mama, cancer wellness advocate, and a mindset coach. My sole/soul mission in life is to help others navigate the messy waters of healing through cancer. I experience so much joy sharing the tools I utilize to maintain a Cancer Healing Mindset. Living with cancer does not have to be doom and gloom. With the right attitude and motto, you too will feel empowered to "Fear Less, Slay More" just as I do.Read More Food Advertising by Want more? Subscribe for updates! COOKBOOK FEATURING MY RECIPES LOOKING FOR SOMETHING?CATEGORIES
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