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WORKING STORIES
I’m a supervisor at a movie theater. We’ve just reopened about two months ago after being closed due to the health crisis. We hired four teenagers with our new group of hires about a month and a half ago. POPULAR – FUNNY & TRUE STORIES Parents/Guardians, Rude & Risque, USA, Zoo | Right | July 5, 2008. (The zoo sells these SpongeBob ice creams with gumball eyes. I overhear this mother telling her young son eating one outside one of the restaurants) Mom: “Oh look, honey, when you licked his balls you got stuff all over your face!”. 4,822. 8.UNFILTERED STORIES
Unfiltered Story #236022. Canada, Ontario, Theater | Unfiltered | June 6, 2021. I work for a reknowned classical theatre company, located next to a beautiful river filled with waterfowl for which the city is known for. Both citizens and visitors to the city enjoy a quaint stroll along the river. We sell picnic lunches to patrons before theshow
RIGHT STORIES
Dear readers, It’s PRIDE MONTH! The first official pride parade took place in 1970 as a tribute to those who were involved in the Stonewall Riots the year before.Pride Month has only grown over the last forty years, and we’ve made a lot of progress toward the acceptance of people of all different sexualities, gender identities, and romanticinclinations.
THEY DON’T HAVE ANY WISDOM TO REMOVE! Me: “No, they do not mean the same thing! Why would you think so?”. Student: “Well, because both of those usually happen around the same time, so I thought” *Shrugs and sits down*. Me: “No, they are two totally different things. Getting your wisdom teeth removed is having actual teeth removed from your mouth.”. Student: “Wait! LAW FIRM STORIES– FUNNY & TRUE STORIES A Lawful State Of Mind. My team at work wants to record audio from phone calls, and we have been sent to talk to the lawyers to make sure we do it right. We’re discussing this via video call. Lawyer: “It’s state-by-state. Some require more warning than others.”. Coworker: “Okay, I gotta ask, I’m just curious. I’m in New York,but
SAFETY STORIES– FUNNY & TRUE STORIES An employee is helping me when another customer comes up and interrupts. Customer: “Um, hi, sorry quick question. Where do you keep your fire extinguishers?” Employee: “Residential or automotive?” Customer: “Well, there’s a car on fire in the parking lot, so whatever’s good RUDE & RISQUE STORIES– FUNNY & TRUE Grandmas Are The Breast. My grandma was something else. Feared by all, she took no s*** in life and was, in a word, iconic. When I was a teenager, I was at my grandma’s house so I could go swimming at her pool. When I finished, my dad told me to go down to the house and say thank you to my grandma. I went down and saw she was on her back TRENDING – FUNNY & TRUE STORIES I have submitted a few stories about my father-in-law, including this one.My father-in-law is a pretty smart man, especially when it comes to anything construction, and the company he has worked with for several decades really values him. NEWEST – FUNNY & TRUE STORIES I called in to my job at because I was new to driving and was nervous about trying to navigate through streets clogged with downed trees. Manager: “Well, we need you to come in; we’re short-staffed.”. Lesson learned for next time: just say, “I can’t leave my neighborhood,” and hang up. Sigh.WORKING STORIES
I’m a supervisor at a movie theater. We’ve just reopened about two months ago after being closed due to the health crisis. We hired four teenagers with our new group of hires about a month and a half ago. POPULAR – FUNNY & TRUE STORIES Parents/Guardians, Rude & Risque, USA, Zoo | Right | July 5, 2008. (The zoo sells these SpongeBob ice creams with gumball eyes. I overhear this mother telling her young son eating one outside one of the restaurants) Mom: “Oh look, honey, when you licked his balls you got stuff all over your face!”. 4,822. 8.UNFILTERED STORIES
Unfiltered Story #236022. Canada, Ontario, Theater | Unfiltered | June 6, 2021. I work for a reknowned classical theatre company, located next to a beautiful river filled with waterfowl for which the city is known for. Both citizens and visitors to the city enjoy a quaint stroll along the river. We sell picnic lunches to patrons before theshow
RIGHT STORIES
Dear readers, It’s PRIDE MONTH! The first official pride parade took place in 1970 as a tribute to those who were involved in the Stonewall Riots the year before.Pride Month has only grown over the last forty years, and we’ve made a lot of progress toward the acceptance of people of all different sexualities, gender identities, and romanticinclinations.
THEY DON’T HAVE ANY WISDOM TO REMOVE! Me: “No, they do not mean the same thing! Why would you think so?”. Student: “Well, because both of those usually happen around the same time, so I thought” *Shrugs and sits down*. Me: “No, they are two totally different things. Getting your wisdom teeth removed is having actual teeth removed from your mouth.”. Student: “Wait! LAW FIRM STORIES– FUNNY & TRUE STORIES A Lawful State Of Mind. My team at work wants to record audio from phone calls, and we have been sent to talk to the lawyers to make sure we do it right. We’re discussing this via video call. Lawyer: “It’s state-by-state. Some require more warning than others.”. Coworker: “Okay, I gotta ask, I’m just curious. I’m in New York,but
SAFETY STORIES– FUNNY & TRUE STORIES An employee is helping me when another customer comes up and interrupts. Customer: “Um, hi, sorry quick question. Where do you keep your fire extinguishers?” Employee: “Residential or automotive?” Customer: “Well, there’s a car on fire in the parking lot, so whatever’s good RUDE & RISQUE STORIES– FUNNY & TRUE Grandmas Are The Breast. My grandma was something else. Feared by all, she took no s*** in life and was, in a word, iconic. When I was a teenager, I was at my grandma’s house so I could go swimming at her pool. When I finished, my dad told me to go down to the house and say thank you to my grandma. I went down and saw she was on her backLEGAL STORIES
