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RUMBLE, BUMBLE, TUMBLE Your friendly neighborhood know-it-all.* __
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THE “LESBIAN-ONLY TERM” MYTH: A COMPREHENSIVE HISTORICAL ESSAY ON ‘BUTCH’ AND ‘FEMME’, AND WHY BI WOMEN CAN USE THEMthelowlysatsuma
:
> femmebis
> :
>
>> INCLUDES (IN THIS ORDER):>>
>> * Essay >> * Sources >> * FAQ>>
>> -
>>
>> Before we begin, a key detail is that ‘lesbian’ originally was >> a synonym for ‘tribade’, meaning any woman who was intimate >> with another woman. Lesbianism was something someone did. You >> could have been ‘a lesbian’ and be romantically involved with >> a boy. Think of ‘lesbian’ and ‘lesbianism’ in these early >> times as being a synonym for ‘WLW’ (women loving women); a >> blanket term. It wasn’t until 1892 that neurologists used >> bisexual. And even then, it wasn’t until the 1960s (and no >> sooner) that the usage of ‘bi’ became common in a non-academic >> context. It wasn’t until 1988 that bisexual women and lesbians >> were ‘officially’ separated (though the movement to separate >> them began beforehand), and it was also this time that >> ‘lesbian’ began to mean ‘a woman exclusively attracted to>> women.’
>>
>> The coining of the term ‘femme’ is often accredited to >> historical lesbian, Anne Lister. However, what is often left out >> of this statement is that the original use of ‘femme’ in the >> context of describing her partner, Marianna Lawton, who was also >> involved with a man. It wasn’t even Anne Lister saying it; >> rather, it was a woman friend who said to Anne about Marianna, >> ‘Plus femme que moi,’ which translates to, ‘She is more >> womanly than me.’ If one is saying that ‘femme’ was coined >> by Anne Lister, they are also saying that ‘femme’ was >> originally directed at and used to describe a woman who had some >> sort of romantic relationship with a man.>>
>> Butch was a term coined by gay men to mean ‘masculine’ in a >> type of slang called Polari, otherwise known as Palare. Whilest >> the exact timeframe of this phrase becoming popularized is >> unclear, it was popular before the radical feminist movement had >> separated lesbians and bisexual women, meaning that, even if it >> did mean ‘masculine lesbian’, it would refer to all WLW, as >> that is what ‘lesbian’ meant at the time. Butch came into >> common use with lesbians in the 1940s; again, before the >> separationist movement came to split up the WLW community into >> ‘lesbians’ and ‘bisexuals’. There were plenty of butch >> non-monosexuals (which was the term back then for what we now know >> as bisexuality).>>
>> Some sources also say that ‘femme’ and ‘butch’ arose, not >> from Anne Lister or Polari, but from lesbian-only gay bars, >> starting around the 1940s. However, ‘lesbian’, at this point >> in time, was still just a term meaning ‘WLW’, which means that >> lesbian bars were frequented by women exclusively attracted to >> women and women attracted to multiple genders. This means that not >> only were bi women there during yet another situation often >> accredited to coining these terms but, since these terms would >> have been born from bars where bi women would have been, that >> would have literally meant that bi women also helped to coin these >> terms, as well.>>
>> It wasn’t until the 1960s (and no sooner) that the word >> ‘lesbian’ began known as being exclusively attracted to women, >> and not to men whatsoever. This part of history can be largely >> attributed to TERF Shelia Jeffery’s manifesto. It says, rather >> bluntly, ‘Our definition of a political lesbian is a >> woman-identified woman who does not (want to be intimate with) >> men,’ and describes bisexual women as ‘collaborating with the >> enemy’. Women who took this stance on being attracted to only >> women as a political statement are often referred to as >> ‘political lesbians’. By the 80’s, there was a firm split >> between bi women and lesbians, who proceeded to ignore the fact >> that the ‘traitorous’ bi women had ever been there at all. >> They successfully erased bi women’s history. After all, all of >> their history and culture had ‘LESBIAN’ written in big, bold, >> capital letters! This is why now, people can easily think that >> ‘femme’ and ‘butch’ are lesbian-exclusive; because radical >> feminists were purposefully trying to erase bisexual women’s >> part in their history.>>
