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WHO’S RESPONSIBLE FOR THE HSE HACK? WE INVESTIGATE THE OBVIOUS answer as to what type of person or group that has hacked into the HSE’s IT system and disrupted the health service’s ability to delivery critically important services such as care for cancer sufferers could very well be that the perpetrators are simply vile scum or state-sponsored vile scum attempting to extort or damage the health service via a ransomware attack. ICE CREAM MAN ARRESTED FOR TRYING TO PASS FINGER OF TWIRL A LOCAL ice cream distribution technician is facing up to 5 years in prison for fraud and ’99 ice cream defacement’ after trying to serve customers a 99 fitted with a single finger of chocolate from a Cadburys Twirl in the place of a Flake, amid the Great Flake Shortageof 2021.
“LEAVE SEXY AND DISTINGUISHED EOGHAN HARRIS ALONE Some may say Eoghan, who is the country’s most insightful and articulate thinker and was once romantically linked to Mother Ireland, is a sad old obsessed man. But by saying such things they’re ruining the spotless reputation of a man who used his Sunday Independent position to staunchly defend Bertie Ahern’s financial affairs andlabeled
EUROVISION VERY GAY THESE DAYS, CONFIRMS DAD Eurovision Very Gay These Days, Confirms Dad. WATERFORD man Dennis Markey couldn’t help but notice during last night’s Eurovision semi-final event that the whole thing has just gotten ‘very flamboyant’, a far cry from the deadly serious, life-or-death event it once was. “It wasn’t always this ‘gay’, was it?” musedMarkey
ROYALS CELEBRATE BIRTHDAY WITH RITUAL HUMAN SACRIFICE IN Royals Celebrate Birthday With Ritual Human Sacrifice In London. THOUSAND’S of Royal enthusiasts have flocked to London today to mark the official 90th birthday of the Queen of England and the 95th birthday of the The Duke of Edinburgh in an emotional ceremony which saw the first public human sacrifice in Britain for 50 years. WHERE ARE THEY NOW? TECHNO VIKING Where Are They Now? Techno Viking. FIFTEEN years ago, at the 2000 Fuckparade in Germany, a legend was born in the form of a topless raver nicknamed The Techno Viking. Little was known about the muscle-bound man filmed in the 4-minute video, but one thing is for certain; he didn’t like women being pushed around, or being madefamous.
THE EDGE FINALLY GETS BEANIE SURGICALLY REMOVED AFTER FOUR The Edge Finally Gets Beanie Surgically Removed After Four Hour Procedure. U2 GUITARIST David Evans, aka The Edge, made his first public appearance at a charity fundraiser in Germany, just two days after a gruelling 4 hour procedure to remove a beanie hat that had been stuck to his head for the past 20 years. Looking a littledishevelled, Mr
WATERFORD WHISPERS NEWS HORRIFIC scenes were reported today in Waterford where 32-year-old Mark . PENNEYS, the bargain hunters' shopping paradise, will be open to . PAIN on a level which allegedly makes childbirth look like . FOLLOWING Arlene Foster's announcement that she is to step down . EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE ISRAEL/PALESTINE IN THE VACUUM created by an unfolding conflict, truth is often the first casualty. Anyone with an ounce of empathy will have watched the events occurring in Israel and Palestine Not A Recognised State and wept at the atrocities heaped on innocent Palestinians.. WWN has partnered with Benjamin Netanyahu and his Likud Party to provide you with the correct context and information. TORY PARTY SOAR AHEAD IN POLLS AFTER DAMNING EVIDENCE Tory Party Soar Ahead In Polls After Damning Evidence Exposes Johnson. FORMER ministerial aide Dominic Cummings has read out a litany of shocking revelations about his time at number 10, resulting in an unprecedented surge in popularity for both the Conservative government and PM Boris Johnson, wait hang on, that can’t be right, let us goagain.
WHO’S RESPONSIBLE FOR THE HSE HACK? WE INVESTIGATE THE OBVIOUS answer as to what type of person or group that has hacked into the HSE’s IT system and disrupted the health service’s ability to delivery critically important services such as care for cancer sufferers could very well be that the perpetrators are simply vile scum or state-sponsored vile scum attempting to extort or damage the health service via a ransomware attack. ICE CREAM MAN ARRESTED FOR TRYING TO PASS FINGER OF TWIRL A LOCAL ice cream distribution technician is facing up to 5 years in prison for fraud and ’99 ice cream defacement’ after trying to serve customers a 99 fitted with a single finger of chocolate from a Cadburys Twirl in the place of a Flake, amid the Great Flake Shortageof 2021.