The suspect’s defense attorney is diligent and tries hard but keeps getting undercut by her client’s perpetually-changing story. Suspect: “It wasn’t me.” “The car was being borrowed by my mom, and it wasn’t there. My mom took the car to work.” “Someone else was in the car.” “I POPULAR – FUNNY & TRUE STORIES (The ISP I work for recently made a drive about their new modem. It is marketed as being the easiest wireless system on the market. Unfortunately, the system isn’t that great and I have received 27 calls that day alone about malfunctioning modems.) THE SIGH OF RELIEF HEARD AROUND THE WORLD 1 day ago · The Sigh Of Relief Heard Around The World. I’m home from university during my first year. I’m out with some friends from my hometown, catching up over a few drinks. I get a text message from my girlfriend. I read the preview line of the message. Preview: “Oh, my God, I think I’m pregnant”. BARELY MANAGING TO MANAGE 1 day ago · We have a sales manager who is a bit of a control freak, so disorganized she couldn't find her way out of a paper bag, and highly insecure. She likes the perception of looking busy and like she is on top of things, and as a result often blames others for her being unable to complete certain tasks. MASKED BY CORPORATE REASONING 11 hours ago · I live in an area where masks are a touchy topic. The majority of people don’t like them, and we don’t have a mask mandate, but I deliver groceries and most of HER DEMEANOR SHATTERS LIKE GLASS 9 hours ago · It’s the first day I’m covering a shift on my own at my first job ever in a bakery. I work at a takeaway stall which is outside and right in front of the main entrance of the bakery. NOT IN RECEIPT OF ANY EMPATHY I work as a volunteer for a charity shop that helps people in other parts of the world. During lockdown due to the health crisis, we had a new till system put into our building. FUNNY & TRUE STORIES 1 day ago · I’m personally atheist, but my freshman year of college, my roommate was Jewish. She became one of my best friends, so naturally we were together a lot. IUNFILTERED STORIES
23 hours ago · (My mom is the manager of a retail store and doesn’t get off work until 9:00. Since my sister and I get out of school at 4:00, we stay with her at work after school unless we FUNNY & TRUE STORIES (Our hotel is near a very large, major city, so a lot of tourists like to go visit it. Like any large cities, it's hard to navigate unlessyou know it
TRENDING – FUNNY & TRUE STORIES I have submitted a few stories about my father-in-law, including this one.My father-in-law is a pretty smart man, especially when it comes to anything construction, and the company he has worked with for several decades really values him. NEWEST – FUNNY & TRUE STORIES I called in to my job at because I was new to driving and was nervous about trying to navigate through streets clogged with downed trees. Manager: “Well, we need you to come in; we’re short-staffed.”. Lesson learned for next time: just say, “I can’t leave my neighborhood,” and hang up. Sigh.WORKING STORIES
I’m a supervisor at a movie theater. We’ve just reopened about two months ago after being closed due to the health crisis. We hired four teenagers with our new group of hires about a month and a half ago. POPULAR – FUNNY & TRUE STORIES Parents/Guardians, Rude & Risque, USA, Zoo | Right | July 5, 2008. (The zoo sells these SpongeBob ice creams with gumball eyes. I overhear this mother telling her young son eating one outside one of the restaurants) Mom: “Oh look, honey, when you licked his balls you got stuff all over your face!”. 4,822. 8.UNFILTERED STORIES
Unfiltered Story #236022. Canada, Ontario, Theater | Unfiltered | June 6, 2021. I work for a reknowned classical theatre company, located next to a beautiful river filled with waterfowl for which the city is known for. Both citizens and visitors to the city enjoy a quaint stroll along the river. We sell picnic lunches to patrons before theshow
RIGHT STORIES
Dear readers, It’s PRIDE MONTH! The first official pride parade took place in 1970 as a tribute to those who were involved in the Stonewall Riots the year before.Pride Month has only grown over the last forty years, and we’ve made a lot of progress toward the acceptance of people of all different sexualities, gender identities, and romanticinclinations.
THEY DON’T HAVE ANY WISDOM TO REMOVE! Me: “No, they do not mean the same thing! Why would you think so?”. Student: “Well, because both of those usually happen around the same time, so I thought” *Shrugs and sits down*. Me: “No, they are two totally different things. Getting your wisdom teeth removed is having actual teeth removed from your mouth.”. Student: “Wait! LAW FIRM STORIES– FUNNY & TRUE STORIES A Lawful State Of Mind. My team at work wants to record audio from phone calls, and we have been sent to talk to the lawyers to make sure we do it right. We’re discussing this via video call. Lawyer: “It’s state-by-state. Some require more warning than others.”. Coworker: “Okay, I gotta ask, I’m just curious. I’m in New York,but
SAFETY STORIES– FUNNY & TRUE STORIES An employee is helping me when another customer comes up and interrupts. Customer: “Um, hi, sorry quick question. Where do you keep your fire extinguishers?” Employee: “Residential or automotive?” Customer: “Well, there’s a car on fire in the parking lot, so whatever’s good RUDE & RISQUE STORIES– FUNNY & TRUE Grandmas Are The Breast. My grandma was something else. Feared by all, she took no s*** in life and was, in a word, iconic. When I was a teenager, I was at my grandma’s house so I could go swimming at her pool. When I finished, my dad told me to go down to the house and say thank you to my grandma. I went down and saw she was on her back TRENDING – FUNNY & TRUE STORIES I have submitted a few stories about my father-in-law, including this one.My father-in-law is a pretty smart man, especially when it comes to anything construction, and the company he has worked with for several decades really values him. NEWEST – FUNNY & TRUE STORIES I called in to my job at because I was new to driving and was nervous about trying to navigate through streets clogged with downed trees. Manager: “Well, we need you to come in; we’re short-staffed.”. Lesson learned for next time: just say, “I can’t leave my neighborhood,” and hang up. Sigh.WORKING STORIES
I’m a supervisor at a movie theater. We’ve just reopened about two months ago after being closed due to the health crisis. We hired four teenagers with our new group of hires about a month and a half ago. POPULAR – FUNNY & TRUE STORIES Parents/Guardians, Rude & Risque, USA, Zoo | Right | July 5, 2008. (The zoo sells these SpongeBob ice creams with gumball eyes. I overhear this mother telling her young son eating one outside one of the restaurants) Mom: “Oh look, honey, when you licked his balls you got stuff all over your face!”. 4,822. 8.UNFILTERED STORIES
Unfiltered Story #236022. Canada, Ontario, Theater | Unfiltered | June 6, 2021. I work for a reknowned classical theatre company, located next to a beautiful river filled with waterfowl for which the city is known for. Both citizens and visitors to the city enjoy a quaint stroll along the river. We sell picnic lunches to patrons before theshow
RIGHT STORIES
Dear readers, It’s PRIDE MONTH! The first official pride parade took place in 1970 as a tribute to those who were involved in the Stonewall Riots the year before.Pride Month has only grown over the last forty years, and we’ve made a lot of progress toward the acceptance of people of all different sexualities, gender identities, and romanticinclinations.