>> It is worth noting here, as well, that, when femme and butch fell >> out of popular use in the 70s (the idea that masculinity harms >> women, and the idea that femmes wanted to reap the benefits of >> heterosexuality whilest still toying with women became popular >> during this time, and androgyny was portrayed as the ideal for >> ‘political lesbians’), it was kept alive by ball culture. Ball >> culture had been around since the 60s, whereas it was used by >> lesbians and nonlesbians alike, and it is attributed largely to >> LGBT+ youth of color. In this historical context, ‘femme >> queen’ means ‘transwoman,’ and a ‘butch queen’ means >> ‘gay man’. This further shows historical use of ‘femme’ >> and ‘butch’ in LGBT history, outside of women exclusively >> attracted to women.>>
>> And, again, on usage of ‘femme’ outside of women exclusively >> being attracted to women; James McDoland’s _Dictionary of >> Obscenity, Taboo and Euphemism_, published in 1988, >> defines ‘fem’ like this:>>
>> “Fem (_col_.) _A passive homosexual._>>
>> The term may be applied to both men and women, but more usually to >> men. It Australia it is generally applied only to men.>>
>> It is based upon the French word for women, _femme_, and indeed, >> in English, this spelling is sometimes used for passive lesbians, >> in preference to _fem_.”>>
>> That’s why the claim ‘butch and femme arose from the LESBIAN >> community for LESBIANS exclusively about the LESBIAN experience’ >> is misleading; lesbian communities were shared with bisexuals from >> the very beginning. ‘Lesbian’ meant all WLW. So, that means >> that butch and femme arose from the WLW community for WLW >> exclusively about the WLW experience. Heck, with ball culture and >> Polari in mind, it can be argued that it isn’t even exclusively >> a WLW term, historically. Bi women who are attracted to women and >> lesbians share the exact same history; the same history which >> created these terms.>>
>> SOURCES:
>>
>> (Source 1)
>> (Source
>> 2)
>> (Source
>> 3)
>> (Source
>> 4)
>> (Source
>> 5)
>> (Source
>> 6)
>> (Source
>> 7)
>> (Source
>> 8)
>> (Source
>> 9)
>> (Source
>> 10)
>>
>>
>> AND NOW, A FAQ, TO DEBUNK MISINFORMATION AND COMMON BIPHOBIC>> SENTIMENTS!
>>
>> _Q: I heard that bi women called themselves a part of the LGBT >> community when they were in a relationship with a woman, but >> called themselves straight when with a man._>>
>> A: This is misinformation. As I said before, ‘lesbian’ was not >> an identity; it was something you did. If you ever were in a >> relationship with or had attraction to a woman, you were a >> lesbian. They didn’t consider themselves a lesbian at some >> point, or straight at another; much more common was the phrase >> ‘non-monosexual lesbian’, if they even bothered to make a >> distinction at all. Again, I feel like I must compare how >> ‘lesbian’ was used to the term ‘WLW’ nowadays; even bi >> women nowadays who are in relationships with men are WLW. That’s >> how the term ‘lesbian’ worked.>>
>> _Q: Uhhh, ‘doe’ and ‘stag’ were LITERALLY made for this >> reason. Use your OWN terms._>>
>> A: Yes, you’re right. ‘Doe’ and ‘stag’ WERE made out of >> pressure put on bi women to not ‘steal lesbian culture’. But >> do you realize how insanely dehumanizing it is to say, ‘You’re >> not allowed to identify as these terms with your history behind >> them, go identify as an animal instead’? Many WOC are >> uncomfortable with these terms, because they are animal terms. >> Plus, we never should have had to make those terms. ‘Femme’ >> and ‘butch’ belong to us, too. And we shouldn’t have to make >> up new terms with no history behind them just so people won’t >> bully us for using our terms. Bi women can identify as a stag or >> doe IF THEY WANT. It is not your place to tell them how to>> identify.
