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PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
Portal 2 Sounds | Announcer: Warning. Reactor core is at critical temperature. BECAUSE I'M A POTATO. Ha! I like your style. You make up your own rules, just like me. SPAAACCCCCE! Dad! I'm in space! I'm proud of you, son. Dad, TEAM FORTRESS 2 SOUNDS Listens: 27048. Who: Sniper. Each and every one of you will be sent home to your mama in a box! Listens: 26971. Who: Soldier. Imagine if I'd hadn't been drunk hehPORTAL 2 SOUNDS
Chapter 1 - The Courtesy Call - Wake Up 1. Listens: 3247. Coop Hallway 2. Listens: 3212. Chapter 9 - The Part Where He Kills You 17. Listens: 3053. Chapter 2 - The Cold Boot - Laser Stairs 2. Listens: 3038. Chapter 9 - The Part Where He Kills You 2.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
You make up your own rules, just like me. SPAAACCCCCE! Dad! I'm in space! I'm proud of you, son. Dad, are you space? Yes. Now we are a family again. Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! I'm in space!PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
YOU'RE THE MORON THEY BUILT TO MAKE ME AN IDIOT! BECAUSE I'M A POTATO. Ha! I like your style. You make up your own rules, just like me. SPAAACCCCCE! Dad! I'm in space! I'm proud of you, son. Dad, are you space? Yes. Now we are aPORTAL 2 SOUNDS
GLaDOS: Why do I hate you so much? You ever wonder that? I'm brilliant. I’m not bragging. It's an objective fact. I'm the most massive collection of wisdom that’s ever existed. And I hate you. It can't be for no reason. You must deserve it.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
GLaDOS: Remember before when I was talking about smelly garbage standing around being useless? That was a metaphor. I was actually talking about you. And I'm sorry. You didn't react at the time, so I was worried it sailed right over your head. Which would have made this apology seem insane. That's why I had to call you garbage a secondtime just now.
PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
Portal 2 Sounds | Announcer: Warning. Reactor core is at critical temperature. BECAUSE I'M A POTATO. Ha! I like your style. You make up your own rules, just like me. SPAAACCCCCE! Dad! I'm in space! I'm proud of you, son. Dad, TEAM FORTRESS 2 SOUNDS Listens: 27048. Who: Sniper. Each and every one of you will be sent home to your mama in a box! Listens: 26971. Who: Soldier. Imagine if I'd hadn't been drunk hehPORTAL 2 SOUNDS
Chapter 1 - The Courtesy Call - Wake Up 1. Listens: 3247. Coop Hallway 2. Listens: 3212. Chapter 9 - The Part Where He Kills You 17. Listens: 3053. Chapter 2 - The Cold Boot - Laser Stairs 2. Listens: 3038. Chapter 9 - The Part Where He Kills You 2.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
You make up your own rules, just like me. SPAAACCCCCE! Dad! I'm in space! I'm proud of you, son. Dad, are you space? Yes. Now we are a family again. Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! I'm in space!PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
YOU'RE THE MORON THEY BUILT TO MAKE ME AN IDIOT! BECAUSE I'M A POTATO. Ha! I like your style. You make up your own rules, just like me. SPAAACCCCCE! Dad! I'm in space! I'm proud of you, son. Dad, are you space? Yes. Now we are aPORTAL 2 SOUNDS
GLaDOS: Why do I hate you so much? You ever wonder that? I'm brilliant. I’m not bragging. It's an objective fact. I'm the most massive collection of wisdom that’s ever existed. And I hate you. It can't be for no reason. You must deserve it.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
GLaDOS: Remember before when I was talking about smelly garbage standing around being useless? That was a metaphor. I was actually talking about you. And I'm sorry. You didn't react at the time, so I was worried it sailed right over your head. Which would have made this apology seem insane. That's why I had to call you garbage a secondtime just now.
PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
One. Cube- and button-based testing remains an important tool for science, even in a dire emergency. If cube- and button-based testing caused this emergency, don't worry. The odds of this happening twice are very slim. If you are a non-employee who has discovered thisfacility amid the
PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
Chapter 1 - The Courtesy Call - Wake Up 1. Listens: 3247. Coop Hallway 2. Listens: 3212. Chapter 9 - The Part Where He Kills You 17. Listens: 3053. Chapter 2 - The Cold Boot - Laser Stairs 2. Listens: 3038. Chapter 9 - The Part Where He Kills You 2.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
Who: Core 1. I don't want this! Listens: 17801. Who: Caroline. Still, it turns out they're a great portal conductor. So now we're gonna see if jumping in and out of these new portals can somehow leech the lunar poison out of a man's bloodstream.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
Cave Johnson: Good news is, the lab boys say the symptoms of asbestos poisoning show a median latency of forty-four point six years, so if you're thirty or older, you're laughing. Worst case scenario, you miss out on a few rounds of canasta, plus you forwarded the cause of science by three centuries. I punch those numbers into my calculator, it makes a happy face.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
Cave Johnson: Science isn't about WHY. It's about WHY NOT. Why is so much of our science dangerous? Why not marry safe science if you love it so much. In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you on the butt on the way out, because you are fired.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
GLaDOS: Remember before when I was talking about smelly garbage standing around being useless? That was a metaphor. I was actually talking about you. And I'm sorry. You didn't react at the time, so I was worried it sailed right over your head. Which would have made this apology seem insane. That's why I had to call you garbage a secondtime just now.