THEY DON’T HAVE ANY WISDOM TO REMOVE! Me: “No, they do not mean the same thing! Why would you think so?”. Student: “Well, because both of those usually happen around the same time, so I thought” *Shrugs and sits down*. Me: “No, they are two totally different things. Getting your wisdom teeth removed is having actual teeth removed from your mouth.”. Student: “Wait! LAW FIRM STORIES– FUNNY & TRUE STORIES A Lawful State Of Mind. My team at work wants to record audio from phone calls, and we have been sent to talk to the lawyers to make sure we do it right. We’re discussing this via video call. Lawyer: “It’s state-by-state. Some require more warning than others.”. Coworker: “Okay, I gotta ask, I’m just curious. I’m in New York,but
SAFETY STORIES– FUNNY & TRUE STORIES An employee is helping me when another customer comes up and interrupts. Customer: “Um, hi, sorry quick question. Where do you keep your fire extinguishers?” Employee: “Residential or automotive?” Customer: “Well, there’s a car on fire in the parking lot, so whatever’s good RUDE & RISQUE STORIES– FUNNY & TRUE Grandmas Are The Breast. My grandma was something else. Feared by all, she took no s*** in life and was, in a word, iconic. When I was a teenager, I was at my grandma’s house so I could go swimming at her pool. When I finished, my dad told me to go down to the house and say thank you to my grandma. I went down and saw she was on her backLEGAL STORIES
The suspect’s defense attorney is diligent and tries hard but keeps getting undercut by her client’s perpetually-changing story. Suspect: “It wasn’t me.” “The car was being borrowed by my mom, and it wasn’t there. My mom took the car to work.” “Someone else was in the car.” “I POPULAR – FUNNY & TRUE STORIES (The ISP I work for recently made a drive about their new modem. It is marketed as being the easiest wireless system on the market. Unfortunately, the system isn’t that great and I have received 27 calls that day alone about malfunctioning modems.) THE SIGH OF RELIEF HEARD AROUND THE WORLD 1 day ago · The Sigh Of Relief Heard Around The World. I’m home from university during my first year. I’m out with some friends from my hometown, catching up over a few drinks. I get a text message from my girlfriend. I read the preview line of the message. Preview: “Oh, my God, I think I’m pregnant”. BARELY MANAGING TO MANAGE 1 day ago · We have a sales manager who is a bit of a control freak, so disorganized she couldn't find her way out of a paper bag, and highly insecure. She likes the perception of looking busy and like she is on top of things, and as a result often blames others for her being unable to complete certain tasks. MASKED BY CORPORATE REASONING 8 hours ago · I live in an area where masks are a touchy topic. The majority of people don’t like them, and we don’t have a mask mandate, but I deliver groceries and most of my customers are elderly,so I
HER DEMEANOR SHATTERS LIKE GLASS 6 hours ago · It’s the first day I’m covering a shift on my own at my first job ever in a bakery. I work at a takeaway stall which is outside and right in front of the main entrance of the bakery. NOT IN RECEIPT OF ANY EMPATHY I work as a volunteer for a charity shop that helps people in other parts of the world. During lockdown due to the health crisis, we had a new till system put into our building. FUNNY & TRUE STORIES 23 hours ago · I’m personally atheist, but my freshman year of college, my roommate was Jewish. She became one of my best friends, so naturally we were together a lot. IUNFILTERED STORIES
20 hours ago · (My mom is the manager of a retail store and doesn’t get off work until 9:00. Since my sister and I get out of school at 4:00, we stay with her at work after school unless we FUNNY & TRUE STORIES (Our hotel is near a very large, major city, so a lot of tourists like to go visit it. Like any large cities, it's hard to navigate unlessyou know it
TRENDING – FUNNY & TRUE STORIES I have submitted a few stories about my father-in-law, including this one.My father-in-law is a pretty smart man, especially when it comes to anything construction, and the company he has worked with for several decades really values him. NEWEST – FUNNY & TRUE STORIES I called in to my job at because I was new to driving and was nervous about trying to navigate through streets clogged with downed trees. Manager: “Well, we need you to come in; we’re short-staffed.”. Lesson learned for next time: just say, “I can’t leave my neighborhood,” and hang up. Sigh.WORKING STORIES
I’m a supervisor at a movie theater. We’ve just reopened about two months ago after being closed due to the health crisis. We hired four teenagers with our new group of hires about a month and a half ago. POPULAR – FUNNY & TRUE STORIES Parents/Guardians, Rude & Risque, USA, Zoo | Right | July 5, 2008. (The zoo sells these SpongeBob ice creams with gumball eyes. I overhear this mother telling her young son eating one outside one of the restaurants) Mom: “Oh look, honey, when you licked his balls you got stuff all over your face!”. 4,822. 8.UNFILTERED STORIES
Unfiltered Story #236022. Canada, Ontario, Theater | Unfiltered | June 6, 2021. I work for a reknowned classical theatre company, located next to a beautiful river filled with waterfowl for which the city is known for. Both citizens and visitors to the city enjoy a quaint stroll along the river. We sell picnic lunches to patrons before theshow
RIGHT STORIES
Dear readers, It’s PRIDE MONTH! The first official pride parade took place in 1970 as a tribute to those who were involved in the Stonewall Riots the year before.Pride Month has only grown over the last forty years, and we’ve made a lot of progress toward the acceptance of people of all different sexualities, gender identities, and romanticinclinations.
THEY DON’T HAVE ANY WISDOM TO REMOVE! Me: “No, they do not mean the same thing! Why would you think so?”. Student: “Well, because both of those usually happen around the same time, so I thought” *Shrugs and sits down*. Me: “No, they are two totally different things. Getting your wisdom teeth removed is having actual teeth removed from your mouth.”. Student: “Wait! LAW FIRM STORIES– FUNNY & TRUE STORIES A Lawful State Of Mind. My team at work wants to record audio from phone calls, and we have been sent to talk to the lawyers to make sure we do it right. We’re discussing this via video call. Lawyer: “It’s state-by-state. Some require more warning than others.”. Coworker: “Okay, I gotta ask, I’m just curious. I’m in New York,but
SAFETY STORIES– FUNNY & TRUE STORIES An employee is helping me when another customer comes up and interrupts. Customer: “Um, hi, sorry quick question. Where do you keep your fire extinguishers?” Employee: “Residential or automotive?” Customer: “Well, there’s a car on fire in the parking lot, so whatever’s good RUDE & RISQUE STORIES– FUNNY & TRUE Grandmas Are The Breast. My grandma was something else. Feared by all, she took no s*** in life and was, in a word, iconic. When I was a teenager, I was at my grandma’s house so I could go swimming at her pool. When I finished, my dad told me to go down to the house and say thank you to my grandma. I went down and saw she was on her back TRENDING – FUNNY & TRUE STORIES I have submitted a few stories about my father-in-law, including this one.My father-in-law is a pretty smart man, especially when it comes to anything construction, and the company he has worked with for several decades really values him. NEWEST – FUNNY & TRUE STORIES I called in to my job at because I was new to driving and was nervous about trying to navigate through streets clogged with downed trees. Manager: “Well, we need you to come in; we’re short-staffed.”. Lesson learned for next time: just say, “I can’t leave my neighborhood,” and hang up. Sigh.WORKING STORIES
I’m a supervisor at a movie theater. We’ve just reopened about two months ago after being closed due to the health crisis. We hired four teenagers with our new group of hires about a month and a half ago. POPULAR – FUNNY & TRUE STORIES Parents/Guardians, Rude & Risque, USA, Zoo | Right | July 5, 2008. (The zoo sells these SpongeBob ice creams with gumball eyes. I overhear this mother telling her young son eating one outside one of the restaurants) Mom: “Oh look, honey, when you licked his balls you got stuff all over your face!”. 4,822. 8.UNFILTERED STORIES
Unfiltered Story #236022. Canada, Ontario, Theater | Unfiltered | June 6, 2021. I work for a reknowned classical theatre company, located next to a beautiful river filled with waterfowl for which the city is known for. Both citizens and visitors to the city enjoy a quaint stroll along the river. We sell picnic lunches to patrons before theshow
RIGHT STORIES
Dear readers, It’s PRIDE MONTH! The first official pride parade took place in 1970 as a tribute to those who were involved in the Stonewall Riots the year before.Pride Month has only grown over the last forty years, and we’ve made a lot of progress toward the acceptance of people of all different sexualities, gender identities, and romanticinclinations.