“LEAVE SEXY AND DISTINGUISHED EOGHAN HARRIS ALONE Some may say Eoghan, who is the country’s most insightful and articulate thinker and was once romantically linked to Mother Ireland, is a sad old obsessed man. But by saying such things they’re ruining the spotless reputation of a man who used his Sunday Independent position to staunchly defend Bertie Ahern’s financial affairs andlabeled
EUROVISION VERY GAY THESE DAYS, CONFIRMS DAD Eurovision Very Gay These Days, Confirms Dad. WATERFORD man Dennis Markey couldn’t help but notice during last night’s Eurovision semi-final event that the whole thing has just gotten ‘very flamboyant’, a far cry from the deadly serious, life-or-death event it once was. “It wasn’t always this ‘gay’, was it?” musedMarkey
ROYALS CELEBRATE BIRTHDAY WITH RITUAL HUMAN SACRIFICE IN Royals Celebrate Birthday With Ritual Human Sacrifice In London. THOUSAND’S of Royal enthusiasts have flocked to London today to mark the official 90th birthday of the Queen of England and the 95th birthday of the The Duke of Edinburgh in an emotional ceremony which saw the first public human sacrifice in Britain for 50 years. WHERE ARE THEY NOW? TECHNO VIKING Where Are They Now? Techno Viking. FIFTEEN years ago, at the 2000 Fuckparade in Germany, a legend was born in the form of a topless raver nicknamed The Techno Viking. Little was known about the muscle-bound man filmed in the 4-minute video, but one thing is for certain; he didn’t like women being pushed around, or being madefamous.
THE EDGE FINALLY GETS BEANIE SURGICALLY REMOVED AFTER FOUR The Edge Finally Gets Beanie Surgically Removed After Four Hour Procedure. U2 GUITARIST David Evans, aka The Edge, made his first public appearance at a charity fundraiser in Germany, just two days after a gruelling 4 hour procedure to remove a beanie hat that had been stuck to his head for the past 20 years. Looking a littledishevelled, Mr
ROYAL – WATERFORD WHISPERS NEWS THE newly-born daughter of the on-again-off-again royals, the Duke & Duchess of Sussex, continues to rack up critics from both inside and outside Buckinghman Palace following reports that baby Lilibet’s placenta ‘wasn’t up to the royal standards’. BREWDOG FANS ASSURED THERE’S PLENTY MORE WANKERY BEERS ON 2 hours ago · Brewdog Fans Assured There’s Plenty More Wankery Beers On Market; Our 10 Euros Predictions; No Riding In The Portaloos, No Mosh Pit, No Getting Into Fights With Lads From Cork: We Review The Zero Craic First Post-Covid Gig WHO’S RESPONSIBLE FOR THE HSE HACK? WE INVESTIGATE THE OBVIOUS answer as to what type of person or group that has hacked into the HSE’s IT system and disrupted the health service’s ability to delivery critically important services such as care for cancer sufferers could very well be that the perpetrators are simply vile scum or state-sponsored vile scum attempting to extort or damage the health service via a ransomware attack. “IT’S NOT THE SAME” SAYS ENGLAND FAN FORCED TO THRASH OWN “SURE, it’s great throwing a chair through this cafe’s window and then punching this innocent guy here, but some of the spark is just gone,” confirmed lifelong England supporter Dan Smyth as he caused criminal damage and bodily harm in his own area ahead of England’s opening game against Croatia at Wembley. WWN REVIEWS THE LATEST NPHET BRIEFING WWN REVIEWS the latest episode in the long running ratings smash NPHET. It’s always tough to know when to end a long running series. All the energy, verve and pizzazz NPHET briefings were known for when it first burst onto our TV screens seems to have been drained from these latest episodes. AFTER LONG BATTLE, WOMAN LOSES HUSBAND TO EUROS 2 hours ago · MOURNERS lined the street outside no. 23 Castle Court to lend their solidarity and support to local woman Triona Campbell after the sudden loss of her beloved husband Derek to the Euro 