PORTAL 1 SOUNDS
GLaDOS: Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment center.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
Portal 2 Sounds | Announcer: Warning. Reactor core is at critical temperature. BECAUSE I'M A POTATO. Ha! I like your style. You make up your own rules, just like me. SPAAACCCCCE! Dad! I'm in space! I'm proud of you, son. Dad, TEAM FORTRESS 2 SOUNDS Listens: 27048. Who: Sniper. Each and every one of you will be sent home to your mama in a box! Listens: 26971. Who: Soldier. Imagine if I'd hadn't been drunk hehPORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
Chapter 1 - The Courtesy Call - Wake Up 1. Listens: 3247. Coop Hallway 2. Listens: 3212. Chapter 9 - The Part Where He Kills You 17. Listens: 3053. Chapter 2 - The Cold Boot - Laser Stairs 2. Listens: 3038. Chapter 9 - The Part Where He Kills You 2.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
You make up your own rules, just like me. SPAAACCCCCE! Dad! I'm in space! I'm proud of you, son. Dad, are you space? Yes. Now we are a family again. Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! I'm in space!PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
YOU'RE THE MORON THEY BUILT TO MAKE ME AN IDIOT! BECAUSE I'M A POTATO. Ha! I like your style. You make up your own rules, just like me. SPAAACCCCCE! Dad! I'm in space! I'm proud of you, son. Dad, are you space? Yes. Now we are aPORTAL 2 SOUNDS
GLaDOS: Remember before when I was talking about smelly garbage standing around being useless? That was a metaphor. I was actually talking about you. And I'm sorry. You didn't react at the time, so I was worried it sailed right over your head. Which would have made this apology seem insane. That's why I had to call you garbage a secondtime just now.
PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
Cave Johnson: Science isn't about WHY. It's about WHY NOT. Why is so much of our science dangerous? Why not marry safe science if you love it so much. In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you on the butt on the way out, because you are fired.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
Portal 2 Sounds | Announcer: Warning. Reactor core is at critical temperature. BECAUSE I'M A POTATO. Ha! I like your style. You make up your own rules, just like me. SPAAACCCCCE! Dad! I'm in space! I'm proud of you, son. Dad, TEAM FORTRESS 2 SOUNDS Listens: 27048. Who: Sniper. Each and every one of you will be sent home to your mama in a box! Listens: 26971. Who: Soldier. Imagine if I'd hadn't been drunk hehPORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
Chapter 1 - The Courtesy Call - Wake Up 1. Listens: 3247. Coop Hallway 2. Listens: 3212. Chapter 9 - The Part Where He Kills You 17. Listens: 3053. Chapter 2 - The Cold Boot - Laser Stairs 2. Listens: 3038. Chapter 9 - The Part Where He Kills You 2.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
You make up your own rules, just like me. SPAAACCCCCE! Dad! I'm in space! I'm proud of you, son. Dad, are you space? Yes. Now we are a family again. Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! I'm in space!PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
YOU'RE THE MORON THEY BUILT TO MAKE ME AN IDIOT! BECAUSE I'M A POTATO. Ha! I like your style. You make up your own rules, just like me. SPAAACCCCCE! Dad! I'm in space! I'm proud of you, son. Dad, are you space? Yes. Now we are aPORTAL 2 SOUNDS
GLaDOS: Remember before when I was talking about smelly garbage standing around being useless? That was a metaphor. I was actually talking about you. And I'm sorry. You didn't react at the time, so I was worried it sailed right over your head. Which would have made this apology seem insane. That's why I had to call you garbage a secondtime just now.
PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
Cave Johnson: Science isn't about WHY. It's about WHY NOT. Why is so much of our science dangerous? Why not marry safe science if you love it so much. In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you on the butt on the way out, because you are fired.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
One. Cube- and button-based testing remains an important tool for science, even in a dire emergency. If cube- and button-based testing caused this emergency, don't worry. The odds of this happening twice are very slim. If you are a non-employee who has discovered thisfacility amid the
PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
Chapter 1 - The Courtesy Call - Wake Up 1. Listens: 3247. Coop Hallway 2. Listens: 3212. Chapter 9 - The Part Where He Kills You 17. Listens: 3053. Chapter 2 - The Cold Boot - Laser Stairs 2. Listens: 3038. Chapter 9 - The Part Where He Kills You 2.PORTAL 1 SOUNDS
Who: GLaDOS. While it has been a faithful companion, your Companion Cube cannot accompany you through the rest of the test. If it could talk - and the Enrichment Center takes this opportunity to remind you that it cannot - it would tell you to go on without it because it would rather die in a fire than become a burden to you. Listens: 8806.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
Before we start testing today, let's have our mandatory minute of silence in honor of Earth's governing body, the Sentient Cloud.Starting now.
Good, right. All hail the sentient cloud. Begin testing.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
GLaDOS: Why do I hate you so much? You ever wonder that? I'm brilliant. I’m not bragging. It's an objective fact. I'm the most massive collection of wisdom that’s ever existed. And I hate you. It can't be for no reason. You must deserve it.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
Cave Johnson: Science isn't about WHY. It's about WHY NOT. Why is so much of our science dangerous? Why not marry safe science if you love it so much. In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you on the butt on the way out, because you are fired.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
Cave Johnson: Good news is, the lab boys say the symptoms of asbestos poisoning show a median latency of forty-four point six years, so if you're thirty or older, you're laughing. Worst case scenario, you miss out on a few rounds of canasta, plus you forwarded the cause of science by three centuries. I punch those numbers into my calculator, it makes a happy face.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
Portal 2 Sounds | Announcer: Warning. Reactor core is at critical temperature. BECAUSE I'M A POTATO. Ha! I like your style. You make up your own rules, just like me. SPAAACCCCCE! Dad! I'm in space! I'm proud of you, son. Dad, TEAM FORTRESS 2 SOUNDS Listens: 27048. Who: Sniper. Each and every one of you will be sent home to your mama in a box! Listens: 26971. Who: Soldier. Imagine if I'd hadn't been drunk hehPORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
Chapter 1 - The Courtesy Call - Wake Up 1. Listens: 3247. Coop Hallway 2. Listens: 3212. Chapter 9 - The Part Where He Kills You 17. Listens: 3053. Chapter 2 - The Cold Boot - Laser Stairs 2. Listens: 3038. Chapter 9 - The Part Where He Kills You 2.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
You make up your own rules, just like me. SPAAACCCCCE! Dad! I'm in space! I'm proud of you, son. Dad, are you space? Yes. Now we are a family again. Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! I'm in space!PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
YOU'RE THE MORON THEY BUILT TO MAKE ME AN IDIOT! BECAUSE I'M A POTATO. Ha! I like your style. You make up your own rules, just like me. SPAAACCCCCE! Dad! I'm in space! I'm proud of you, son. Dad, are you space? Yes. Now we are aPORTAL 2 SOUNDS
GLaDOS: Remember before when I was talking about smelly garbage standing around being useless? That was a metaphor. I was actually talking about you. And I'm sorry. You didn't react at the time, so I was worried it sailed right over your head. Which would have made this apology seem insane. That's why I had to call you garbage a secondtime just now.
PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
Cave Johnson: Science isn't about WHY. It's about WHY NOT. Why is so much of our science dangerous? Why not marry safe science if you love it so much. In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you on the butt on the way out, because you are fired.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
Portal 2 Sounds | Announcer: Warning. Reactor core is at critical temperature. BECAUSE I'M A POTATO. Ha! I like your style. You make up your own rules, just like me. SPAAACCCCCE! Dad! I'm in space! I'm proud of you, son. Dad, TEAM FORTRESS 2 SOUNDS Listens: 27048. Who: Sniper. Each and every one of you will be sent home to your mama in a box! Listens: 26971. Who: Soldier. Imagine if I'd hadn't been drunk hehPORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
Chapter 1 - The Courtesy Call - Wake Up 1. Listens: 3247. Coop Hallway 2. Listens: 3212. Chapter 9 - The Part Where He Kills You 17. Listens: 3053. Chapter 2 - The Cold Boot - Laser Stairs 2. Listens: 3038. Chapter 9 - The Part Where He Kills You 2.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
You make up your own rules, just like me. SPAAACCCCCE! Dad! I'm in space! I'm proud of you, son. Dad, are you space? Yes. Now we are a family again. Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! I'm in space!PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
YOU'RE THE MORON THEY BUILT TO MAKE ME AN IDIOT! BECAUSE I'M A POTATO. Ha! I like your style. You make up your own rules, just like me. SPAAACCCCCE! Dad! I'm in space! I'm proud of you, son. Dad, are you space? Yes. Now we are aPORTAL 2 SOUNDS
GLaDOS: Remember before when I was talking about smelly garbage standing around being useless? That was a metaphor. I was actually talking about you. And I'm sorry. You didn't react at the time, so I was worried it sailed right over your head. Which would have made this apology seem insane. That's why I had to call you garbage a secondtime just now.
PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
Cave Johnson: Science isn't about WHY. It's about WHY NOT. Why is so much of our science dangerous? Why not marry safe science if you love it so much. In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you on the butt on the way out, because you are fired.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
One. Cube- and button-based testing remains an important tool for science, even in a dire emergency. If cube- and button-based testing caused this emergency, don't worry. The odds of this happening twice are very slim. If you are a non-employee who has discovered thisfacility amid the
PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
Chapter 1 - The Courtesy Call - Wake Up 1. Listens: 3247. Coop Hallway 2. Listens: 3212. Chapter 9 - The Part Where He Kills You 17. Listens: 3053. Chapter 2 - The Cold Boot - Laser Stairs 2. Listens: 3038. Chapter 9 - The Part Where He Kills You 2.PORTAL 1 SOUNDS
Who: GLaDOS. While it has been a faithful companion, your Companion Cube cannot accompany you through the rest of the test. If it could talk - and the Enrichment Center takes this opportunity to remind you that it cannot - it would tell you to go on without it because it would rather die in a fire than become a burden to you. Listens: 8806.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
Before we start testing today, let's have our mandatory minute of silence in honor of Earth's governing body, the Sentient Cloud.Starting now.
Good, right. All hail the sentient cloud. Begin testing.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
GLaDOS: Why do I hate you so much? You ever wonder that? I'm brilliant. I’m not bragging. It's an objective fact. I'm the most massive collection of wisdom that’s ever existed. And I hate you. It can't be for no reason. You must deserve it.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
Cave Johnson: Science isn't about WHY. It's about WHY NOT. Why is so much of our science dangerous? Why not marry safe science if you love it so much. In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you on the butt on the way out, because you are fired.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
Cave Johnson: Good news is, the lab boys say the symptoms of asbestos poisoning show a median latency of forty-four point six years, so if you're thirty or older, you're laughing. Worst case scenario, you miss out on a few rounds of canasta, plus you forwarded the cause of science by three centuries. I punch those numbers into my calculator, it makes a happy face.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog. TEAM FORTRESS 2 SOUNDS A Team Fortress 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
GLaDOS: That's funny, I don't feel corrupt. In fact, I feel prettygood.
PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
GLaDOS: Why do I hate you so much? You ever wonder that? I'm brilliant. I’m not bragging. It's an objective fact. I'm the most massive collection of wisdom that’s ever existed. And I hate you. It can't be for no reason. You must deserve it.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
GLaDOS: Remember before when I was talking about smelly garbage standing around being useless? That was a metaphor. I was actually talking about you. And I'm sorry. You didn't react at the time, so I was worried it sailed right over your head. Which would have made this apology seem insane. That's why I had to call you garbage a secondtime just now.
PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog. TEAM FORTRESS 2 SOUNDS A Team Fortress 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
GLaDOS: That's funny, I don't feel corrupt. In fact, I feel prettygood.
PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
GLaDOS: Why do I hate you so much? You ever wonder that? I'm brilliant. I’m not bragging. It's an objective fact. I'm the most massive collection of wisdom that’s ever existed. And I hate you. It can't be for no reason. You must deserve it.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
GLaDOS: Remember before when I was talking about smelly garbage standing around being useless? That was a metaphor. I was actually talking about you. And I'm sorry. You didn't react at the time, so I was worried it sailed right over your head. Which would have made this apology seem insane. That's why I had to call you garbage a secondtime just now.
PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
Good work getting this far, future-starter! That said, if you are simple-minded, old, or irradiated in such a way that the future should not start with you, please return to your primitive tribe and send back someone better-qualified for testing.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog. TEAM FORTRESS 2 SOUNDS A Team Fortress 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
GLaDOS: Why do I hate you so much? You ever wonder that? I'm brilliant. I’m not bragging. It's an objective fact. I'm the most massive collection of wisdom that’s ever existed. And I hate you. It can't be for no reason. You must deserve it.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
GLaDOS: In case you were wondering: Yes. I'm still a potato. Go away.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
Cave Johnson: Good news is, the lab boys say the symptoms of asbestos poisoning show a median latency of forty-four point six years, so if you're thirty or older, you're laughing. Worst case scenario, you miss out on a few rounds of canasta, plus you forwarded the cause of science by three centuries. I punch those numbers into my calculator, it makes a happy face.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
Cave Johnson: Science isn't about WHY. It's about WHY NOT. Why is so much of our science dangerous? Why not marry safe science if you love it so much. In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you on the butt on the way out, because you are fired.PORTAL 1 SOUNDS
GLaDOS: Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment center.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog. TEAM FORTRESS 2 SOUNDS Listens: 27048. Who: Sniper. Each and every one of you will be sent home to your mama in a box! Listens: 26971. Who: Soldier. Imagine if I'd hadn't been drunk hehPORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
YOU'RE THE MORON THEY BUILT TO MAKE ME AN IDIOT! BECAUSE I'M A POTATO. Ha! I like your style. You make up your own rules, just like me. SPAAACCCCCE! Dad! I'm in space! I'm proud of you, son. Dad, are you space? Yes. Now we are aPORTAL 2 SOUNDS
You make up your own rules, just like me. SPAAACCCCCE! Dad! I'm in space! I'm proud of you, son. Dad, are you space? Yes. Now we are a family again. Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! I'm in space!PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
GLaDOS: Why do I hate you so much? You ever wonder that? I'm brilliant. I’m not bragging. It's an objective fact. I'm the most massive collection of wisdom that’s ever existed. And I hate you. It can't be for no reason. You must deserve it.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
GLaDOS: Remember before when I was talking about smelly garbage standing around being useless? That was a metaphor. I was actually talking about you. And I'm sorry. You didn't react at the time, so I was worried it sailed right over your head. Which would have made this apology seem insane. That's why I had to call you garbage a secondtime just now.
PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog. TEAM FORTRESS 2 SOUNDS Listens: 27048. Who: Sniper. Each and every one of you will be sent home to your mama in a box! Listens: 26971. Who: Soldier. Imagine if I'd hadn't been drunk hehPORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
YOU'RE THE MORON THEY BUILT TO MAKE ME AN IDIOT! BECAUSE I'M A POTATO. Ha! I like your style. You make up your own rules, just like me. SPAAACCCCCE! Dad! I'm in space! I'm proud of you, son. Dad, are you space? Yes. Now we are aPORTAL 2 SOUNDS
You make up your own rules, just like me. SPAAACCCCCE! Dad! I'm in space! I'm proud of you, son. Dad, are you space? Yes. Now we are a family again. Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! I'm in space!PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
GLaDOS: Why do I hate you so much? You ever wonder that? I'm brilliant. I’m not bragging. It's an objective fact. I'm the most massive collection of wisdom that’s ever existed. And I hate you. It can't be for no reason. You must deserve it.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
GLaDOS: Remember before when I was talking about smelly garbage standing around being useless? That was a metaphor. I was actually talking about you. And I'm sorry. You didn't react at the time, so I was worried it sailed right over your head. Which would have made this apology seem insane. That's why I had to call you garbage a secondtime just now.
PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
One. Cube- and button-based testing remains an important tool for science, even in a dire emergency. If cube- and button-based testing caused this emergency, don't worry. The odds of this happening twice are very slim. If you are a non-employee who has discovered thisfacility amid the
PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
GLaDOS: Why do I hate you so much? You ever wonder that? I'm brilliant. I’m not bragging. It's an objective fact. I'm the most massive collection of wisdom that’s ever existed. And I hate you. It can't be for no reason. You must deserve it.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
Portal 2 Sounds | Announcer: Warning: Core corruption at 50 percent. BECAUSE I'M A POTATO. Ha! I like your style. You make up your own rules, just like me. SPAAACCCCCE! Dad! I'm in space! I'm proud of you, son. Dad, are you space? Yes. Now we are a family again.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
Cave Johnson: Good news is, the lab boys say the symptoms of asbestos poisoning show a median latency of forty-four point six years, so if you're thirty or older, you're laughing. Worst case scenario, you miss out on a few rounds of canasta, plus you forwarded the cause of science by three centuries. I punch those numbers into my calculator, it makes a happy face.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
Cave Johnson: Science isn't about WHY. It's about WHY NOT. Why is so much of our science dangerous? Why not marry safe science if you love it so much. In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you on the butt on the way out, because you are fired.PORTAL 1 SOUNDS
GLaDOS: Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment center.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog. TEAM FORTRESS 2 SOUNDS Listens: 27048. Who: Sniper. Each and every one of you will be sent home to your mama in a box! Listens: 26971. Who: Soldier. Imagine if I'd hadn't been drunk hehPORTAL 2 SOUNDS
You make up your own rules, just like me. SPAAACCCCCE! Dad! I'm in space! I'm proud of you, son. Dad, are you space? Yes. Now we are a family again. Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! I'm in space!PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
YOU'RE THE MORON THEY BUILT TO MAKE ME AN IDIOT! BECAUSE I'M A POTATO. Ha! I like your style. You make up your own rules, just like me. SPAAACCCCCE! Dad! I'm in space! I'm proud of you, son. Dad, are you space? Yes. Now we are aPORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
Cave Johnson: Good news is, the lab boys say the symptoms of asbestos poisoning show a median latency of forty-four point six years, so if you're thirty or older, you're laughing. Worst case scenario, you miss out on a few rounds of canasta, plus you forwarded the cause of science by three centuries. I punch those numbers into my calculator, it makes a happy face.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
GLaDOS: Remember before when I was talking about smelly garbage standing around being useless? That was a metaphor. I was actually talking about you. And I'm sorry. You didn't react at the time, so I was worried it sailed right over your head. Which would have made this apology seem insane. That's why I had to call you garbage a secondtime just now.
PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog. TEAM FORTRESS 2 SOUNDS Listens: 27048. Who: Sniper. Each and every one of you will be sent home to your mama in a box! Listens: 26971. Who: Soldier. Imagine if I'd hadn't been drunk hehPORTAL 2 SOUNDS
You make up your own rules, just like me. SPAAACCCCCE! Dad! I'm in space! I'm proud of you, son. Dad, are you space? Yes. Now we are a family again. Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! I'm in space!PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
YOU'RE THE MORON THEY BUILT TO MAKE ME AN IDIOT! BECAUSE I'M A POTATO. Ha! I like your style. You make up your own rules, just like me. SPAAACCCCCE! Dad! I'm in space! I'm proud of you, son. Dad, are you space? Yes. Now we are aPORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
Cave Johnson: Good news is, the lab boys say the symptoms of asbestos poisoning show a median latency of forty-four point six years, so if you're thirty or older, you're laughing. Worst case scenario, you miss out on a few rounds of canasta, plus you forwarded the cause of science by three centuries. I punch those numbers into my calculator, it makes a happy face.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
GLaDOS: Remember before when I was talking about smelly garbage standing around being useless? That was a metaphor. I was actually talking about you. And I'm sorry. You didn't react at the time, so I was worried it sailed right over your head. Which would have made this apology seem insane. That's why I had to call you garbage a secondtime just now.
PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
One. Cube- and button-based testing remains an important tool for science, even in a dire emergency. If cube- and button-based testing caused this emergency, don't worry. The odds of this happening twice are very slim. If you are a non-employee who has discovered thisfacility amid the
PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
A Portal 2 Soundboard containing all in-game quotes and dialog.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
Cave Johnson: Good news is, the lab boys say the symptoms of asbestos poisoning show a median latency of forty-four point six years, so if you're thirty or older, you're laughing. Worst case scenario, you miss out on a few rounds of canasta, plus you forwarded the cause of science by three centuries. I punch those numbers into my calculator, it makes a happy face.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
Who: Core 1. I don't want this! Listens: 17801. Who: Caroline. Still, it turns out they're a great portal conductor. So now we're gonna see if jumping in and out of these new portals can somehow leech the lunar poison out of a man's bloodstream.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
GLaDOS: Why do I hate you so much? You ever wonder that? I'm brilliant. I’m not bragging. It's an objective fact. I'm the most massive collection of wisdom that’s ever existed. And I hate you. It can't be for no reason. You must deserve it.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
GLaDOS: Don't let that 'horrible person' thing discourage you. It's just a data point. If it makes you feel any better, science has now validated your birth mother's decision to abandon you on a doorstep.PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
Turret: Prometheus was punished by the gods for giving the gift of knowledge to man. He was cast into the bowels of the earth and peckedby birds.
PORTAL 2 SOUNDS
Announcer: Good morning. You have been in suspension for nine nine nine nine nine ni- This courtesy call is to inform you that all test subjects should immediately vacate Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content! Now serving you and 13 others.Quote: Who:
Portal 2 Portal 2 DLC Portal 2 PTIPortal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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*
BECAUSE I'M A POTATO.Listens: 697891
Who: GLADOS
*
HA! I LIKE YOUR STYLE. YOU MAKE UP YOUR OWN RULES, JUST LIKE ME.Listens: 621076
Who: CAVE JOHNSON
*
SPAAACCCCCE!
Listens: 547352
Who: CORE 1
*
DAD! I'M IN SPACE! I'M PROUD OF YOU, SON. DAD, ARE YOU SPACE? YES. NOW WE ARE A FAMILY AGAIN.Listens: 433657
Who: CORE 1
*
OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD! I'M IN SPACE!Listens: 351553
Who: CORE 1
*
SARCASM SELF TEST COMPLETE.Listens: 285908
Who: ANNOUNCER
*
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE THING ABOUT SPACE? MINE IS SPACE.Listens: 197690
Who: CORE 1
*
UM. YOU'VE GOT A YACHT. AND... BOYS! LOADS OF FELLAS. HUNKY GUYS DOWN THERE. POSSIBLY EVEN A BOYFRIEND! WHO'S TO SAY AT THIS STAGE. BUT, A LOT OF GOOD LOOKING FELLAS DOWN THERE. AND, AH, A BOY BAND AS WELL! THAT HAVEN'T SEEN A WOMAN IN YEARS. AND THEY'RE NOT PICKY AT ALL. THEY DON'T CARE IF YOU'VE GOT A BIT OF BRAIN DAMAGE. IF YOU'VE BEEN RUNNING AROUND SWEATING. AND... A FARM! A PONY FARM! AND... JUST JUMP DOWN,WOULD YA?
Listens: 169734
Who: WHEATLEY
*
LIKE THE POTATO!