THEY DON’T HAVE ANY WISDOM TO REMOVE! Me: “No, they do not mean the same thing! Why would you think so?”. Student: “Well, because both of those usually happen around the same time, so I thought” *Shrugs and sits down*. Me: “No, they are two totally different things. Getting your wisdom teeth removed is having actual teeth removed from your mouth.”. Student: “Wait! LAW FIRM STORIES– FUNNY & TRUE STORIES A Lawful State Of Mind. My team at work wants to record audio from phone calls, and we have been sent to talk to the lawyers to make sure we do it right. We’re discussing this via video call. Lawyer: “It’s state-by-state. Some require more warning than others.”. Coworker: “Okay, I gotta ask, I’m just curious. I’m in New York,but
SAFETY STORIES– FUNNY & TRUE STORIES An employee is helping me when another customer comes up and interrupts. Customer: “Um, hi, sorry quick question. Where do you keep your fire extinguishers?” Employee: “Residential or automotive?” Customer: “Well, there’s a car on fire in the parking lot, so whatever’s good RUDE & RISQUE STORIES– FUNNY & TRUE Grandmas Are The Breast. My grandma was something else. Feared by all, she took no s*** in life and was, in a word, iconic. When I was a teenager, I was at my grandma’s house so I could go swimming at her pool. When I finished, my dad told me to go down to the house and say thank you to my grandma. I went down and saw she was on her backLEGAL STORIES
The suspect’s defense attorney is diligent and tries hard but keeps getting undercut by her client’s perpetually-changing story. Suspect: “It wasn’t me.” “The car was being borrowed by my mom, and it wasn’t there. My mom took the car to work.” “Someone else was in the car.” “I POPULAR – FUNNY & TRUE STORIES (The ISP I work for recently made a drive about their new modem. It is marketed as being the easiest wireless system on the market. Unfortunately, the system isn’t that great and I have received 27 calls that day alone about malfunctioning modems.) THE SIGH OF RELIEF HEARD AROUND THE WORLD 1 day ago · The Sigh Of Relief Heard Around The World. I’m home from university during my first year. I’m out with some friends from my hometown, catching up over a few drinks. I get a text message from my girlfriend. I read the preview line of the message. Preview: “Oh, my God, I think I’m pregnant”. BARELY MANAGING TO MANAGE 1 day ago · We have a sales manager who is a bit of a control freak, so disorganized she couldn't find her way out of a paper bag, and highly insecure. She likes the perception of looking busy and like she is on top of things, and as a result often blames others for her being unable to complete certain tasks. MASKED BY CORPORATE REASONING 8 hours ago · I live in an area where masks are a touchy topic. The majority of people don’t like them, and we don’t have a mask mandate, but I deliver groceries and most of my customers are elderly,so I
HER DEMEANOR SHATTERS LIKE GLASS 6 hours ago · It’s the first day I’m covering a shift on my own at my first job ever in a bakery. I work at a takeaway stall which is outside and right in front of the main entrance of the bakery. NOT IN RECEIPT OF ANY EMPATHY I work as a volunteer for a charity shop that helps people in other parts of the world. During lockdown due to the health crisis, we had a new till system put into our building. FUNNY & TRUE STORIES 22 hours ago · I’m personally atheist, but my freshman year of college, my roommate was Jewish. She became one of my best friends, so naturally we were together a lot. IUNFILTERED STORIES
20 hours ago · (My mom is the manager of a retail store and doesn’t get off work until 9:00. Since my sister and I get out of school at 4:00, we stay with her at work after school unless we FUNNY & TRUE STORIES (Our hotel is near a very large, major city, so a lot of tourists like to go visit it. Like any large cities, it's hard to navigate unlessyou know it
TRENDING – FUNNY & TRUE STORIES My two sons just had a big quarrel with each other. I don’t know the details, but they have been all fire and brimstone with each other. It’s gone on for a week now, which has made family dinners very awkward, as they can’t be in the same room without a shouting match occurring within five minutes. NEWEST – FUNNY & TRUE STORIES I called in to my job at because I was new to driving and was nervous about trying to navigate through streets clogged with downed trees. Manager: “Well, we need you to come in; we’re short-staffed.”. Lesson learned for next time: just say, “I can’t leave my neighborhood,” and hang up. Sigh.WORKING STORIES
I have two debit cards. is attached to my checking account and is attached to my savings account. In the first week of February, I receive an POPULAR – FUNNY & TRUE STORIES Parents/Guardians, Rude & Risque, USA, Zoo | Right | July 5, 2008. (The zoo sells these SpongeBob ice creams with gumball eyes. I overhear this mother telling her young son eating one outside one of the restaurants) Mom: “Oh look, honey, when you licked his balls you got stuff all over your face!”. 4,822. 8. FUNNY & TRUE STORIES Unfiltered Story #236000. Bookstore, British Columbia, Canada | Unfiltered | June 5, 2021. One of my customers has written a book, and I’ve offered to proofread it for him. He brings it in one morning. Customer: Here comes your worst nightmare. Me: You mean worse than the one where I was being chased through a blizzard by Mikhail GorbachevLEGAL STORIES
The suspect’s defense attorney is diligent and tries hard but keeps getting undercut by her client’s perpetually-changing story. Suspect: “It wasn’t me.” “The car was being borrowed by my mom, and it wasn’t there. My mom took the car to work.” “Someoneelse
THEY DON’T HAVE ANY WISDOM TO REMOVE! Me: “No, they do not mean the same thing! Why would you think so?”. Student: “Well, because both of those usually happen around the same time, so I thought” *Shrugs and sits down*. Me: “No, they are two totally different things. Getting your wisdom teeth removed is having actual teeth removed from your mouth.”. Student: “Wait! FUNNY & TRUE STORIES Unfiltered Story #234243. Hardware Store, Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh, USA | Unfiltered | May 17, 2021. (I work at a Hardware store and for fishing license the person has to be there with his/hers drivers license or ID) Customer – “hi, I’d like to buy a fishing license for my husband’s birthday.”. Me – “Ok well we can do a fishing RUDE & RISQUE STORIES– FUNNY & TRUE Grandmas Are The Breast. My grandma was something else. Feared by all, she took no s*** in life and was, in a word, iconic. When I was a teenager, I was at my grandma’s house so I could go swimming at her pool. When I finished, my dad told me to go down to the house and say thank you to my grandma. I went down and saw she was on her back YOUR FIRST DANCE WILL BE YOUR LAST Your First Dance Will Be Your Last. I was asked to be the best man at a friend’s wedding a good twelve or so years ago. He was an ex-serviceman and she was his childhood sweetheart. I’d been friends with the groom for upwards of twenty years and known the bride for close to ten. They’d been together the better part of a decade andthey