2020 championships. "I'll be “12.5% IS THE IRISH FOR ‘15%’” DONOHOE TELLS G7 LEADERS 5 hours ago · IRELAND’S panicked Minister for Finance Paschal Donohoe has been frantically ringing world leaders attending the G7 summit in Cornwall in a bid to prevent a formal agreement on corporation tax, which could see the end to Ireland’s 12.5% rate. OUR 10 EUROS PREDICTIONS 2 hours ago · WITH the beginning of Euro 2020 just hours away albeit 12 months late, WWN Sport shares its 10 predictions for a tournament set to be jam packed with drama: 1) HOW DOES BABY LILIBET’S PLACENTA STACK UP AGAINST OTHER THE newly-born daughter of the on-again-off-again royals, the Duke & Duchess of Sussex, continues to rack up critics from both inside and outside Buckinghman Palace following reports that baby Lilibet’s placenta ‘wasn’t up to the royal standards’. JOHNSON JUST WAITING OUT PM ROLE UNTIL HE CAN GET GB NEWS Johnson is said to consider the new 24-hour news network, set to launch this weekend, as being ‘custom built’ for his brand of mildly racist, Britain-first pies ‘n mash rhetoric, and that he never would have bothered with the hassle of being the leader of Britain if he’d known that a sweet on-air role was waiting for him. WATERFORD WHISPERS NEWS HORRIFIC scenes were reported today in Waterford where 32-year-old Mark . PENNEYS, the bargain hunters' shopping paradise, will be open to . PAIN on a level which allegedly makes childbirth look like . FOLLOWING Arlene Foster's announcement that she is to step down . TORY PARTY SOAR AHEAD IN POLLS AFTER DAMNING EVIDENCE Tory Party Soar Ahead In Polls After Damning Evidence Exposes Johnson. FORMER ministerial aide Dominic Cummings has read out a litany of shocking revelations about his time at number 10, resulting in an unprecedented surge in popularity for both the Conservative government and PM Boris Johnson, wait hang on, that can’t be right, let us goagain.
EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE ISRAEL/PALESTINE IN THE VACUUM created by an unfolding conflict, truth is often the first casualty. Anyone with an ounce of empathy will have watched the events occurring in Israel and Palestine Not A Recognised State and wept at the atrocities heaped on innocent Palestinians.. WWN has partnered with Benjamin Netanyahu and his Likud Party to provide you with the correct context and information. NEW OUTDOOR DINING RULES REVEALED WWN can reproduce the rules for dining below in full below: 6 people per table with a maximum combined height of 36 ft are permitted outdoors from the 7th of June. Dining time will be restricted to 105 minutes. The end of this time will be signaled by the clock from Channel 4’s Countdown, growing ever louder as the seconds tick away. “LEAVE SEXY AND DISTINGUISHED EOGHAN HARRIS ALONE Some may say Eoghan, who is the country’s most insightful and articulate thinker and was once romantically linked to Mother Ireland, is a sad old obsessed man. But by saying such things they’re ruining the spotless reputation of a man who used his Sunday Independent position to staunchly defend Bertie Ahern’s financial affairs andlabeled
NIGHTMARE FOR DONEGAL FAMILIES AFTER MIKA APPEARS IN THEIR Nightmare For Donegal Families After Mika Appears In Their Homes. FAMILIES in Donegal have expressed anger at the lack of support they’ve received from the government following the sudden appearance of mid-2000s popstar Mika in their homes, causing mental distress and anguish. “You try getting to sleep at night with ‘Grace Kelly ICE CREAM MAN ARRESTED FOR TRYING TO PASS FINGER OF TWIRL A LOCAL ice cream distribution technician is facing up to 5 years in prison for fraud and ’99 ice cream defacement’ after trying to serve customers a 99 fitted with a single finger of chocolate from a Cadburys Twirl in the place of a Flake, amid the Great Flake Shortageof 2021.