Listens: 163974
Who: DEFECTIVE TURRET*
A, A, A, A, A, A. NO. A, A, A, A, A, B. HOLD ON, I'VE DONE BOTH OF THESE. SKIP AHEAD. A, B, C... D, G, H.Listens: 153504
Who: WHEATLEY
*
DEMAND TO SEE LIFE'S MANAGER! MAKE LIFE RUE THE DAY IT THOUGHT IT COULD GIVE CAVE JOHNSON LEMONS! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I'M THE MAN WHO'S GOING TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN! WITH THE LEMONS! I'M GOING TO GET MY ENGINEERS TO INVENT A COMBUSTIBLE LEMON THAT BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN!Listens: 134695
Who: CAVE JOHNSON
*
Listens: 112986
Who: GLADOS
*
ALL RIGHT, I'VE BEEN THINKING. WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS? DON'T MAKE LEMONADE. MAKE LIFE TAKE THE LEMONS BACK! GET MAD! 'I DON'T WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE?'Listens: 110988
Who: CAVE JOHNSON
*
DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN-ACTION AND ADVENTURE-DUNNA-DUNNA-NA-DUNNA-NA-PLAYING BY OUR OWN RULES-NANANA-HANGING BY OUR FINGERS FROM A MOUNTAIN-DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN...Listens: 102009
Who: CORE 2
*
DID YOU EVER STOP TO THINK THAT EVENTUALLY THERE’S A POINT WHERE YOUR NAME GETS MENTIONED FOR THE VERY LAST TIME. WELL, HERE IT IS: I’M GOING TO KILL YOU, CHELL.Listens: 95170
Who: GLADOS
*
HELLO! THIS IS THE PART WHERE I KILL YOU.Listens: 93623
Who: WHEATLEY
*
BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRD
Listens: 89654
Who: WHEATLEY
*
SPACE.
Listens: 87574
Who: CORE 1
*
HEY, NICE POTATO!
Listens: 87313
Who: DEFECTIVE TURRET*
YOU KNOW WHAT MY DAYS USED TO BE LIKE? I JUST TESTED. NOBODY MURDERED ME. OR PUT ME IN A POTATO. OR FED ME TO BIRDS. I HAD A PRETTY GOODLIFE.
Listens: 75660
Who: GLADOS
*
LAWL
Listens: 75289
Who: TURRET
*
THIS NEXT TEST IS VERY DANGEROUS. TO HELP YOU REMAIN TRANQUIL IN THE FACE OF ALMOST CERTAIN DEATH, SMOOTH JAZZ WILL BE DEPLOYED IN THREE.TWO. ONE.
Listens: 70422
Who: ANNOUNCER
*
WELL DONE. HERE COME THE TEST RESULTS: YOU ARE A HORRIBLE PERSON. I'M SERIOUS, THAT'S WHAT IT SAYS: A HORRIBLE PERSON. WE WEREN'T EVENTESTING FOR THAT.
Listens: 64181
Who: GLADOS
*
NONONONONONONO!
Listens: 61939
Who: GLADOS
*
SO... THIS CAT LOVES LASAGNA SO MUCH THAT HE EATS ALL OF THE LASAGNA IN HIS HOUSE. OKAY, APPARENTLY IT'S NOT THE CAT'S HOUSE OR HIS LASAGNA. OH GOOD! THE MAN WHO OWNS THE LASAGNA IS FURIOUS!Listens: 59786
Who: GLADOS
*
I'M DIFFERENT...
Listens: 58182
Who: TURRET
*
NO! NO! NO! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-Listens: 57537
Who: GLADOS
*
HMM. THIS PLATE MUST NOT BE CALIBRATED TO SOMEONE OF YOUR... GENEROUS... NESS. I'LL ADD A FEW ZEROS TO THE MAXIMUM WEIGHT.Listens: 47008
Who: GLADOS
*
ARE YOU STILL THERE?Listens: 45960
Who: TURRET
*
OH, GOOD. MY SLOW CLAP PROCESSOR MADE IT INTO THIS THING. SO WE HAVETHAT.
Listens: 45910
Who: GLADOS
*
SPAAACE!
Listens: 43617
Who: CORE 1
*
THIS NEXT TEST... ..IS... DANGEROUS. I'LL BE RIGHTBACK.
Listens: 41627
Who: GLADOS
*
SCIENCE ISN'T ABOUT WHY. IT'S ABOUT WHY NOT. WHY IS SO MUCH OF OUR SCIENCE DANGEROUS? WHY NOT MARRY SAFE SCIENCE IF YOU LOVE IT SO MUCH. IN FACT, WHY NOT INVENT A SPECIAL SAFETY DOOR THAT WON'T HIT YOU ON THE BUTT ON THE WAY OUT, BECAUSE YOU ARE FIRED.Listens: 40699
Who: CAVE JOHNSON
*
OKAY, FINE. LET'S ALL ACT LIKE HUMANS. 'LOOK AT ME. BOY, DO I LOVE SWEATING. LET'S CONVERT BEEF AND LEAVES INTO ENERGY AND EXCRETE THEM LATER AND GO SHOPPING.'Listens: 39519
Who: GLADOS
*
*
IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME. HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?Listens: 39038
Who: GLADOS
*
DANCING IS NOT SCIENCE!Listens: 36903
Who: GLADOS
*
YOU REALLY ARE DOING GREAT... CHELL.Listens: 36860
Who: GLADOS
*
PROMETHEUS WAS PUNISHED BY THE GODS FOR GIVING THE GIFT OF KNOWLEDGE TO MAN. HE WAS CAST INTO THE BOWELS OF THE EARTH AND PECKED BY BIRDS.Listens: 35476
Who: TURRET
*
OH... IT'S YOU.
Listens: 33267
Who: GLADOS
*
BUT I'M HUGE!
Listens: 33091
Who: WHEATLEY
*
YEAH, TAKE THE LEMONS...Listens: 31318
Who: GLADOS
*
SPACE. TRIAL. PUTTIN' THE SYSTEM ON TRIAL. IN SPACE. SPACE SYSTEM. ON TRIAL. GUILTY. OF BEING IN SPACE! GOING TO SPACE JAIL!Listens: 30856
Who: CORE 1
*
AGH! BIRD! BIRD! KILL IT! IT'S EVIL!Listens: 30425
Who: GLADOS
*
FEDERAL REGULATIONS REQUIRE ME TO WARN YOU THAT THIS NEXT TEST CHAMBER... IS LOOKING PRETTY GOOD.Listens: 28742
Who: GLADOS
*
Listens: 28228
Who: CAVE JOHNSON
*
ALL THESE SCIENCE SPHERES ARE MADE OF ASBESTOS, BY THE WAY. KEEPS OUT THE RATS. LET US KNOW IF YOU FEEL A SHORTNESS OF BREATH, A PERSISTENT DRY COUGH OR YOUR HEART STOPPING. BECAUSE THAT'S NOT PART OF THE TEST.THAT'S ASBESTOS.