TRENDING – FUNNY & TRUE STORIES My two sons just had a big quarrel with each other. I don’t know the details, but they have been all fire and brimstone with each other. It’s gone on for a week now, which has made family dinners very awkward, as they can’t be in the same room without a shouting match occurring within five minutes. NEWEST – FUNNY & TRUE STORIES I called in to my job at because I was new to driving and was nervous about trying to navigate through streets clogged with downed trees. Manager: “Well, we need you to come in; we’re short-staffed.”. Lesson learned for next time: just say, “I can’t leave my neighborhood,” and hang up. Sigh.WORKING STORIES
I have two debit cards. is attached to my checking account and is attached to my savings account. In the first week of February, I receive an POPULAR – FUNNY & TRUE STORIES Parents/Guardians, Rude & Risque, USA, Zoo | Right | July 5, 2008. (The zoo sells these SpongeBob ice creams with gumball eyes. I overhear this mother telling her young son eating one outside one of the restaurants) Mom: “Oh look, honey, when you licked his balls you got stuff all over your face!”. 4,822. 8. FUNNY & TRUE STORIES Unfiltered Story #236000. Bookstore, British Columbia, Canada | Unfiltered | June 5, 2021. One of my customers has written a book, and I’ve offered to proofread it for him. He brings it in one morning. Customer: Here comes your worst nightmare. Me: You mean worse than the one where I was being chased through a blizzard by Mikhail GorbachevLEGAL STORIES
The suspect’s defense attorney is diligent and tries hard but keeps getting undercut by her client’s perpetually-changing story. Suspect: “It wasn’t me.” “The car was being borrowed by my mom, and it wasn’t there. My mom took the car to work.” “Someoneelse
THEY DON’T HAVE ANY WISDOM TO REMOVE! Me: “No, they do not mean the same thing! Why would you think so?”. Student: “Well, because both of those usually happen around the same time, so I thought” *Shrugs and sits down*. Me: “No, they are two totally different things. Getting your wisdom teeth removed is having actual teeth removed from your mouth.”. Student: “Wait! FUNNY & TRUE STORIES Unfiltered Story #234243. Hardware Store, Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh, USA | Unfiltered | May 17, 2021. (I work at a Hardware store and for fishing license the person has to be there with his/hers drivers license or ID) Customer – “hi, I’d like to buy a fishing license for my husband’s birthday.”. Me – “Ok well we can do a fishing RUDE & RISQUE STORIES– FUNNY & TRUE Grandmas Are The Breast. My grandma was something else. Feared by all, she took no s*** in life and was, in a word, iconic. When I was a teenager, I was at my grandma’s house so I could go swimming at her pool. When I finished, my dad told me to go down to the house and say thank you to my grandma. I went down and saw she was on her back YOUR FIRST DANCE WILL BE YOUR LAST Your First Dance Will Be Your Last. I was asked to be the best man at a friend’s wedding a good twelve or so years ago. He was an ex-serviceman and she was his childhood sweetheart. I’d been friends with the groom for upwards of twenty years and known the bride for close to ten. They’d been together the better part of a decade andthey
RIGHT STORIES
I work in a coffee and tea shop in a shopping centre. There is a branch of the city public library housed in the same building. There are signs in the shopping centre that indicate which way the library is, but they don’t mention the fact that it has a separate entrance;you have to
LEARNING STORIES
My fifth-grade teacher gave the whole class a dollar each once, and kids still complained about the amount they received. It was so disgusting to know she took money from her paycheck which isn’t even a lot, and they didn’t appreciate the money.They would have been satisfied with around three to five dollars; it’s messed up toexpect that much.
HEALTHY STORIES
Me: “Yes, please. I would like a hot chocolate.”. A bit later, the nurse returns with a large cup and hands it to me. Nurse: “Here! I brought you a fresh strawberry mango smoothie. Much better than that sewer drink.”. Me: “Oh, uh, thank you, but no, thank you. I—”.ROMANTIC STORIES
There is one particular actor who, for whatever reason, my brain absolutely refuses to record the name of. I have seen him in at least a dozen movies, in a broad range ofFRIENDLY STORIES
It was the middle of the night, and all was quiet in the cul-de-sac of the family home. I was tucked up asleep in my room with our cat purring on my pillow, my sister was off in dreamland in her sleepout in the back garden, and my parents were happily away in snoozetown in their shared bed. The time was around 2:00 am when something startledmy
RELATED STORIES
Grandma: “Ya got nice boobs. Much nicer than your older sister’s, anyway. I remember when she was a little girl, she used to go around telling people she wanted big boobs like your mom.”. She took another drag off the cigarette. Grandma: “Meanwhile, she didn’t even have little fried eggs yet. “.UNFILTERED STORIES
Unfiltered Story #236022. Canada, Ontario, Theater | Unfiltered | June 6, 2021. I work for a reknowned classical theatre company, located next to a beautiful river filled with waterfowl for which the city is known for. Both citizens and visitors to the city enjoy a quaint stroll along the river. We sell picnic lunches to patrons before theshow
CUSTOMER SERVICE ISN’T FOR EVERYONE I apply for a restaurant job through a temp agency. The agency invites me to come to an application session in Rotterdam, so I take public transport there from my hometown. IN SOVIET AMERICA, COMMUNISM ACCUSES YOU! 14 hours ago · My family runs a small takeout place. We are open on July 4 th.. Customer: “Why are you open today? That’s practically un-American!” Me: “Our family will get together tonight and enjoy each other’s company.” Customer: “You’re all communists for being open today! It’s treason! You should be closed for theholiday!”
NOT IN RECEIPT OF ANY EMPATHY I work as a volunteer for a charity shop that helps people in other parts of the world. During lockdown due to the health crisis, we had a new till system put into our building. TRENDING – FUNNY & TRUE STORIES My job sometimes means hand-delivering scientific equipment across the country. I often use the train as it’s safer for the equipment, but occasionally this leaves me waiting around for hours for the next train back. I find out the next train home is cancelled, meaning an even longer wait than normal, when I realise that there is an art museum nearby and it’s free admission! NEWEST – FUNNY & TRUE STORIES I called in to my job at because I was new to driving and was nervous about trying to navigate through streets clogged with downed trees. Manager: “Well, we need you to come in; we’re short-staffed.”. Lesson learned for next time: just say, “I can’t leave my neighborhood,” and hang up. Sigh.WORKING STORIES
My husband and I have decided to run to our local convenience store for some late-night snacks. They’ve recently started selling a two-pack of mochi ice cream and it’s a treat I’m pretty fond of, so I grab a pack and take it up to the counter where the cashier starts ringing us out.LEARNING STORIES
My fifth-grade teacher gave the whole class a dollar each once, and kids still complained about the amount they received. It was so disgusting to know she took money from her paycheck which isn’t even a lot, and they didn’t appreciate the money.They would have been satisfied with around three to five dollars; it’s messed up toexpect that much.