>>
>> On this subject, the creators of the term ‘doe’ had this to >> say: “Why is there a perceived divide between ‘bi’ and >> ‘lesbian’ history? We share history. We run in the same >> circles. Usually kissing!… It (doe and tomcat discourse) exists >> within a framework that already posits bi women and lesbians as >> exclusive circles that sometimes overlapped, when really we have >> always been one circle, and radical feminism warped us… I >> created it (doe) as an alternative to femme because lesbians >> voiced discomfort with bi women using their self-identifiers. But >> what is yours and what is ours? Why are we inventing new language >> when we should be consolidating, reuniting, and celebrating one >> another?” (Source)>>
>>
>> While I do not agree with everything that is said in that post, it >> is important to note that even one of the creators of these terms >> seems to be upset about having to create whole new terms for the >> bisexual community when bi women and lesbians share so much>> history.
>>
>> _Q: Why can’t lesbians have something to themselves for once?!_>>
>> A: Please, don’t pull the oppression competition card on me. All >> LGBT+ people are oppressed. It shouldn’t be a race of who is >> ‘the MOST oppressed’. Lesbians have a lot to themselves, and >> so do bi women. This not a matter of ‘letting a group have >> something for themselves’, or ‘we’re the most oppressed, you >> take everything from us’. This is a matter of taking back >> something that was purposefully and maliciously taken away from us >> by biphobic radical feminists.>>
>> _Q: History doesn’t matter, it’s the NEW definition that >> matters, and the NEW definition means it’s a LESBIAN identity._>>
>> A: When bi women say that they want to identify as femme or butch, >> people pull out the ‘it’s always been a lesbian term, >> historically’ card. When we show said people the historical >> facts, people pull the, ‘it’s the NEW definition that >> matters’ card. Please choose one. Besides, if the definition >> changed one (from all WLW to lesbians), then it can change again, >> if you allow it. Plus, it’s really crappy to say, ‘I know you >> used to use these terms too, and they’re a part of your history, >> but, you can’t use them because we decided we don’t want you >> to. These are ours now.’>>
>> _Q: But you are inherently available to men! You can’t be a >> butch or femme if you can be in a straight relationship!_>>
>> A: Please, think about your wording. ‘Inherently available to >> men’ is a term many bi women detest. It makes us sound like an >> item for men to consume whenever they wish. Bi women cannot, by >> definition, be in a ‘straight relationship’, because, by her >> being in it, one of the parties is not cishet. Besides, some bi >> women aren’t even attracted to men (I’ve met women who are >> attracted to nonbinary people and women and call themselves bi). >> Even if a bi woman is currently in or looking for a relationship >> with a man, bi women (who didn’t have that term at the time) who >> were “available to men” identified as a femme or butch, when >> the terms were created and popularized.>>
>> _Q: But if a man is with a woman who says she’s a butch or >> femme, that’ll perpetuate the stereotype that lesbians can be>> with men!_
>>
>> A: If a lesbian is telling a man they wouldn’t want to be with >> him, they wouldn’t just say, “I am a femme/butch.” They >> would say, “I am a femme/butch lesbian.” And if a man still >> tries to be with them after learning they are a lesbian, he is >> lesbophobic. That is not bi women’s faults. >> Besides, ‘femme’ and ‘butch’ are terms meant to define >> ourselves in our own community, not to straight men.>>
>> _Q: You can’t understand what butch and femme REALLY mean unless >> you’re a lesbian._>>
>> A: So, we are ‘less WLW’ than you because we may or may not be >> attracted to men, so we cannot understand, is what you are saying? >> Or, more so that we aren’t able to understand it, but if we >> identified as lesbians, we would magically gain the ability to >> understand, because we’re lesbians? Definitions of words >> aren’t that hard to understand. We don’t use them because >> they’re ‘cool’. Bi women are not too stupid to understand, >> and it’s patronizing and INCREDIBLY rude to treat us like >> we’re too dumb to understand terms we helped to create.>>
>> _Q: You kept talking about bi women in that essay. What about >> other women who like women?_>>
>> A: I talked specifically about bi women, because that is what I am >> and what this blog is about. However, I believe all WLW should be >> able to use butch and femme. There are also historical contexts >> whereas it was used for non-WLWs (see ball culture), but, for the >> most part, it has its history mostly in the WLW community.>>