WORLD DREADING INEVITABLE IRISH COVID VARIANT World Dreading Inevitable Irish Covid Variant. VIROLOGISTS around the world are bracing themselves for the inevitable arrival of an Ireland-originated Covid variant, which is feared to be ‘almost certainly the most God-awful awkward bastard of a thing we’ve faced yet’. Variants from the UK, South Africa and Brazil have alreadycaused
LOCAL MAN’S UNUSED TESCO COMPUTERS FOR SCHOOLS VOUCHER NOW Local Man’s Unused Tesco Computers For Schools Voucher Now Worth Millions. ONE LOCAL man’s collection of old unclaimed Tesco ‘computers for schools’ vouchers have been appraised by antique experts, estimating that when adjusted for inflation their worth runs into the millions of euros. “My granny left me hundreds of them inher will
MAN TRAPPED IN BUDWEISER WAREHOUSE RESORTS TO DRINKING HIS A DUBLIN man has told reporters of his harrowing experience after becoming trapped for three days in a Budweiser storage depot, during which time he was forced to drink his own urine to stay alive. Malcolm McArdle, 35, was working at the beer warehouse on Friday evening when he accidentally got locked in by co-workers after returning to grab WATERFORD WHISPERS NEWS HORRIFIC scenes were reported today in Waterford where 32-year-old Mark . PENNEYS, the bargain hunters' shopping paradise, will be open to . PAIN on a level which allegedly makes childbirth look like . FOLLOWING Arlene Foster's announcement that she is to step down . TORY PARTY SOAR AHEAD IN POLLS AFTER DAMNING EVIDENCE Tory Party Soar Ahead In Polls After Damning Evidence Exposes Johnson. FORMER ministerial aide Dominic Cummings has read out a litany of shocking revelations about his time at number 10, resulting in an unprecedented surge in popularity for both the Conservative government and PM Boris Johnson, wait hang on, that can’t be right, let us goagain.
EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE ISRAEL/PALESTINE IN THE VACUUM created by an unfolding conflict, truth is often the first casualty. Anyone with an ounce of empathy will have watched the events occurring in Israel and Palestine Not A Recognised State and wept at the atrocities heaped on innocent Palestinians.. WWN has partnered with Benjamin Netanyahu and his Likud Party to provide you with the correct context and information. NEW OUTDOOR DINING RULES REVEALED WWN can reproduce the rules for dining below in full below: 6 people per table with a maximum combined height of 36 ft are permitted outdoors from the 7th of June. Dining time will be restricted to 105 minutes. The end of this time will be signaled by the clock from Channel 4’s Countdown, growing ever louder as the seconds tick away. “LEAVE SEXY AND DISTINGUISHED EOGHAN HARRIS ALONE Some may say Eoghan, who is the country’s most insightful and articulate thinker and was once romantically linked to Mother Ireland, is a sad old obsessed man. But by saying such things they’re ruining the spotless reputation of a man who used his Sunday Independent position to staunchly defend Bertie Ahern’s financial affairs andlabeled
NIGHTMARE FOR DONEGAL FAMILIES AFTER MIKA APPEARS IN THEIR Nightmare For Donegal Families After Mika Appears In Their Homes. FAMILIES in Donegal have expressed anger at the lack of support they’ve received from the government following the sudden appearance of mid-2000s popstar Mika in their homes, causing mental distress and anguish. “You try getting to sleep at night with ‘Grace Kelly ICE CREAM MAN ARRESTED FOR TRYING TO PASS FINGER OF TWIRL A LOCAL ice cream distribution technician is facing up to 5 years in prison for fraud and ’99 ice cream defacement’ after trying to serve customers a 99 fitted with a single finger of chocolate from a Cadburys Twirl in the place of a Flake, amid the Great Flake Shortageof 2021.
WORLD DREADING INEVITABLE IRISH COVID VARIANT World Dreading Inevitable Irish Covid Variant. VIROLOGISTS around the world are bracing themselves for the inevitable arrival of an Ireland-originated Covid variant, which is feared to be ‘almost certainly the most God-awful awkward bastard of a thing we’ve faced yet’. Variants from the UK, South Africa and Brazil have alreadycaused
LOCAL MAN’S UNUSED TESCO COMPUTERS FOR SCHOOLS VOUCHER NOW Local Man’s Unused Tesco Computers For Schools Voucher Now Worth Millions. ONE LOCAL man’s collection of old unclaimed Tesco ‘computers for schools’ vouchers have been appraised by antique experts, estimating that when adjusted for inflation their worth runs into the millions of euros. “My granny left me hundreds of them inher will