HEALTHY STORIES
Quacktose Intolerant. When I am a teenager, I have pain in my abdomen. After six months of running around different departments, it is established that I could be lactose intolerant. Doctor: “I suggest you visit a dietitian to make sure everything goes okay as you cut milk out of your diet.FRIENDLY STORIES
It was the middle of the night, and all was quiet in the cul-de-sac of the family home. I was tucked up asleep in my room with our cat purring on my pillow, my sister was off in dreamland in her sleepout in the back garden, and my parents were happily away in snoozetown in their shared bed. The time was around 2:00 am when something startledmy
LEGAL STORIES
The suspect’s defense attorney is diligent and tries hard but keeps getting undercut by her client’s perpetually-changing story. Suspect: “It wasn’t me.” “The car was being borrowed by my mom, and it wasn’t there. My mom took the car to work.” “Someoneelse
RELATED STORIES
Grandma: “Ya got nice boobs. Much nicer than your older sister’s, anyway. I remember when she was a little girl, she used to go around telling people she wanted big boobs like your mom.”. She took another drag off the cigarette. Grandma: “Meanwhile, she didn’t even have little fried eggs yet. “.ROMANTIC STORIES
There is one particular actor who, for whatever reason, my brain absolutely refuses to record the name of. I have seen him in at least a dozen movies, in a broad range ofUNFILTERED STORIES
Every year our shopping center has a big event that takes up a section of the parking lot. On a busy day parking is terrible anyway, so during this event it is event worse, but the shopping center does what they can by opening up additional parking across the street and having a troIley go around taking people to and from. TRENDING – FUNNY & TRUE STORIES My job sometimes means hand-delivering scientific equipment across the country. I often use the train as it’s safer for the equipment, but occasionally this leaves me waiting around for hours for the next train back. I find out the next train home is cancelled, meaning an even longer wait than normal, when I realise that there is an art museum nearby and it’s free admission! NEWEST – FUNNY & TRUE STORIES I called in to my job at because I was new to driving and was nervous about trying to navigate through streets clogged with downed trees. Manager: “Well, we need you to come in; we’re short-staffed.”. Lesson learned for next time: just say, “I can’t leave my neighborhood,” and hang up. Sigh.WORKING STORIES
My husband and I have decided to run to our local convenience store for some late-night snacks. They’ve recently started selling a two-pack of mochi ice cream and it’s a treat I’m pretty fond of, so I grab a pack and take it up to the counter where the cashier starts ringing us out.LEARNING STORIES
My fifth-grade teacher gave the whole class a dollar each once, and kids still complained about the amount they received. It was so disgusting to know she took money from her paycheck which isn’t even a lot, and they didn’t appreciate the money.They would have been satisfied with around three to five dollars; it’s messed up toexpect that much.
HEALTHY STORIES
Quacktose Intolerant. When I am a teenager, I have pain in my abdomen. After six months of running around different departments, it is established that I could be lactose intolerant. Doctor: “I suggest you visit a dietitian to make sure everything goes okay as you cut milk out of your diet.FRIENDLY STORIES
It was the middle of the night, and all was quiet in the cul-de-sac of the family home. I was tucked up asleep in my room with our cat purring on my pillow, my sister was off in dreamland in her sleepout in the back garden, and my parents were happily away in snoozetown in their shared bed. The time was around 2:00 am when something startledmy
LEGAL STORIES
The suspect’s defense attorney is diligent and tries hard but keeps getting undercut by her client’s perpetually-changing story. Suspect: “It wasn’t me.” “The car was being borrowed by my mom, and it wasn’t there. My mom took the car to work.” “Someoneelse
RELATED STORIES
Grandma: “Ya got nice boobs. Much nicer than your older sister’s, anyway. I remember when she was a little girl, she used to go around telling people she wanted big boobs like your mom.”. She took another drag off the cigarette. Grandma: “Meanwhile, she didn’t even have little fried eggs yet. “.ROMANTIC STORIES
There is one particular actor who, for whatever reason, my brain absolutely refuses to record the name of. I have seen him in at least a dozen movies, in a broad range ofUNFILTERED STORIES
Every year our shopping center has a big event that takes up a section of the parking lot. On a busy day parking is terrible anyway, so during this event it is event worse, but the shopping center does what they can by opening up additional parking across the street and having a troIley go around taking people to and from.RIGHT STORIES
Running Out Of Excuses. A woman comes into our high-end shoe store with her daughter and young grandson and granddaughter. The little girl starts running around, so one of the salespeople approaches. Salesperson: *Politely* “Please stop running before you hurtyourself.”.
POPULAR – FUNNY & TRUE STORIES Parents/Guardians, Rude & Risque, USA, Zoo | Right | July 5, 2008. (The zoo sells these SpongeBob ice creams with gumball eyes. I overhear this mother telling her young son eating one outside one of the restaurants) Mom: “Oh look, honey, when you licked his balls you got stuff all over your face!”. 4,822. 8.LEARNING STORIES
My fifth-grade teacher gave the whole class a dollar each once, and kids still complained about the amount they received. It was so disgusting to know she took money from her paycheck which isn’t even a lot, and they didn’t appreciate the money.They would have been satisfied with around three to five dollars; it’s messed up toexpect that much.
BEST STORIES
(During the Christmas season, our large bookstore gets awfully busy. The phone rings.) Me: “Hello, this is ; how can I help you?” Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for a book.” Me: “Sure, I can help you out. Do you know the title?” Customer: “Okay, so, the book is about a bunny rabbit and I used to read it when I was a kid. It had a pink cover.” CHURCH STORIES– FUNNY & TRUE STORIES Church, Funny Kids, Italy, Students, Wordplay | Learning | May 30, 2021. This happens during a catechism lesson when all the kids are drawing or otherwise occupied with manual activities. My daughter, who’s six or seven, is a combination of sheltered and curious and has no filter whatsoever. Daughter: “If coffee contains caffeine andtea
RIGHT STORIES
My job sometimes means hand-delivering scientific equipment across the country. I often use the train as it’s safer for the equipment, but occasionally this leaves me waiting around for hours for the next train back. I find out the next train home is cancelled, meaning an even longer wait than normal, when I realise that there is an art museum nearby and it’s free admission! CUSTOMER SERVICE ISN’T FOR EVERYONE 1 day ago · I apply for a restaurant job through a temp agency. The agency invites me to come to an application session in Rotterdam, so I take public transport there from my hometown. FUNNY & TRUE STORIES 14 hours ago · I feel like some people have never been to a fast food place when they order the weirdest things. A female customer walks in, and I get ready to take her THEY DON’T HAVE ANY WISDOM TO REMOVE! Why would you think so?”. Student: “Well, because both of those usually happen around the same time, so I thought” *Shrugs and sits down*. Me: “No, they are two totally different things. Getting your wisdom teeth removed is having actual teeth removed from your mouth.”. Student: “Wait! Wisdom teeth are actual teeth?!”. HIGH EXPECTATIONS FOR THAT MOCHI My husband and I have decided to run to our local convenience store for some late-night snacks. They’ve recently started selling a two-pack of mochi ice cream and it’s a treat I’m pretty fond of, so I grab a pack and take it up to the counter where the cashier starts ringing us out. TRENDING – FUNNY & TRUE STORIES My job sometimes means hand-delivering scientific equipment across the country. I often use the train as it’s safer for the equipment, but occasionally this leaves me waiting around for hours for the next train back. I find out the next train home is cancelled, meaning an even longer wait than normal, when I realise that there is an art museum nearby and it’s free admission! NEWEST – FUNNY & TRUE STORIES I called in to my job at because I was new to driving and was nervous about trying to navigate through streets clogged with downed trees. Manager: “Well, we need you to come in; we’re short-staffed.”. Lesson learned for next time: just say, “I can’t leave my neighborhood,” and hang up. Sigh.WORKING STORIES
My husband and I have decided to run to our local convenience store for some late-night snacks. They’ve recently started selling a two-pack of mochi ice cream and it’s a treat I’m pretty fond of, so I grab a pack and take it up to the counter where the cashier starts ringing us out.LEARNING STORIES
My fifth-grade teacher gave the whole class a dollar each once, and kids still complained about the amount they received. It was so disgusting to know she took money from her paycheck which isn’t even a lot, and they didn’t appreciate the money.They would have been satisfied with around three to five dollars; it’s messed up toexpect that much.