>> _Q: Just say you hate lesbians and go, lesbophobe!_>>
>> A: Okay, so we’re going to try and claim that one is bigoted for >> literally just knowing their history now? Nowhere here did I say >> lesbians COULDN’T use these terms, either, which is, ironically, >> better than what femme/butch gatekeepers are trying to do. So, by >> this logic, maybe I should just reply to every femme/butch >> gatekeeper with ‘just say you hate bi women and go’!>>
>> _Q: You’re not a femme or butch if you’re not a lesbian, no >> matter how much you say you are._>>
>> A: Ah, I see, we’re deciding other’s identities for them now? >> Alright. What if someone decided to say that all gay people are >> actually bi? By this logic, if someone decided to say, ‘Gay >> people are actually bi, no matter how much they say they are gay, >> so nobody can identify as gay or a lesbian anymore,’ that must >> make them correct!>>
>> No. It doesn’t make them correct. Just because you decide to say >> ‘you can’t be this thing no matter how much you say you are’ >> doesn’t mean that anybody has to listen to you, or change their >> label. And, before someone attempts to take this out of context; >> no, I don’t believe in my example statement. I was trying to >> make a comparison of a biphobic statement to what would be a >> lesbophobic/homophobic statement.>>
>> _Q: I didn’t read this whole thing because it’s too long and >> because I think you’re wrong, and I’m not going to try and >> read obviously incorrect information._>>
>> A: I’ve gotten this response multiple times. I can’t force you >> to read this, but I must say that refusing to read historical >> facts because you can’t stand to be provided with evidence that >> you may be incorrect is extremely telling to your state of mind >> involving this topic. That’s basically just covering your ears, >> closing your eyes, and screaming, “LALALALA! I’M RIGHT! I >> CAN’T HEAR YOUUU, LALALA!”>>
>> _Q: But I-_
>>
>> A: I’m sorry, but ‘but’ nothing. Even if I hadn’t supplied >> you with a humongous essay about the history of bisexual women and >> how they helped to create the culture around the words you’re >> trying to keep from us, you still wouldn’t try to control how >> bisexual women experience femininity or the lack thereof. OUR >> HISTORY WAS PURPOSEFULLY ERASED BY RADICAL FEMINISTS WHO >> CONSIDERED US TRAITORS. WE’RE TAKING OUR HISTORY AND OUR TERMS >> BACK, AND THERE IS NOTHING THAT ANYONE CAN DO TO STOP US.>
> the fUCKING radfems took THAT from us TOO? ohhhhhohoho im gonna > fucking PUNCH someone*
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22 hours ago
vampireapologist
:
> asexual awareness is important to me because the way society links > the desire to have sex with someone to “liking” someone is the > reason I didn’t realize I liked women until I was in college. Once > in high school I thought I might not be straight but someone (who > was just trying to help me wrestle with my identity) asked if I > would ever go down on a woman and I was really embarrassed and sort > of grossed out when I said “no!!!!!!” so the person and I came > to the conclusion that I must be straight when NOW I know I don’t > feel the desire to go down on or have sex with ANYBODY of ANY > gender. I misinterpreted all of my feelings for women as the desire > for close friendships because I didn’t want to have sex with any > of them. Even when I decided I did like women and started dating > women in college, I constantly worried that because I didn’t want > to have sex with them that I would wake up one day and realize I AM > straight and feel like a huge faker and an idiot so I constantly > doubted my feelings and actually avoided potential relationships > with some women I REALLY REALLY LIKED!!! It wasn’t until this > April when I realized that I’m ace that I finally felt truly > comfortable and confident in my identity for the first time in my > entire life!!!!!!! So yeah, thanks to asexual awareness and > discussions I can finally start going out confidently with cute lady > babes. And that’s why an active dialogue about asexuality is > important to me!*
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22 hours ago
bendingsignpost
:
> Recommended tactics to deal with a child hitting on you:>
> * “kiddo” > * “buddy” > * inform a friend to ensure you’re never left alone with them > * refer to own age in conversation > * “yeah, I know I look young, but you wouldn’t BELIEVE how > awkward it is being mistakenly hit on by a teenager!”>
> upon that child turning 18:>
> * “Happy birthday, kiddo!” > * “Have you registered to vote yet?” > * “Man, being a baby adult was so hard, good luck with that”>
> glorious-spoon
> :
>