MAN TRAPPED IN BUDWEISER WAREHOUSE RESORTS TO DRINKING HIS A DUBLIN man has told reporters of his harrowing experience after becoming trapped for three days in a Budweiser storage depot, during which time he was forced to drink his own urine to stay alive. Malcolm McArdle, 35, was working at the beer warehouse on Friday evening when he accidentally got locked in by co-workers after returning to grab 5 IRISH TIMELINES WE’D LIKE TO SEE LOKI FIX 8 hours ago · TOM HIDDLESTON’S charming, butter-wouldn’t-melt villain returns in Disney+ series ‘Loki’ to fix timelines and alter human history. The release of the 6-part original series from Marvel Studios got us thinking what hugely significant moments in WEIRD GOODIE TWO SHOES CHARITY CEO NOT SKIMMING ANYTHING 11 hours ago · CONCERN has been expressed for the future of a local charity after it emerged its CEO can account for every item or service bought using the company credit card, has paid for his own holidays and doesn’t have a company car, WWN can reveal. WHO’S RESPONSIBLE FOR THE HSE HACK? WE INVESTIGATE THE OBVIOUS answer as to what type of person or group that has hacked into the HSE’s IT system and disrupted the health service’s ability to delivery critically important services such as care for cancer sufferers could very well be that the perpetrators are simply vile scum or state-sponsored vile scum attempting to extort or damage the health service via a ransomware attack. NIGHTMARE FOR DONEGAL FAMILIES AFTER MIKA APPEARS IN THEIR Nightmare For Donegal Families After Mika Appears In Their Homes. FAMILIES in Donegal have expressed anger at the lack of support they’ve received from the government following the sudden appearance of mid-2000s popstar Mika in their homes, causing mental distress and anguish. “You try getting to sleep at night with ‘Grace Kelly IRATE & BARE CHESTED MARTIN CALLS OUT PUTIN OVER HSE RECENT attacks carried out by the Russian backed Darkside and Evil Corp hacking groups has given rise to suspicions that Putin’s FSB may be responsible for the recent HSE ransomware hack which might explain why an irate and bare-chested Micheál Martin is in the middle of recording a call out video to the Russian leader. WORLD DREADING INEVITABLE IRISH COVID VARIANT World Dreading Inevitable Irish Covid Variant. VIROLOGISTS around the world are bracing themselves for the inevitable arrival of an Ireland-originated Covid variant, which is feared to be ‘almost certainly the most God-awful awkward bastard of a thing we’ve faced yet’. Variants from the UK, South Africa and Brazil have alreadycaused
EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT EDWIN POOTS Here’s everything you need to know about Edwin Poots: Believes the Earth is 6,000 years old, while many believe he has the brain function of someone born yesterday. Dinosaurs don’t believe Edwin Poots exists. As health minister he pushed to charge women who elected to give birth via c-section rather than a natural birth £3,500 for the EUROVISION VERY GAY THESE DAYS, CONFIRMS DAD Eurovision Very Gay These Days, Confirms Dad. WATERFORD man Dennis Markey couldn’t help but notice during last night’s Eurovision semi-final event that the whole thing has just gotten ‘very flamboyant’, a far cry from the deadly serious, life-or-death event it once was. “It wasn’t always this ‘gay’, was it?” musedMarkey
IRELAND’S TOP 5 POISONOUS CREATURES Maltese Viper Bird. Although native to Ireland, the Maltese Viper Bird gained its name by flying abroad for most of the year, returning every so often to strike hard and fast at its enemies. Feasting on food gathered by birds across the country, the Maltese Viper Bird is perhaps the deadliest creature in Ireland, although wildlifeauthorities
THE STORY BEHIND WHY IRISH PEOPLE CALL TOILETS ‘THE JACKS In 1811, Jack Power was named as one of Ireland’s richest businessmen, but the pressure of fame and fortune soon took its toll. “Jack originally patented his multiple toilet system and insisted on calling it a ‘MultiPoo™’, but the people of Ireland preferred ‘Jacks’ instead – a term earlier coined by his children,” Mr.Davies
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4 DISASTER MOVIES THE GOVERNMENT IS WATCHING TO PREPARE FOR A HARDBREXIT
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COLOMBIAN COFFEE CAPSULE CROP THREATENED BY DROUGHT IN COLOMBIA, the coffee capsule harvest threatens to be almost completely destroyed this year due … -------------------------RECENT POSTS
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PARENTS THREATEN TO MAKE KID WATCH IRELAND GAME IF HE DOESN’T BEHAVE*
BANKRUPT, RECENTLY DUMPED MAN WITH ONLY DAYS TO LIVE GLAD HE’S HAVING BETTER WEEK THAN BORIS JOHNSON*
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CLIMATE CHANGE REVERSED WORLDWIDE THANKS TO PAPER STRAWS*
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ENTERTAINMENT
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HEALTH
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SPORTS
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THE LYRICS TO 'BARBIE GIRL' FINALLY EXPLAINED THE IMPENETRABLE sophistication and cryptic lyrics of Aqua's 'BarbieGirl', …
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