HEALTHY STORIES
Quacktose Intolerant. When I am a teenager, I have pain in my abdomen. After six months of running around different departments, it is established that I could be lactose intolerant. Doctor: “I suggest you visit a dietitian to make sure everything goes okay as you cut milk out of your diet.FRIENDLY STORIES
It was the middle of the night, and all was quiet in the cul-de-sac of the family home. I was tucked up asleep in my room with our cat purring on my pillow, my sister was off in dreamland in her sleepout in the back garden, and my parents were happily away in snoozetown in their shared bed. The time was around 2:00 am when something startledmy
LEGAL STORIES
The suspect’s defense attorney is diligent and tries hard but keeps getting undercut by her client’s perpetually-changing story. Suspect: “It wasn’t me.” “The car was being borrowed by my mom, and it wasn’t there. My mom took the car to work.” “Someoneelse
RELATED STORIES
Grandma: “Ya got nice boobs. Much nicer than your older sister’s, anyway. I remember when she was a little girl, she used to go around telling people she wanted big boobs like your mom.”. She took another drag off the cigarette. Grandma: “Meanwhile, she didn’t even have little fried eggs yet. “.ROMANTIC STORIES
There is one particular actor who, for whatever reason, my brain absolutely refuses to record the name of. I have seen him in at least a dozen movies, in a broad range ofUNFILTERED STORIES
Every year our shopping center has a big event that takes up a section of the parking lot. On a busy day parking is terrible anyway, so during this event it is event worse, but the shopping center does what they can by opening up additional parking across the street and having a troIley go around taking people to and from. TRENDING – FUNNY & TRUE STORIES My job sometimes means hand-delivering scientific equipment across the country. I often use the train as it’s safer for the equipment, but occasionally this leaves me waiting around for hours for the next train back. I find out the next train home is cancelled, meaning an even longer wait than normal, when I realise that there is an art museum nearby and it’s free admission! NEWEST – FUNNY & TRUE STORIES I called in to my job at because I was new to driving and was nervous about trying to navigate through streets clogged with downed trees. Manager: “Well, we need you to come in; we’re short-staffed.”. Lesson learned for next time: just say, “I can’t leave my neighborhood,” and hang up. Sigh.WORKING STORIES
My husband and I have decided to run to our local convenience store for some late-night snacks. They’ve recently started selling a two-pack of mochi ice cream and it’s a treat I’m pretty fond of, so I grab a pack and take it up to the counter where the cashier starts ringing us out.LEARNING STORIES
My fifth-grade teacher gave the whole class a dollar each once, and kids still complained about the amount they received. It was so disgusting to know she took money from her paycheck which isn’t even a lot, and they didn’t appreciate the money.They would have been satisfied with around three to five dollars; it’s messed up toexpect that much.
HEALTHY STORIES
Quacktose Intolerant. When I am a teenager, I have pain in my abdomen. After six months of running around different departments, it is established that I could be lactose intolerant. Doctor: “I suggest you visit a dietitian to make sure everything goes okay as you cut milk out of your diet.FRIENDLY STORIES
It was the middle of the night, and all was quiet in the cul-de-sac of the family home. I was tucked up asleep in my room with our cat purring on my pillow, my sister was off in dreamland in her sleepout in the back garden, and my parents were happily away in snoozetown in their shared bed. The time was around 2:00 am when something startledmy
LEGAL STORIES
The suspect’s defense attorney is diligent and tries hard but keeps getting undercut by her client’s perpetually-changing story. Suspect: “It wasn’t me.” “The car was being borrowed by my mom, and it wasn’t there. My mom took the car to work.” “Someoneelse
RELATED STORIES
Grandma: “Ya got nice boobs. Much nicer than your older sister’s, anyway. I remember when she was a little girl, she used to go around telling people she wanted big boobs like your mom.”. She took another drag off the cigarette. Grandma: “Meanwhile, she didn’t even have little fried eggs yet. “.ROMANTIC STORIES
There is one particular actor who, for whatever reason, my brain absolutely refuses to record the name of. I have seen him in at least a dozen movies, in a broad range ofUNFILTERED STORIES
Every year our shopping center has a big event that takes up a section of the parking lot. On a busy day parking is terrible anyway, so during this event it is event worse, but the shopping center does what they can by opening up additional parking across the street and having a troIley go around taking people to and from.RIGHT STORIES
I was having a garage sale. This was stuff that probably even a thrift store would not want, just junk I had around for too many years. I had stuff on tables and in boxes with essentially giveaway prices: a twenty-five-cent table, boxes of ten-cent stuff, even boxes of free stuff, and very few things like hardback books for fifty cents or adollar.
LEARNING STORIES
My fifth-grade teacher gave the whole class a dollar each once, and kids still complained about the amount they received. It was so disgusting to know she took money from her paycheck which isn’t even a lot, and they didn’t appreciate the money.They would have been satisfied with around three to five dollars; it’s messed up toexpect that much.