>> and like… having crushes on adults is a Normal Adolescent Thing, >> but it doesn’t mean they’re ready for–or for that matter, >> _want–_an actual relationship with said adult. it’s a goddamn >> developmental phase for kids working out their sexuality, and >> treating it as a chance to get laid is fucking monstrous.>>
>> normal-with-adhd-is-a-joke>> :
>>
>>> This is the bare minimum of decent human behavior for ANY >>> gender. If you are an adult and someone who is not an adult >>> wants to have a relationship with you, it is your duty to, at >>> bare minimum, turn them away.>>>
>>> positivefeministt>>> :
>>>
>>>>
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22 hours ago
berrytera :
>
> @ezraomii had the > incorrect quote~*
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22 hours ago
princesstigerbelle
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> She took a midnight train goin anywhere>
> catasters :
>
>>
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22 hours ago
sophiecowdrey
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> I will always remember when the Doctor was me. ✨*
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22 hours ago
swolerbear
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> saldemars
> :
>
>> donegal
>> :
>>
>>> sapphia
>>> :
>>>
>>>> wefollowtheheartlines>>>> :
>>>>
>>>>> Very cool Merriam-Webster,very cool.>>>>
>>>> how do you pronounce it?>>>
>>
>> Yo thats cool as heck>
> For all the assholes who use the dictionary for the ultimate > authority on shit for whatever reason*
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22 hours ago
bluerayofsunshine
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> they actually made a good point about how a system originally > designed to be consistent and fair can also lack the sensitivity and > flexibility needed to deal with complex situations. this is shown > both when Stitch is labeled a monster and when Nani is judged for > not being able to earn a living and constantly watch Lilo at the > same time. Neither happened because the people making the calls were > cruel–Bubbles and the Grand Councilwoman seem to mean well, but > both were expected to make judgments very quickly by their > organizations… and both used loopholes to make kinder, fairer > decisions for our heroes.>
> mouser26 :
>
>> It however does not cast Social Services in a bad light. Cobra >> Bubbles does a lot to try to keep Lilo in Nani’s custody and I >> hate how overlooked that is. He legit shows remorse when he does >> try to take Lilo, which he only did because of her very reasonibly >> alarming phone call and the destruction of their house. >> Point is they didn’t make social services into a heartless judgy>> entity
>>
>> feminismandmedia>> :
>>
>>>
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22 hours ago
king-of-the-freeway
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> cathugging
> :
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>> yzghuldar
>> :
>>
>>> mingpicket
>>> :
>>>
>>>> kink: deleting someone’s pointless comment by reblogging the >>>> post from the same person they did>>>
>>> I mean, that’s censorship but okay.>>
>> ksvskwbidbwkdbskbsjw>
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22 hours ago
PLEASE HELP MY GRANDMOTHERmichonnee
:
> Some of you guys might know this, but she had one of her front tooth > break on her. It was one of the last few she had.>
> THIS IS NOT FOR AESTHETICS, THIS IS FOR HER MENTAL HEALTH.>
> She does not want to go outside nor talk to anyone ever since. She > talks to me. She is very very depressed about this, and its been > about two weeks since it happened. I have been able to pay for one x > ray on her teeth and one extraction of her roots, and that was it.>
> She needs another x ray and 4 more extractions, which im not able to > pay for. She needs a prosthetic set of teeth (which, believe me, is > not as expensive as i thought), and i really need to do this for > her. She’s the only one person i’ve got left, and seeing her > like this is making me feel horrible.>
> Besides that, she cannot eat besides soups and liquid things, and > she’s been getting thinner because of it.>
> IF YOU CAN HELP US, PLEASE DONATE ANY BUCK YOU CAN > TO “CAROLINE.RDF@OUTLOOK.COM”, VIA PAYPAL.>
> This is for her health, most of all. She needs to eat, she needs to > talk to people, she needs to go out, and she needs to not feel like > she is ugly all the time.>
> For real, ive never seen her so sad. Please, help us.>
> If you cannot help us with any money, please reblog this as much as> you can.
>
> Thank you for your attention, and thank you guys for always helping > us the way you can.*
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22 hours ago
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