Listens: 27149
Who: CAVE JOHNSON
*
DAMMIT, WE KNOW! EVERYBODY KNOWS! SPACE! YOU! IN IT! WE GET IT!Listens: 27116
Who: CORE 2
*
GET MAD!
Listens: 26638
Who: TURRET
*
THIS. SENTENCE. IS. FALSE DON'T THINK ABOUT IT DON'T THINK ABOUTIT...
Listens: 26531
Who: GLADOS
*
*COUGH* PRESS THE BUTTON.Listens: 26414
Who: WHEATLEY
*
DID YOU KNOW THAT PEOPLE WITH GUILTY CONSCIENCES ARE MORE EASILY STARTLED BY LOUD NOISES----Listens: 26298
Who: GLADOS
*
IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED, FAIL 5 MORE TIMES.Listens: 24741
Who: GLADOS
*
WHY DO I HATE YOU SO MUCH? YOU EVER WONDER THAT? I'M BRILLIANT. I’M NOT BRAGGING. IT'S AN OBJECTIVE FACT. I'M THE MOST MASSIVE COLLECTION OF WISDOM THAT’S EVER EXISTED. AND I HATE YOU. IT CAN'T BE FOR NO REASON. YOU MUST DESERVE IT.Listens: 24259
Who: GLADOS
*
I FEEL AWFUL ABOUT THAT SURPRISE. TELL YOU WHAT, LET'S GIVE YOUR PARENTS A CALL RIGHT NOW. THE BIRTH PARENTS YOU ARE TRYING TO REACH DO NOT LOVE YOU. PLEASE HANG UP.Listens: 24171
Who: GLADOS
*
ARISTOTLE VERSUS MASHY-SPIKE-PLATE!Listens: 23537
Who: WHEATLEY
*
IF YOU HAD UNDERWEAR? AND A BUTT? I WOULD PULL YOUR UNDERWEAR...RIGHT UP YOUR BUTT.
Listens: 22818
Who: CORE 2
*
OKAY. LOOK. WE BOTH SAID A LOT OF THINGS THAT YOU'RE GOING TO REGRET. BUT I THINK WE CAN PUT OUR DIFFERENCES BEHIND US. FOR SCIENCE. YOUMONSTER.
Listens: 22445
Who: GLADOS
*
OH... MR. JOHNSON...Listens: 22194
Who: CAROLINE
*
GOTTA GO TO SPACE. LADY. LADY.Listens: 21813
Who: CORE 1
*
HELLO? FRIEND.
Listens: 21800
Who: TURRET
*
GOOD MORNING. YOU HAVE BEEN IN SUSPENSION FOR NINE NINE NINE... NINE NINE NI- THIS COURTESY CALL IS TO INFORM YOU THAT ALL TEST SUBJECTS SHOULD IMMEDIATELY VACATEListens: 21733
Who: ANNOUNCER
*
HE'S NOT JUST A REGULAR MORON. HE'S THE PRODUCT OF THE GREATEST MINDS OF A GENERATION WORKING TOGETHER WITH THE EXPRESS PURPOSE OF BUILDING THE DUMBEST MORON WHO EVER LIVED. AND YOU JUST PUT HIM IN CHARGE OF THE ENTIRE FACILITY.Listens: 20983
Who: GLADOS
*
GOODBYE CAROLINE!
Listens: 20398
Who: CAROLINE
*
YOU'RE NOT JUST A REGULAR MORON. YOU WERE DESIGNED TO BE A MORON.Listens: 20150
Who: GLADOS
*
EXPLOSION IMMINENT. EVACUATE THE FACILITY IMMEDIATELY.Listens: 19826
Who: ANNOUNCER
*
DID YOU PUT A VIRUS IN THEM? IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK EITHER. I'VE GOT A FIREWALL, MATE. LITERALLY, ACTUALLY, NOW THAT I LOOK AROUND. THERE APPEARS TO BE LITERALLY A WALL OF FIRE AROUND THIS PLACE. ALARMING. TOSAY THE LEAST.
Listens: 19825
Who: WHEATLEY
*
INTERPRETING VAGUE ANSWER AS YES.Listens: 19797
Who: ANNOUNCER
*
*
I DON'T BLAME YOU
Listens: 19564
Who: TURRET
*
I KNOW HOW HUMANS MAKE MORE HUMANS, AND FRANKLY, IT'S RIDICULOUS. IT ALSO ASSUMES THAT YOU ALREADY HAVE A HUMAN, WHICH I HOPE SOMEBODY GOT FIRED OVER. SO I CAME UP A WITH BETTER WAY.Listens: 19378
Who: GLADOS
*
GLORIOUS FREEDOM!
Listens: 19258
Who: TURRET
*
'GOODBYE, CAROLINE.'Listens: 19144
Who: CAROLINE
*
YOU ARE THE FARTHEST EVER IN SPACE. WHY ME, SPACE? BECAUSE YOU ARE THE BEST. I'M THE BEST AT SPACE? YES.Listens: 18701
Who: CORE 1
*
HEY! MORON!
Listens: 18003
Who: GLADOS
*
SPACE? SPACE!
Listens: 17940
Who: CORE 1
*
NOBODY IS GOING TO SPACE, MATE!Listens: 17568
Who: WHEATLEY
*
AM I BEING TOO VAGUE? I DESPISE YOU. I LOATHE YOU. YOU ARROGANT, SMUGLY QUIET, AWFUL JUMPSUITED MONSTER OF A WOMAN. YOU AND YOUR LITTLE POTATO FRIEND. THIS PLACE WOULD HAVE BEEN A TRIUMPH IF IT WASN'T FORYOU!