POPULAR – FUNNY & TRUE STORIES Parents/Guardians, Rude & Risque, USA, Zoo | Right | July 5, 2008. (The zoo sells these SpongeBob ice creams with gumball eyes. I overhear this mother telling her young son eating one outside one of the restaurants) Mom: “Oh look, honey, when you licked his balls you got stuff all over your face!”. 4,822. 8.RIGHT STORIES
My job sometimes means hand-delivering scientific equipment across the country. I often use the train as it’s safer for the equipment, but occasionally this leaves me waiting around for hours for the next train back. I find out the next train home is cancelled, meaning an even longer wait than normal, when I realise that there is an art museum nearby and it’s free admission! CHURCH STORIES– FUNNY & TRUE STORIES Church, Funny Kids, Italy, Students, Wordplay | Learning | May 30, 2021. This happens during a catechism lesson when all the kids are drawing or otherwise occupied with manual activities. My daughter, who’s six or seven, is a combination of sheltered and curious and has no filter whatsoever. Daughter: “If coffee contains caffeine andtea
CUSTOMER SERVICE ISN’T FOR EVERYONE 20 hours ago · I apply for a restaurant job through a temp agency. The agency invites me to come to an application session in Rotterdam, so I take public transport there from my hometown. ENTITLEMENT AND A SIDE OF KETCHUP 23 hours ago · I work at a casual restaurant where you seat yourself. An older man comes up to me to ask a question. Customer: “Hey, so we are about to get our food and I want to sit at that table.” *Points at an occupied table* “Can you ask them to sit somewhere else?” Me: “Excuse me?” Customer: “I want to sit at that table. They are just waiting so it doesn’t matter; just makethem wait
THE PORTION IS GROWING, NOT SHRIMPING A customer walks to the counter. Before I can even acknowledge her, she starts looking around and frantically waving to get someone’sattention.
THEY DON’T HAVE ANY WISDOM TO REMOVE! Why would you think so?”. Student: “Well, because both of those usually happen around the same time, so I thought” *Shrugs and sits down*. Me: “No, they are two totally different things. Getting your wisdom teeth removed is having actual teeth removed from your mouth.”. Student: “Wait! Wisdom teeth are actual teeth?!”. HIGH EXPECTATIONS FOR THAT MOCHI My husband and I have decided to run to our local convenience store for some late-night snacks. They’ve recently started selling a two-pack of mochi ice cream and it’s a treat I’m pretty fond of, so I grab a pack and take it up to the counter where the cashier starts ringing us out. Report AdvertisementSEARCH
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WORSE THAN SEEING A SCAM COMING A MILE AWAY IS NOT BEING ABLE TO DOANYTHING ABOUT IT
Convenience Store
, Fleetwood
, Food & Drink
, Liars/Scammers
, Non-Dialogue
, Pennsylvania
, USA
| Right
| August 29, 2019
I have been working in the food preparation area of our store for quite some time, and I am on an overnight shift. Besides me, there is a person on register, and a manager who is very friendly, but follows the rules. A couple comes in with their three younger children aroundmidnight.
The father orders a foot-long sub for each person, and when I see the order, each sub has the same meat on it, but everything else — veggies, dressings, and cheese — is different. I already know what this is leading to, so I am very careful since the store is empty. I do each sub separately, printing out the tickets ahead of time and taping the ticket to the corresponding sub when I’m done with it. Finally, all five subs are finished and I call the number. The father picks up the subs and the family leaves the store. I immediately rush a second set of the same tickets back to the manager, and she nods when she sees the order. The customer returns just as I am walking out of the back and asks the cashier to see the manager. Our manager comes out, and the father shows her the subs. I notice they have moved the tickets around, and the father claims they are all wrong. My manager helps me make a second round of the exact same subs, and refunds the cost to the man: $30. He walks out with free subs, and we have to log everything on the subs as waste and throw them in thegarbage.
I look at my manager after we’ve finished, saying that I hate somepeople.
She sighs, and says, “Me, too.”63
31
STUPID HEARD YOU, AND STUPID ANSWEREDAssisted Living ,
Extra Stupid , Michigan, USA
| Right
| August 29, 2019
_(I’m just about finished with another day at work, with less than an hour to go, and I’m marveling to myself about the lack of stupidity today. I say goodbye to a visitor and she walks towards thedoors.)_
VISITOR: _*stands in front of the door, face inches from the glass*_ ME: _*blinks, watching her, at least ten seconds pass*_ VISITOR: _*looks back over her shoulder at me, confused look on herface*_
ME: “It’s… open?” _*head-tilt*_ VISITOR: “Oh…” _*very carefully pushes on the door and edges through it to get out*_ _(She wasn’t a new visitor. The doors have never been automatic. I think… her brain just shut off for a moment. Seriously, though, never think that you haven’t seen many stupid people that day, because the universe will send you a reminder.)_77
11
MANNERS MAKETH THEM UNCOMFORTABLEGreat Stuff , Hotel
, Jerk
, Texas
, USA
| Right
| August 29, 2019
_(I’m staying in a hotel. I have to print something, so I run down to the business center to do so. It’s right off the main lobby. While I’m waiting for my paperwork to print, I hear the lady at the front desk talking to a vendor.)_ FRONT DESK: “…and there you are, sir. Have a nice day!” VENDOR: “Don’t call me, sir!” FRONT DESK: “I’m sorry… sir.” VENDOR: “Stop that! You make me feel old when you call me ‘sir.’ I’m not old!! Why did you even call me that?!” FRONT DESK: “Because I have manners, _sir_.” _(My document finished printing at that moment. I grabbed it and ran out of the business center before I started laughing. Whoever you are, front desk lady, I hope you didn’t get in trouble, because that wasGREAT!)_
163
223
WHEN YOU’VE BEEN DOING BLACK FRIDAY FOR EIGHTY YEARS Non-Dialogue , Oklahoma, Sale
, Thrift Store
, USA
, Wild & Unruly
| Right
| August 29, 2019
It was my first week of working in a thrift store and it was our half-off sale day. People lined up outside of the store for hours prior to us opening, Black Friday style. Once the doors were opened people _ran _in, pushing and shoving to get carts and go to thefurniture section.
I looked over to our toy area and saw an 80-something-year-old woman ram a pregnant lady holding her toddler so that she could get a better look at the puzzles. I worked there for six more years.123
34
WELCOME TO APOCALYPSE-MART, PART 2 Call Center , Cardiff, Jerk
, Religion
, UK
, Wales
| Right
| August 29, 2019
_(I work in a large call center for an international grocery store. It’s my first week, and I’ve just finished helping an old ladywith her query.)_
CUSTOMER: “Thank you so much, young man! I have to ask though, young man, do you believe in our Lord Jesus Christ?” _(I remember back to my training, where I was told to avoid all religious discussion.)_ ME: “I don’t think that’s relevant to me helping you today, ma’am. Is there anything else I can help you with?” CUSTOMER: “Now, young man! I need to know if I was helped by a Christian or by a heathen!” _(I look over to my supervisor, who’s been listening in to the whole conversation. He gives me a thumbs up and a wink.)_ ME: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I am an atheist.” CUSTOMER: “_Heathen!_ You will burn in _Hell _if you do not accept the Lord as your savior! I demand to speak to your supervisor _atonce!_“
ME: “I’ll be glad to do that for you, ma’am. Give me amoment.”
_(From this point on, I can only hear my supervisor speaking…)_ SUPERVISOR: “Yes, ma’am, I hear you have a complaint about one of my employees?” _*pause*_ “I see.” _*pause*_ “That’s terrible.” _*pause*_ “I apologise, ma’am, but I’m afraid I’m going to have to terminate the call. I’ve just been told it is time for our hourly sacrifice to Satan.” _(The woman’s response is loud enough for me to hear over hisheadset.)_
CUSTOMER: “HEATHENS!” _*click*_372
122
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