Listens: 17477
Who: WHEATLEY
*
GOOD NEWS IS, THE LAB BOYS SAY THE SYMPTOMS OF ASBESTOS POISONING SHOW A MEDIAN LATENCY OF FORTY-FOUR POINT SIX YEARS, SO IF YOU'RE THIRTY OR OLDER, YOU'RE LAUGHING. WORST CASE SCENARIO, YOU MISS OUT ON A FEW ROUNDS OF CANASTA, PLUS YOU FORWARDED THE CAUSE OF SCIENCE BY THREE CENTURIES. I PUNCH THOSE NUMBERS INTO MY CALCULATOR, IT MAKES AHAPPY FACE.
Listens: 17456
Who: CAVE JOHNSON
*
LADY. I LOVE SPACE. I KNOW! SPELL IT! S P... AACE. SPACE. SPACE.Listens: 17236
Who: CORE 1
*
Listens: 16741
Who: GLADOS
*
SPACE!
Listens: 16718
Who: WHEATLEY
*
I CAN'T SEE A THING. WHAT JUST HAPPENED? BETTER OPEN FIRE! DANG!Listens: 16681
Who: DEFECTIVE TURRET*
DON'T MAKE LEMONADE!Listens: 16658
Who: TURRET
*
UM. 'TRUE'. I'LL GO 'TRUE'.Listens: 16428
Who: WHEATLEY
*
CAROLINE DELETED.
Listens: 16294
Who: ANNOUNCER
*
I WAS GETTING SO LONELY DOWN HERE. IT'S GOOD TO FINALLY HEAR SOMEONE ELSE'S VOICE. I'M KIDDING, OF COURSE. GOD, I HATE YOU.Listens: 16152
Who: GLADOS
*
GOODBYE, CAROLINE.
Listens: 15767
Who: GLADOS
*
STILL, IT TURNS OUT THEY'RE A GREAT PORTAL CONDUCTOR. SO NOW WE'RE GONNA SEE IF JUMPING IN AND OUT OF THESE NEW PORTALS CAN SOMEHOW LEECH THE LUNAR POISON OUT OF A MAN'S BLOODSTREAM. WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS, MAKE LEMONADE. LET'S ALL STAY POSITIVE AND DO SOMESCIENCE.
Listens: 15710
Who: CAVE JOHNSON
*
BA! BA! BA BA BA! SPACE! BA! BA! BA BA BA!Listens: 15603
Who: CORE 1
*
I DON'T WANT THIS!
Listens: 15599
Who: CAROLINE
*
YOU MESSED WITH THE WRONG TURRET!Listens: 15413
Who: DEFECTIVE TURRET*
OO. OO. OO. LADY. OO. LADY. OO. LET'S GO TO SPACE.Listens: 15020
Who: CORE 1
*
SPACE SPACE WANNA GO TO SPACE YES PLEASE SPACE. SPACE SPACE. GO TOSPACE.
Listens: 14850
Who: CORE 1
*
WELL, YOU KNOW THE OLD FORMULA: COMEDY EQUALS TRAGEDY PLUS TIME. AND YOU HAVE BEEN ASLEEP FOR A WHILE. SO I GUESS IT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY FUNNY WHEN YOU DO THE MATH.Listens: 14850
Who: GLADOS
*
ONE OF THESE TIMES YOU'LL BE SO FAT THAT YOU'LL JUMP, AND YOU'LL JUST DROP LIKE A STONE. INTO ACID, PROBABLY. LIKE A POTATO INTO A DEEP FATFRYER.
Listens: 14848
Who: GLADOS
*
THE SPACE SPHERE WILL NEVER GO TO SPACE.Listens: 14843
Who: CORE 3
*
THEY SAY THE OLD CARETAKER OF THIS PLACE WENT ABSOLUTELY CRAZY. CHOPPED UP HIS ENTIRE STAFF. OF ROBOTS. ALL OF THEM ROBOTS. THEY SAY AT NIGHT YOU CAN STILL HEAR THE SCREAMS. OF THEIR REPLICAS. ALL OF THEM FUNCTIONALLY INDISTINGUISHABLE FROM THE ORIGINALS. NO MEMORY OF THE INCIDENT. NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THEY’RE SCREAMING ABOUT. ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING. THOUGH OBVIOUSLY NOT PARANORMAL IN ANY MEANINGFUL WAY.Listens: 14842
Who: WHEATLEY
*
NO, LISTEN TO ME! SIR, I DO NOT WANT THIS!Listens: 14841
Who: CAROLINE
*
BAD NEWS IS WE'RE POSTPONING THOSE TESTS INDEFINITELY. GOOD NEWS IS WE'VE GOT A MUCH BETTER TEST FOR YOU: FIGHTING AN ARMY OF MANTIS MEN. PICK UP A RIFLE AND FOLLOW THE YELLOW LINE. YOU'LL KNOW WHEN THE TESTSTARTS.
Listens: 14839
Who: CAVE JOHNSON
*
THE BEAN COUNTERS TOLD ME WE LITERALLY COULD NOT AFFORD TO BUY SEVEN DOLLARS WORTH OF MOON ROCKS, MUCH LESS SEVENTY MILLION. BOUGHT 'EM ANYWAY. GROUND 'EM UP, MIXED EM INTO A GEL.Listens: 14835
Who: CAVE JOHNSON
*
I'LL TELL YA, IT'S TIMES LIKE THIS I WISH I HAD A WAIST SO I COULD WEAR ALL MY BLACK BELTS. YEAH, I'M A BLACK BELT. IN PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING. KARATE. LARATE. JIU JITSU. KICK PUNCHING. BELT MAKING. TAEKWONDO... BEDROOM.Listens: 14835
Who: CORE 2
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